I Like You, However

There are lots of blog posts on the internet about all of the God-Forsaken quizzes you can take on Facebook, and trust that there posts about them for a reason.  I have taken everything from "Which Book of the Bible Most Represents You" to "Are You Gay or Not?"*  People take the quizzes because they are fun and sometimes you can get your friends to either stand up for you in defense against "You are The French Taunter from The Holy Grail" - or rail you for it because it's dead on.

There are also polls galore, though most of them recently have been about Michael Vick or Healthcare and you simply say "yes" "no" "maybe" or "what the hell - NO!"**  I do a lot of these, mostly because I like to see the results.  I think that Facebook is skewed, but I'm part of the skew so most often I find myself in the majority.  (I don't think that Facebook is diverse enough, but that is true of a lot of the internet.  Just a lower priority for a lot of people, and that's okay, but it needs to be said.)  Some of the answers have surprised me from some folks, and so honest conversation has been had and I've been enlightened and enlightening.

I like knowing what other people are thinking - not only can it build community, but it can foster better conversations both online and offline.  It's also kind of fun!

However.  (and nothing good ever comes after however.)

In my opinion, polls have no place in news shows.  Neither do Twitter Tweets, they are not news.  I think that we are about five channels too deep on actual news coverage, and to be honest I have abandoned watching any TV news and just check around on the web for reliable news.  All of the cable channels do it and it has got to stop. "@armonroe thinks that the Governor of California started the wildfires to gain publicity for his Surplus Yard Sale and it backfired" should never leave the lips of anyone on television, much less an agency intending to report on news.

It's not journalism, it's crap.  Leave tweets to Twitter, polls to reliable institutions and the news to news makers.
/rant

*Are You Gay or Not quiz was several questions, but the last was simply "Are you gay?"
**What the hell - NO! was my answer to "Should Sarah Palin run for President"

Why I Am Glad Summer Is Over

This is really just a summer-in-review post since we have been fairly neglectful of Abby's blog in the last few months.   There has been lots going on... 

PHEW!  Summer Break is winding down for Anny and Abby.  Actually, they both go back to their regularly scheduled school days tomorrow and I have never been so happy to see someone go to work in my life.  As I have had to sit at my desk, day after day, they have been out doing wonderful things with each other. 

What kind of wonderful things?  This summer they spent chunks of time in Downtown Silver Spring - every Wednesday to be exact.  They have a wonderful children's program during the summer, which is perfectly located because if your child tires of the magician, workout routine or singer/songwriter, they can just go play in the massive play-on fountain area.


They also went on daytime dates with Anny's Aunt Jackie and Uncle Bill to the Museum of Natural History, complete with massive Mammoth and gigantor Whale.  I know this because Abby's eyes still get huge when she talks about that whale!  (no picture because it seems Anny does not carry either camera unless I am around.)

They have spent most Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the Fairland Sports and Aquatics Complex in Laurel.  During the summer they offer "Open Gym" two mornings a week where for $5 you get free run of their entire gymnastics room - trampolines, toddler-equipment, foam pit - for an hour.  The other upside to this activity has been seeing some of Abby's friends there from week to week!  (no picture again, sorry.  It is a trend.  The only reason we have the fountain picture is that Nana was there!)

On Thursday of last week they took advantage of cruddy weather and a great deal to go see Horton Hears a Who at Arundel Mills with friends.  I still have yet to see that movie.  It sounds like it was a good time.

They have had a few playdates with some of Abby's friends, including special trips to the pool.  They have also had a lot of fun painting, coloring, going for walks around the lake and, well, whatever else came to mind!  There has been lots of Elmo and Signing Time going on in our house, too. 

All in all, Anny and Abby have had an excellent summer and are headed back to school this week.  I've never been happier.

Skype is Ruining TV

I have Skype - do you?  (If you do, look me up if we know each other.  If you just stumbled here, please don't look me up on Skype, that's just weird.)  We have used the service only a small handful of times, but hope to expand our use and get the larger family in on it.  (P&S - we need to talk about that!)

If you don't know what Skype is - it's a freely downloaded program that you can use for audio and/or video calls with other people that have the service - for FREE.  I meant to use it when my sister was in Ireland last fall, but never did.  You can also pay to use the service if you want to line it up with your cell phone or want to do other special feature types of things, but we use the basic version and are happy with it.

While I love it for personal use, it appears that Oprah, and other TV programs, are using Skype.  I think I've even seen it on CNN for interviews with "common folks" like me.  My problem is that it used to mean something to be on Oprah.  They would fly you to Chicago to see the show and be a part of a real interview.  The episode that drove me the most crazy - understanding that I only catch Oprah twice a month or so - was the one with Steve Harvey.  (He's brilliant by the way)  They had eight or nine screens set up in the audience and they got to ask Steve questions. 

