25 things I do NOT miss from childhood

Remembering 25 things I don't miss about childhood was harder. I don't tend to remember a lot of the negative, so this took more time and more searching. Luckily, or unluckily, I've been in bed almost all day with some evil stomach flu thing, so I had some time to contemplate.

This is the second half of the prompt Issa and I lifted from Schmutzie. You can read Issa's post here, and Schmutzie's post here. Here are mine:

1. That time spent in the doctor's office waiting for a shot.
2. The answer, "We'll see."
3. Falling.
4. Spankings.
5. Being made to eat all of my dinner.
6. School.
7. Not being able to find anyone to play with.
8. Waiting for my mom to get home from work.
9. The movie that aired about nuclear war and how we would all be X-rayed to death. At least, that's how I remember it. I was scared of every airplane that flew over for the longest time.
10. The real feeling that I might actually die from embarrassment.
11. My inability to emotionally communicate.
12. Big, thick glasses.
13. Telephones with cords.
15. Getting yelled at.
16. Being scared of the monster that was going to come up and grab me when the flushing toilet made its last gurgle. Which is what my brother convinced me of when I was six.
17. Being sick on my birthday. It happened a lot.
18. Waking up in the middle of the night, thirsty and lonely.
19. Boring cereal.
20. Powdered milk.
21. Mean girls and boys that teased. I didn't know how to handle either.
22. Having to practice Bach when I didn't understand how.
23. Worrying my period would start.
24. My horrible haircuts.
25. Being put in the middle.

25 things I miss about childhood

Issa and I are cheerleading each other through the month of November. Today and tomorrow we are spinning off of Elan's prompt of 25 Things I Miss About Childhood and 25 Things I Don't. Only, we are doing them in two days instead of just one. Because we could use the extra post, quite frankly.

So today, we bring you the 25 things we do miss about childhood. Here are Issa's 25 Things (which I haven't read yet because I didn't want to be all, "Oh! Me too!"). Here are mine:

1. Places to hide. There was an empty lot next door to us when we moved into our new house in 1979. It was overgrown in the back half, and although now, I realize it was just weeds and bushes, back then, it felt like I was getting lost in a forest. A builder left some bricks behind, and I built myself a fort. Read: small brick wall. It was my favorite place to read. I would also climb up onto the shelf in my closet above the rack for my clothes. I could sit up there and hide from my brother, or I could pretend it was my very own clubhouse. I always loved a fort.

2. Birthday parties. I miss other people's birthday parties. Mainly the cake. Rather, the anticipation of whether or not I would get an icing rose.

3. Getting a treat at the Tote-Sum. There was a convinence store on the way home from our school that wasn't a gas station - it was just a convinence store. It was called the Tote-Sum, and everyday, we would try and convince whatever mom was driving carpool that day to stop and buy us all a treat. Presumptious, right? But some days, they would do it. And we would pile into the Tote-Sum, pick out a piece of candy, and then pile back into the car. Sans seatbelts, of course.

4. Saturday morning cartoons. Bugs Bunny. The Smurfs.

5. Packing for a car trip. Deciding what would go in that bag was almost better than the adventure itself. Having to entertain myself confined to my half of the backseat was akin to number 1 on my list. It was like having my own little fort back there, and time to read as many books for as long as I wanted to read them.

6. Picking out an animal to hide in my daddy's bag when he had to travel. Daddy had to have some company. I used to sneak into his room while his suitcase was still open and stash one of my furry friends in it so that he wouldn't be lonely in his hotel rooms.

7. Spending the night with my grandmother. Even when she tried to curl my hair, I still loved being with her. She taught me how to make scrambled eggs, bake a cake, and never minded that my favorite thing to do was plunder through her belongings. I loved seeing what she had saved and collected over the years. Speaking of collecting, I miss

8. Watching her sew. I never thought I would miss that, but I do. She collected piles upon piles of fabric that she bought when it was on sale or just because it was beautiful. One time, she showed me how to thread the sewing machine, even though she was mostly blind at the time, and asked me to get the thread through the eye of the needle for her. I miss helping her, knowing now that she was really teaching me all the time.

