October 18, 2026
I wanted to have some conversations with my dad, Howard Nielsen, to learn more about his life. I realised there were a lot of parts of it I didn't know much about. We've been having a great time chatting, and I've learned a ton more about him! Below are a few excerpts from some of the conversations, with links to the fuller conversations.
The full series of conversations.
Four years old, in Monash, in the Riverland of South Australia: the summer before he started school.
Howard: …all of a sudden I got knocked unconscious. There were four grade six kids who were on a big swing … that went backwards and clunk, hit me just beside the temple. People who know me well say, now we know what happened to you.
… in between time, just about drowned. … I was sitting on the edge of the underground tank … and I was pushing ants in to see whether they could swim or not. It turns out that they could swim, but yeah, I fell in. … by that time Dad had jumped off the windmill and jumped in and saved me.
And then just to top it off … I got my appendix out in Berri Hospital on Christmas Eve … you had three life-threatening events happen within about six weeks.
Michael: … "What did you do over your Christmas holidays?" What a great answer.
Howard: Here's my medical history.
Part 1 · Grandparents, parents, growing up in Monash
Monash, when he was seven or eight, nine or ten.
Howard: Well, I think a big change was the telephone, for example. That was introduced for use more around when I was probably seven, eight, nine, ten. The telephone was invented before then, but… Our telephone was number seven.
Michael: Oh my goodness. That's an easy number to remember. Better than a URL.
Howard: That's right. And then as more and more people got phones, it became 17, and then 217.
Part 9 · Our telephone was number seven
A boy in Monash, at the bottom of the irrigated valley, where the football fields were.
Howard: I can remember, down in the bottom of the valley where the football fields were, I said to Dad, "So what's all that? What's all that white stuff on the surface there, where the grass is not growing? There's no white stuff elsewhere." He said, "Scientists don't know yet, but there's people who think that the way we irrigate draws salt to the surface." …
Why did I remember that conversation in particular? I'm not sure, but I think it must have been something I thought: well, if scientists think there's something wrong, how come something's not being done?
Part 9 · The biggest felt change
Twelve years old, outside Parliament House in Adelaide, waiting on the walkway while his parents were inside for the opening of parliament.
Howard: At the front of them was this guy who was speaker of the house, who had all these robes on and was carrying a large orb. He was trundling along to fanfare in that walkway. I was standing leaning against one of the pillars. … As they got close to me, I just still leaned on the pillar. The guy at the front looked down his nose at me from about five metres away and said, "Stand up, son."
I thought, "I beg your pardon, you don't talk to people like that." … So I didn't stand up, I just stayed leaning on the pillar. … For the life of me, I would hate it if people stood up for me if I came into a room. Everybody's sort of equal enough, or should be.
Part 8 · On deference and institutions
About thirteen years old, his second year at Glossop High School, twelfth man in the cricket match against Renmark High.
Howard: … this fast bowler from Renmark was running through our team. I think we were eight for 12 at some point and he'd taken a hat-trick … I went out to bat and I knew I was going to get clunked, but the first ball he bowled he put it in the right place for a cover drive, so I cover drove it for four. …
But the wicket keeper says to me, "Nobody does that to Jono and gets away with it."
Sure enough, the next ball I clean missed—just missed the stumps by probably a few centimeters. Then the next ball was more or less in the same spot and I clunked that for four. And I said, "How did you know my name was Nobody?"
But it was short lived because the next ball I was bowled, so I was out for eight.
Part 2 · Sports at Glossop High School
Eighteen years old, at Kedron Park Teachers College, Brisbane, about September 1969: both of them were running for the student union, she for secretary and he for president.
Michael: … Mum was like, "Okay, I'm going to go and meet the other candidates." … And when she asked about you, they said, "Go down to the tennis courts and there'll be a big tall guy bashing a ball backwards and forwards." And that's how the two of you met.
Howard: That's right. That's very accurate. …
… I still remember exactly where we were when we had our first conversation. Obviously she'd done her reconnaissance and decided that I looked okay at least. …
… she was at the top of a set of stairs and she was leaning over the set of stairs and I was coming up the stairs and said, "Oh, we should probably talk." And I remember what she was wearing—a dress that was like a mixed colour of like a maroon and orange, which sounds interesting.
…
Michael: … So how quickly did you realise this was going to be an important relationship? … What's fairly quickly? Are we talking about 30 seconds, 30 minutes, 30 days?
Howard: Well, the first 30 seconds were quite attractive. I didn't walk away saying, "I'm gonna marry that girl."
Nineteen years old, president of the Kedron Park Teachers College student union, Brisbane, 1970: escorting Princess Anne at a fashion show for young people at the Oasis. Near the end, the show's director knelt and presented her with a great cape.
Howard: He appeared out of nowhere with a great big flourish of a huge cape and he presented the Cloak of Australian Fashion to Princess Anne at her knees. …
I'm sitting here, she's sitting next to me on my left, and she picked up the Cloak of Australian Fashion, turned around so I could hear it and gave it to her lady-in-waiting behind her and said, "Put that with the other 12."
Michael: Ha!
Howard: … the guy from the Melbourne Truth … he asked me, he said, "Oh, there was a moment there where you had a bit of a laugh about something when the princess turned around…"
And I said, "Yes, I must have heard something witty that she said." And I left it at that.
Part 3 · Escorting Princess Anne
Eighteen years old and on, playing Australian football for Mayne in Brisbane, from 1969.
Howard: I never really thought it was okay to give up, even if you're five goals down with four minutes to go. In my mind: how long does it take you to kick a goal from the center-bounce? Ten seconds. So you could theoretically score four goals in one minute.
