ImageTopGoblinStartup greed simulator
Global boardGlobal audit #731927
Due Diligence, the final auditor

Final audit

Due Diligence

Scores you after 7 decisions
Totally defensible valuation$38,720
$
Runway$10,000
U
Users12
H
Hype8
D
Tech debt0
S
Sanity82
Decision 01 / 7

Build your startup. Pick your poison.

Global modifierVibe Coder+25% Hype. AI creates extra debt.
Your suspiciously simple mission

Survive seven decisions.

Pick one card per round. Build the highest valuation you can before Due Diligence scores the books.

This click opens your first three choices and activates SFX.
  1. Keep aliveRunway and Sanity must not collapse.
  2. Look impressiveUsers and Hype push your valuation up.
  3. Hide the bodiesTech Debt destroys value during the final audit.
Green helpsRed hurts
Same global deck for everyone. No signup.
Free browser strategy game

Build a startup. Inflate the story. Survive the audit.

TopGoblin is a satirical startup simulator played through seven strategy-card decisions. Every choice changes Runway, Users, Hype, Tech Debt, and Sanity. Growth can make the valuation look heroic, but an empty bank account, a broken founder, or a dangerous codebase gives Due Diligence plenty to punish in the final audit.

A startup card game with shared rules

Each round deals three actions from the global deck. Pick one, accept its complete effect, and continue until all seven decisions are filed. Limited free redraws let you discard a terrible hand. Everyone faces the same global modifier, making verified results comparable even when the business logic is gloriously dubious.

One permanent global leaderboard

Your best verified valuation can enter the all-time Top 20. The ranking does not reset daily: a better run replaces your personal best, ties favor the earliest filing, and the highest positions carry live badges. Optional extra runs, redraw tokens, and openly disclosed stat bribes make the pay-to-win joke part of the game.