Do you mean to tell me that no woman in the (all woman) audience had good questions to ask?  Could the questions not have been asked through email? 

I get even more annoyed with CNN does it.  They used to send real reporters out to places for a reason - Anderson Cooper (is he on CNN?  I just know he is cute and toying with people about his sexuality.  Good for him I say.)  knows how to report on a story with facts.  That's much better than any report I could ever give.

I guess I'm a purist when it comes to my junk TV, that's all.

Oprah and CNN - you're on notice.  Knock off the Skyping and just bring people in or interview them for real.  Technology is supposed to be fun, but you're taking something fun and making it seem like you're really lazy.

Unless you want to talk with me - my username is armonroe.  :o)

Fuzzy Lines?

We had dinner this weekend with our friends Bryan and Charlene and their boys.  We go WAY back and I'm really glad that our youngin's get along so well.  Anyway, that's a lot of set-up for something that has little to do with their family...

At dinner Bryan again questioned one of my hard and fast rules about photography and my daughter.  Specifically - why is it that I refuse to take pictures (or have pictures taken of) Abby in the bath tub but yet I posted THIS picture of Abby in nothing more than a diaper and a candy heart-shaped box. 

First, let me explain my reasoning for the no-tub-pictures rule, and preface it by saying that I do not have a problem if other people take pictures of their children in the tub.  That's your decision and I'm genuinely not judging, but we have made a decision that we are comfortable with for our child.  Anny and I, mostly I, just don't see the purpose of the bath tub picture. 

• I have absolutely no intention of showing a naked picture to any future suitor.  (Isn't that why folks take them?)
  
• I don't have a desire to post a full on naked picture of her on the web.
• Bath time is a time when we play and really begin the winding down part of our evening, and camera time is often not.

I admit that I do see beauty in the human body, but maybe I have just fallen too much into the trap of assuming that it's only for show if the person is "of age," whatever that age is.  There is a picture or two from Abby's first bath, and to me every one after that is just a part of our routine.  I don't put up pictures of me putting her shoes on...

Last week's picture: I think that the picture that I posted last week was much more covering than a lot of others, and I guess that is the reason I have no problem with it.  All of the things that I think should be covered were covered. I guess that I also saw last week's picture as more art than Abby - I had been planning and plotting it for weeks, but it didn't happen until a bonus day off in February. 

So, to me the difference is that one is everyday and commonplace, and a bit more exposure than I care for.  The other was designed and set up and done purely for the sake of the picture, and had all of my daughters' diaper area covered.  (How is that for rationalization?)

Do you take pictures of your child(ren) in the tub?  Do you post them online?  Is there a reason you do or do not?

Reality?

I could handle Reality TV when shows like Survivor came around - some day I might need the knowledge about how to kill a wild boar or make my own shelter.  I'm even okay with the shows that revolve around singing, like American Idol, or around fashion, like Top Model, because they give unknowns a way to get into the industry without having to have connections by skirting the traditional system.

I can understand while people enjoy watching trainwreck shows, too.  It's great comedy to see women fawn over Brett Michaels and Flava Flav.  Stupid and often gross (did you hear about when one girl pooped her pants right before Flav gave out his clocks?) but sometimes it is good to have just pure escapism shows.

Let me be clear, I don't necessarily watch these shows, but I can understand why they're on.  (I did watch one season of Survivor, the summer that Anny was working 24/7 at camp and I was home in the evenings.)

I do enjoy watching things like Little People, Big World because of the real life stories and struggles.  I know that when my daughter is 12 she will be dealing with some of the same things that their daughter is.  We enjoy SuperNanny because it makes us feel like no matter how bad we are at parenting, there are worse people out there.  It's actually helped us to talk through some issues that we have had while parenting thus far, too.

Somewhere along the way, though, things have gone horribly awry.

Two shows will be premiering in the coming weeks that I just can not see why they are being given air time:

JOCKEYS is on Animal Planet.  It will follow the lives of... Horse Jockeys.  I literally could not care less.

and

Heli-Loggers is on The Learning Channel.  This will follow the guys, all guys, are the ones that go in with huge chainsaws attached to a helocopter that they use to cut down trees.  Not exactly what I'm looking for in entertainment.

So, Discovery Channel partners, I'll stick to watching your new shows on your new network - Planet Green.  At least they have Bill Nye and Emeril!  You know, folks looking to help out the environment, not continue to do useless things...