9. Spaghettios and what I called Raviolios. So basically, pasta from a can. Yeah. Gross.

10. Riding my bike. All afternoon. All alone. All through the neighborhood. Without a helmet.

11. Pretend play. I miss getting lost in a story of good and evil. I miss pretending I'm a Smurf with my friend Amy. I miss the simple improvisation of childhood. My boys play this way together already, and I can't seem to slip back into it again. I was a perfectly useless Princess Lea in the backyard this past weekend.

12. Hunting Eater Eggs with my granddaddy. Every year. Into my 20's.

13. Sitting at the top of the stairs on Christmas morning with my brother. Every year. Even the first year he was married. My new sister-in-law joined us on the landing. We had coffee and groaned a lot, but I'm glad we had that one last time.

14. Sleeping on his floor the night before. My grandparents would spend the night at our house, even though they only lived about a mile away. It was just easier for everyone to come down in their pajamas at the crack of dawn. So I made a pallet and a fort with pillows and burrowed myself down into it to sleep at the foot of my brother's bed. Then I would sleep there for as many more nights as I could get away with past that too.

15. Going to the library and getting a huge stack of books that I actually had time to read. I have always gotten lost in books. Still do. That's why I rarely read anymore. My children have to eat.

16. Playing the piano and getting new music. I loved being able to just sit and play. I could play the same piece over and over and over again, just soaking in the colors and the harmonies that I loved about it - or I could sit with a new book and read straight through it, sight reading my way to a musical high.

17. Talking to my stuffed animals. They each had their own voice. Their own name. Their own story. Elaborate stories that I developed with my friend, Jill, who had moved away to Texas when we were five. We were pen pals, but our animals were pen pals too. Come to think of it, I guess Jill was my first writing group.

18. Peeling the skin off the top of the pudding. You know, pudding that your mom actually cooked on the stove top.

19. Getting my standardized test results back. I loved nothing more than staring at those results. I didn't know how I always did well, but I did. I didn't care that it actually had nothing to do with everyday life. 99th percentile? I'll take it. I would love to be in the 99th percentile for something today.

20. Asking if someone could come over and play. Playdates weren't in existence. Friends were found on a spontaneous basis. If they were home and someone could get them to your house, then you played.

21. A big bowl of peanut butter with chocolate chips stirred into it. Eaten with a spoon.

22. A plate of melted cheddar cheese. Product of the new microwave in our house. Eaten with a fork.

23. Singing John Denver in the backseat of our car. Singing it out of key when my brother bugged me to stop singing at all (yes, the beginning of the "let's sing wrong" game that I continue today). Making up my own harmony when my family would tolerate it.

24. Pretending my bed or the living room couch was a boat. Apparently, I enjoyed being trapped as a child. Perhaps I should bring this up in therapy.

25. My daddy.

I am from

I am from peanut butter, from Nilla Wafers and powdered milk.

I am from the southern part of the South, dripping with humidity and hypocrisy, balancing redemption and restitution, forever pushing people away all while calling them to come back home.

I am from the chaise lounge in the forked branches, the climbable magnolia.

I am from Sunday dinners and slow talking, from a line of Tom's and Henry's and Suttle's without being it at all.

I am from love felt deeply, loud laughter, fiery anger, long grudges, and stubborn pride.

I am from how you get to Hell and how you get to Heaven.

I am from Presbyterians, serious and regimented. I am from the Book of Order. I am from committees, liturgy, and sacraments. From preachers and elders. From Sunday School teachers. I am from tight knit youth groups where friendships remain even after time unraveled the rest.

I am from Mississippi. I am from buttermilk biscuits and pound cake. BBQ ribs and vegetables fresh from the garden that grew in town behind my grandparents' house. From the busy road, you could catch a glimpse of country in a part of the city that had been so very developed. I am from the country stuck within the city.

