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A place to ask if you were, in fact, the asshole in a particular situation. AITAH is a judgment sub, not one to ask for opinions or advice. Relationships and hypotheticals (would I be the asshole if) are allowed. Do not use AI in any form, even for editing or translation - if you have to ask if it's AI, don't use it. An elaboration on our rules can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/wiki/index
I (m27) live in a 3 bedroom apartment and I shared it with two roommates. One of them moved out and the other roommate (f29) took over the room. It is bigger. I have had very bad experiences with roommates. I could sit for hours talking about the horrors of it. When our roommate moved out we decided we could wait with renting the new room until we find someone really good. We split the rent until then.
The vents in our apartment made it that I could hear what happened in my roommate’s. I think she has her bed literally below. I have never been to her room. And she is not a loud person but yeah I could hear it.
At first I was embarrassed but then I decided not to tell her because I didn’t want to make her awkward and then she would move out. She’s very shy. Then I would lose literally one of the best roommates I have ever had. She’s clean. Quiet and we barely even see each other because she keeps mostly to her room. She makes the best food too and she’s generous enough to just leave some for me in the fridge when she knows I have exam periods. I don’t want to risk it.
When my gf was visiting I made the stupid decision to tell her. She went berserk calling me an ah for (cheating?) and threatened to tell her. I am very sure she would die of embarrassment and leave. I don’t care what she does in her room. We are neighbors. I have never gone to my neighbors to tell them I can hear them moan. For me that’s a violation.
Obviously temporary account for privacy reasons
Update, so It thought a compromise would work so I texted my gf that I would speak to my roommate and tell her about the ”funny” thing I realized that the vents are leading sounds from her room and that I thought I should tell her
My girlfriend answered ”or you could just tell her the truth. Why beat around the bushes about it? Why her feelings matter”
”Because we share an apartment and I don’t want it to be awkward between us since she’s been a good roommate and she’s very shy. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable ”
”So her feelings are worth more than mine, got it”
I told her no and she said either I told her to stop for real or she will. No playing around just tell her the truth or she will.
I will tell her the truth then or we are over.
So I told her if you tell her the truth, we are over