Divorce

I wanted to blog about this last week, but there are a lot of things going on, including a memorial service for a woman barely older than I am, that have made my computer time a little more limited. I'm okay with that. I think I have finally found a good online/real-life balance again.

On Monday night I told Anny that if divorce was not so expensive, I would push her for one right now.  Before you think that there is trouble in our little paradise, let me assure you that all is well in our lives, home and marriage.  It's that last word that is troubling me.

Last week California took away the legal rights that had finally been granted to the LGBT community - that of marriage - with Proposition 8.  I guess I had only been reading liberal websites, because it looked to me like it would be overwhelmingly defeated by what I could tell. 

I just can not wrap my mind around knowingly taking away someone's rights that you enjoy yourself. 

Please do not quote to me from the Bible - I can not believe that God wants for some of us to have freedoms that others do not.  Do not tell me that "God intended for marriage between one woman and one man" because that is not where marriage came from.  If you look, from the Old Testament, marriage was typically between one man and many women.  Not exactly something that would fly these days.  Later it was merely a way to unite two land-owning families.

Here is Keith Olberman's response to the vote.  He pretty much sums up my thoughts.



If you view it as protection for children, ponder this... Would it be better for a child to grow up in a loving household of two parents, regardless of gender, or to have a split home where parents are fighting all the time and calling each other names?  If you're against gay marriage for the sake of "the family" perhaps we should outlaw divorce too.

See more videos at Funny or Die

Here's another way to think about it: more marriages means more money for your state/county budget.  Yes, you can think about this issue in a number of ways, why not just make it about cashola?  If you are denying the rights of same sex couples from marrying, really you should be charged more in taxes to make up the difference, because getting married is not a cheap affair.  Not just the state/county fees, but think about all of the people being out of work that could be catering, singing and organizing more weddings.

Civil Unions does not do justice, either.  That's not true - how about make everyone do a Justice of the Peace Civil Union and not call it marriage.  The playing field needs to be leveled. 

I'm closing comments because I don't want to argue about this - and I know that I differ from some of your views.  I don't need more conversation.  I need for people to think differently - to be differently.

The Importance of a Single Doctor

No, I most certainly do not mean that your doctor must live in the chastity of singleness or fidelity of marraige to practice medicine.  (Sorry, that's a Presbyterian... joke.)

A new blog-friend that I've recently found is experiencing a very frustrating existence.  He lives in England and was diagnosed with FSGS, the disease I have, but is dealing with three different doctors in a tag-team sort of situation.  From what I understand, he does not know when he walks into the office which of the "Consultants" he will be seeing.  (*I have just realized that this is because he is in England he is part of the National Healthcare system.  This is still important, so I'm still posting it!)

I want you all to know that this is very very bad.  (And I've told him so, and he's working to resolve it.  He was way before I said anything about it!)  If you don't see the same person from visit to visit you will receive different information, treatment, and, to be honest a different experience.  I saw a doctor once that told me I would be on dialysis in five years, have a transplant in ten, and probably another transplant after that.  This was "no matter what treatment we go with."  It was his last day at the practice, and I was thankful for that, because even with that grim prognosis, I believe that it would have been better to have stability in treatment than to bounce around too much.

This is not to say that you should never change doctors.  When I moved an hour away from my doctor, I remained with him for an additional year.  It was worth driving back and forth once every three months rather than making a switch.  At that point he and I had different ideas about how my treatments should continue.  He was very out of touch with new technology and refused to listen to me when I made suggestions.  After giving him my time and my health, I decided that it was best for me to move on.  He retired shortly after that, and I think that's good for the rest of his patients, too. 

When you have a difference of mindset from your doctor, things will not work.  If you are a holistic person and the doctors only answer and option is medicine, you should find someone new.  If you think that only drugs will work and your doctor says that you need to do yoga and see a chiropractor it will not work because you have to buy into their plan, and they need to know that you're going to do that.  Your health is not a commodity - doctors are should not be people-pleasers.  They need to work with patients as the individuals that they are. 

If your doctor is a part of a shared practice, it is okay (in my opinion) on occasion to be checked up by a partner, because doctors usually group themselves together with other doctors that share similar methodologies.  That being said - when I was with the out-of-date Nephrologist, his partner contradicted his request on my chemo treatment.  That created a lot of confusion for me, and made my choice to leave that practice easier.

The bottom line is that your doctor works for you - it's your health.  If you decide that you don't want to take medicines that are bringing you severs side effects, that you're decision.  You need to respect your doctors, but your doctors also need to respect you.  I am not one that believes that respect comes automatically with your position - so I believe that consistency of care is essential.

(Side note - I'm mad that the Firefox dictionary, among others, does not recognize "nephrologist" as a word!)