I am from boxes stuffed with photographs, unordered and smudged. From CD's I won't listen to anymore. From songs I won't sing again.

I am from five sets of china and antiques battling for space within my home. I am from a wedding dress boxed up and passed down, a wedding dress worn and then forgotten, and a wedding dress still new, hanging clean in the bag, overlooked for eloping. I am from dress gloves and costume jewelry that I will never wear, but yet never let go.

I am from a pipe that stills smells a little like my grandfather. I know this because I still pull it out of the drawer and expectantly smell it every now and then. I am from cardigan sweaters that used to warm my Daddy when he stayed so very cold all of the time.

I am from joy and pain. Pride and shame. I am from all of this and so much more.

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Jennifer at Playgroups Are No Place for Children was the first place I saw this. Then today, Maggie at Magpie Musings wrote one as well. They are both beautiful writers, and I hesitated to join in - but the template (from the Campbell Folk School in North Carolina) is lovely and the results all so different. Schmutzie has also done it and is making a link-up. Come join in.

2010 and 2011

There is a New Year's meme that has been around for a few years, but I've never done it. Jennifer reminded me of it this year, and I've decided to jump aboard. Even if I am a couple of days late.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you've never done before?

I had an unmedicated water birth. Last January, Colin was born at the Woman's Birth and Wellness Center in Chapel Hill, and it couldn't have been more perfect.

2. Did you keep your resolutions, and will you make more for this year?

I wouldn't really call it a resolution, but I did give up something significant in 2010. I quit drinking. Not counting my pregnancy, I'm coming up on a year anniversary of being dry and sober. I'm pretty proud of myself for that.

Other than that, I didn't make resolutions. I've never been a much of a resolution maker, although I tend to make changes in January. For instance, I didn't declare it a resolution, but six years ago, I stopped smoking in January. I think we are just in a mindset to make life changes at the beginning of the year, whether we call them resolutions or not.

This year, I'm calling them goals.

• Oh to be cliche. My first goal is to lose the weight I've gained since Kevin and I got married. I would call it baby weight, but since the babies really didn't need all of those milkshakes, I've got to take the blame myself. I'm hoping for about 20 pounds, which is more than I've ever needed to lose in my life. On the one hand, it's a little daunting, but on the other hand, I'm kind of thinking, "It's only 20 pounds." We'll see.
• Find a way to reinstate my yoga practice. Even if it's just once a week, I would really like to have Anasura yoga be part of my routine again.
• Set up the office. Organize finances. Use the filing cabinet.
• Have a play date set up for the boys once a week. Or at least, once every two weeks. This seems like it should be easy, but it's not. It requires planning and such, and I tend to suck at planning ahead right now.
• Start practicing and writing again. Music, that is. My chops are so rusty I creak when I sit down at the piano.
• Get involved in a Sunday School class.
• Take the train to D.C. at least three times to visit Susan.
• Bring my music collection into the 2000's.
• Write a children's book with Mallory. 
• Sew more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

That would be me. Also, Kara welcomed Merin. We love baby Merin.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. A former classmate committed suicide, but I had lost touch with him years ago. Still, I wish I had the chance to tell him what a beautiful voice he had and that I was sorry that he was so unhappy.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. Kevin and Mallory went to Greece in December. He was speaking at a genetics conference, and then the two of them did some sightseeing in Athens together. The boys and I were going to go until we realized that the money tree we planted in the backyard had withered and died sometime in 2009.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

More time with Kevin.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

January 24, the birth of Colin. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think it's a toss up between the water birth and the whole no drinking thing. Just because I'm pretty sure I can't answer "birth" for all the questions because that will get annoying.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Letting my depression get the best of me and not seeking out help when I needed it. My physical well being suffered. My creativity suffered. My family suffered. I'm not going to let that happen again this year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh my stars. When Colin was just two weeks old, I got shingles. It was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. Of course, Dr. Google had told me that I probably had lymphoma, so I was actually really relieved to hear it was just shingles.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I might change my mind if I gave it more thought, but what comes to mind right now is the Beatles Rockband game I got for Mallory when she graduated from middle school. It's something that we all enjoy doing as a family, and Christopher is learning all the words to Beatles tunes, which is a necessary part of his education.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