I used to talk like that on the field. A few times we ended up winning games …
About twenty, Brisbane, 1971: engaged to Wendy, with his parents by then running a hotel in Bundaberg.
Howard: … I think she was not so keen on the idea of me marrying a Catholic.
…
Michael: Did she ever say that?
Howard: More of a question. "So you're aware that Wendy's a Catholic?" "Yes. Yes, I am."
Yeah. Apparently, Mum and her sister-in-law, who was equally dismayed at that because they were fairly right, Protestant sort of church types—they both actually went to Wendy's mum and dad's place to see whether there was something that they might do to stop us from getting married.
And my dad didn't want to be a part of that, so he didn't go, wasn't part of that show. …
Anyway, my mum had asked Merle to keep it from us, the fact that she'd come to do that. But eventually a few years later, Wendy's mum did tell Wendy …
…
Michael: Was your mum at the wedding?
Howard: Yeah, yeah.
Part 3 · Howard's Mother's Objections
About twenty-eight, at Evergreen, a one-teacher school on the Darling Downs, where he was principal: the family dog, GR, hit by a ball in the backyard, ran onto the road.
Michael: Something else I remember from Evergreen was very sad. We had this wonderful dog, GR. I might get teary talking about it. …
Howard: That was pretty sad. I remember the whole thing going into slow motion. I could see GR had run out onto the front grass. I thought, "I hope she doesn't go on the road." At the same time I could hear a car coming from 400 or 500 metres away. I'm thinking, "No, this is not going to happen." …
We buried her in the backyard at the school.
She was a great dog, the old GR. Do you know why she was called GR?
Michael: No.
Howard: GR stood for Great Reluctance. So whenever I left the house, I could say I left the family with great reluctance. A bit of a joke but with some truth in it.
…
It's interesting that the emotions come back even 45 years later. Just proves how important family dogs are.
Part 4 · Evergreen and the Loss of GR
Brisbane, the Labor Party's central pre-selection for a federal seat. He had won the local members' vote; the factions held the rest. He had five minutes to speak.
Howard: I said, "I joined the party because of a book called The Light on the Hill, which I still believe in, which the Labour Party is based on. I don't see too much light at the moment, but I do see a big hill."
"I've got a couple of kids at home. They're going to want to know how I went today. At the moment, what I've got to tell them is that there's a senior person in the Labour Party who has full power over people like you sitting in this audience—you can't even vote for yourself in this pre-selection. Can you?"
A whole lot of eyes lowered. …
"I want to be able to tell my kids that actually it isn't that bad, that there are some good people around." …
Of course I lost. But a couple of people said to me afterwards, "That was amazing. You've got no idea how that will affect people in this room."
Part 4 · Running for Pre-selection
About thirty-nine, at home in Everton Hills, Brisbane, around 1990: Stuart, in year nine, has to put down what he wants to do, which will decide his subjects for years 10 to 12.
Howard: He was very self-sufficient with all that stuff. I remember him coming home from high school in year nine saying he had to fill out what he wanted to do in the future, which would determine his subjects for years 10, 11, and 12. I said, what do you want to do? He said, I want to be a professional footballer. I said, why don't you just put that? He said the teachers all laugh at me because nobody gets to do that. I said, they've got no idea. Somebody might want to be a doctor but doesn't end up being a doctor.
That's when he really had to agree with himself that that's what he wanted. When he was 15, he was playing X-League—top grade soccer in Brisbane.
Part 7 · Stuart's Football Career
Years later, a consultant to businesses and government departments, remembering his first year of teaching.
Howard: … when I was in the business area doing consulting work with businesses or government departments and I'd got the trust of people—they would often have conversations on the side to say, how did you learn to do this? What's your training for all this?
And eventually, when I got to know people really quite well, I'd say, well, very similar process to what I used to use with my year three class at Clontarf Primary School.
And of course you had to be careful—people need to understand you were sort of half joking, but not. It really was the same stuff, just different language.
Michael: Yeah.
Howard: Not even different purposes—the purposes were the same.
Part 5 · The Same Process, Different Contexts
A nursing home, at night, near the end of his mother's long Alzheimer's; his sister Sharon with him.
Howard: Sharon and I were sitting on either side of the bed, chatting to each other as much as anything. … I said, maybe Mum—she was always very stoic about things, you did the right thing—maybe she thinks she's doing the right thing by staying alive. Maybe she needs permission to not be alive, to die. …
I said to Sharon—it was nighttime—I'll go down and grab something to eat at the canteen and be back in a few minutes. I was back in a few minutes, and Mum had died.
More or less immediately. I said, did that happen? Sharon said, after you left, after our conversation, I did say to Mum, "It's okay to die if that's what you want to do." And she did.
Part 7 · The Story of Howard's Mother's Death
Seventy-five years old, at a Samford Progress Association meeting, reviewing the Samford Futures process he had led fifteen years before.
Howard: I said that was a very fulfilling process, but very strenuous, so I'm not sure that I'll be up for doing that again. Somebody else is going to have to put their hand up for all the organisational side of things. …
There was a bit of laughter about that—fair enough, I guess. But one person, half seriously—well, more than half seriously—said, "Yeah, but why did you bother doing it in the first place?" And I said, well, not to be too corny about it, but my view of life is that the world goes around a whole lot better when people have some level of autonomy over what they do. And that's the same in their household as in their community, as in their country, as in the world.
Part 9 · The Berlin Wall, and autonomy
