7.6.2026 hello fish. change has been the only constant since we last spoke. I started over when I came to LA and now I've started over again. this time it feels right. I loved my neighbors in pasadena but their habits were not compatible with me as someone who lives with severe APD and I needed to move out. a drawn-out crush situation came to a natural dead-end. when you lose something, you gain something too. I met y. and my new small house, duck, on the same day. I've found quiet, I'm surrounded by wildlife every day and I'm falling in love with someone. the eaton fire last january touched down in sierra madre just a few streets down from where duck is. the volcanic eruption in hawaii almost exactly coincided with my sister's wedding. I'm learning lots of hànzì. today I'm planning to bring y. a dead tree we liked. there was a brown bear right outside my window last night. I'll live every day as if my house will burn down tomorrow. 火 4.14.2026 i just started the second week of my new job and second week of being in la. I went to the bass pro shops pyramid, drove halfway across the country, stopped to see the grand canyon, and now I'm living for a month in a beautiful house in the musician lionmilk's room. I signed a lease for an apartment in pasadena last week. i'm still feeling really overwhelmed and anxious about everything going on right now and everything feeling uncertain but I think I'm having more good days than bad. the first few weeks of my job have been a lot less stressful than I imagined. I wrote a song for the first time in a while. I'm a bit less fearful of becoming unemployed again. I'm finally getting my autism diagnosis back from my psychologist and my ex and I talked for almost three hours today. a close friend invited me to play in an ensemble by the river next week. we won't be able to practice and normally I would turn something like this down but I'm going to try to make it happen because I really want all my friends to come so I can see them. I hope a. comes. I'm trying to get better at reaching out to people and not feeling like I'm being too much. my ex said that everyone is allowed to be a little bitch. I think she's right. ๑ï 3.22.2026 i noticed that my website was on the homepage of special.fish so i decided to make a special.fish <・)))><< my favorite special fish are moray eels. right now I'm procrastinating on a freelance gig, working on a point-and-click adventure game about my memories, recording some adventures on my childhood miniDV camera, playing through steins;gate, and slowly learning how to write for string quartet next week I'm starting a new job and moving to la. I'm trying to make more friends on the west coast (/any coast) who are into permacomputing and net art. I know a couple of you but I feel like I'm on the outside peering into another little group of friends 🔍 feel free to say hello here or send me a mail and-cs@pm.me