That would be Mallory, hands down. She is the most amazing teenager I've ever met. She is also the best big sister any kiddo could ever ask for. She's helpful, grateful, funny, creative, talented, smart, and changes diapers too.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

We had some serious issues with a contractor that some of our closest friends recommended. Aside from the contractor's behavior being appalling and downright frightening, when our friends stood up for him, I was crushed. I've tried not to let it be a friendship killer, but it's definitely wounded it. That breaks my heart.

14. Where did most of your money go?

What money? Kidding. We still have a roof over our heads and food on the table, so I'm grateful. Most of our money went to the kids. And the house. The never ending house projects.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Breastfeeding, natural childbirth, midwives. And, embarrassingly enough, Gymboree. I have a serious problem with needing to dress my boys in matching ensembles. It's ridiculous, but their sales really draw me in.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

"Tomorrow's Now Today" from the Music Together drum collection. It is what I sing while Colin is going to sleep, and it is now what Christopher requests as well for "bedtime music."

17. Compared to this time last year are you a) happier or sadder b) thinner or fatter c) richer or poorer?

I'm happier because my children multiply my happiness. I'm thinner, but only because I'm not 9 months pregnant. And I'm richer because I'm more satisfied with what I have.

18. What do you wish you had done more of?

Composing.

19. What do you wish you had done less of?

Yelling.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home with my boys. Mallory was with her mother until 5:00 this year, so it was just me and the boys. We got up to find what Santa brought and look in our stockings. Then we had French toast for breakfast, and Colin took a nap. The rest of the day was spent opening a present and then playing with that present for awhile. It was completely relaxing and wonderful. 

That evening, Mallory, Papa, and a man who works with Kevin came over. We had our traditional Polish meal and the rest of the present opening. Both boys were over the top excited, and I couldn't have had a more full heart watching them.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Head over heels with baby Colin.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Current TV program favorite was Sons of Anarchy, hands down. Kevin and I also watched The Wire finally though, and it was A.Mazing.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I don't like that word. I don't hate anyone. There are people that I wish were not in my life or that I hadn't met, but I don't hate them. To me, that implies that I wish ill will on them, and there is no one that I know who I would want harm to come to. 

24. What was the best book you read?

The Help, by Kathryn Stockett

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

There are a few here. I discovered that Amazon has mp3 downloads and always has some free stuff. Usually, the free stuff is something indie or new - something I haven't heard before. Working my way through the Amazon downloads, I found Arcade Fire, who I know isn't a new band, but they are new to me. Which is ridiculous. I used to read Paste from cover to cover and know everything that was coming out. Now, not so much. 

However, I'm pleased that I do have a few new musicians that I'm listening to this year. New to me in 2010 were:

• Arcade Fire
• Abandon Kansas
• The Avett Brothers
• Band of Horses
• Dawes
• Greg Laswell

Another musical discovery was Jack's Big Music Show. Children's TV at it's best. We love this show so very much in our house. And Andrew Bird as "Dr. Strings"? Freaking genius.

26. What did you want and get?

Control of my birth experience. A supportive and peaceful environment in which to give birth. A beautiful and healthy son in that birth experience.

27. What did you want and not get?

This is really pushing it, because overall, I'm completely and totally grateful and satisfied, but I guess I could say a minivan. A minivan really would make parts of my life much much easier. And would also seal my fate as the woman who will never ever ever be a rock star again.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?

Babies. I love this documentary. I could watch it over and over again. I think it's fascinating.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 37, and I celebrated by realizing that I had thought all last year that I was 37, so it didn't feel like I aged at all. Go, me! I also celebrated by having shingles. Which was a crappy way to celebrate.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I had stayed on top of my PPD and gotten help before things got bad instead of waiting. But hindsight truly is 20/20, and I'm not sure I knew I needed help before I got to where I got. That was a horrendous sentence. Me don't write so good sometimes.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?

Lacking. Seriously lacking. Although I was never so happy to see a trend come back in as I was when leggings hit the scene. Mock me if you will. My legs are the only skinny thing left on me right now. And leggings with BOOTS? Fashion heaven for me.

32. What kept you sane?

Zoloft.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

The Wake County school board had me pretty ruffled. They are driving our school district backwards instead of forwards, and I'm nervous about the consequences that will hold.

34. Who did you miss?

My momma. My daddy. My brother and his family. Susan. My grandparents. My NMD friends. My Chelsea pup. 

Myself.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

I met a lot of cool people this year, and I don't think I can choose just one. I've been meeting more people in my neighborhood who I really like. 

The boys' new music teacher is really talented, and I'm glad I met her.

I've met some really nice local bloggers who I enjoy hanging out with even though I usually skip the evening meetings due to Colin only wanting MAMA when he wakes up a bazillion times in the evening.

There are a bunch of great people I met this year. I hope that is a trend that continues in 2011.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

I don't know that I learned this lesson in 2010, but I feel like I finally applied it.

Friends come and go like seasons. Just because a season passes doesn't mean that it wasn't important, that it didn't help you grow, and that you can't remember it fondly.

And along the same lines, friendships change. If you can't change with them, then you will continue losing friends instead of keeping people who you love in your life. I have really tried to put this into practice this year. 

With one friend in particular - she is very dear to me, and we used to see each other every day, then every week, then every month, but we still talked on the phone almost daily. This year, we went months without speaking. Nothing was wrong (that I know of), but we are in different stages of life. So be it. I still love her, and I'm just considering this a phase of the friendship rather than the end of it.

Coming from the master of bridge burning, this has been huge for me.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I gotta skip this one. I've been singing way too much "Here come the ABC's" this year to have any quotable lyrics for you. Maybe next year I can quote something that was written for grownups in the year 2011. Maybe.

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So happy 2011 to you and yours. I'm looking forward to a wonderful year.

30 days of truth

It's November - that month when bloggers take a solemn vow to post everyday thereby leaving no one to actually read posts so I'm thinking it's a great month to do a meme.

Janet, over at Izzymom, was one of the first ten bloggers I started reading. She designed this here blog template for me too. About a week or so ago, she posted a meme that she was going to do on her blog, and I loved it. It's the 30 Days of Truth, and I thought it would be perfect for the NaMoBloPo (did I finally get that right?).

Kim, affectionately known as Miss Zoot, is also in the first ten bloggers I started reading list. I used one of her free templates for my first blog, and I simply adore her. She's doing the meme too, and you should check out her series.

Here are the days, in case you are game to play along. If you are, please leave me a link so that I can follow you. Even though it's November, I'll still be reading blogs and would love to see your 30 days too.

I'll be starting on November 1, which is Monday. But I wanted to go ahead and post the list in case you were willing to come back and join me!

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Day 01 Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11  Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12  Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13  A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17  A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21  (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

It's a football bat

It's been a busy week. Colin has had a cold, which for him, means large amounts of projectile vomiting whenever he wakes up. Fun fountains of frothy mucous and breastmilk. In our bed. Awesomeness.

We did walk to North Hills on Friday to run all of our errands. That has been one of my goals since they finally got the crosswalks and lights on Six Forks up to par. It isn't a bad walk except for the stroller getting extremely heavy uphill. It's good for me though. I've got some serious belly to lose.

After hitting REI, Target, and GameStop, we stopped for some lunch at Chik-fil-a before heading home. Christopher got a football in his kids' meal, and he was beyond excited for Daddy to come home and play FOOTBALL (always said with a toddler fist pump) with him.

They did play. Sort of. Christopher threw the football at Kevin and mostly got it pretty close to him. Then he would turn his head or run when Kevin would throw it back to him. The best part though, was when Christopher picked up one of his golf clubs, whacked the football with it, and declared it a "football bat." Good stuff.

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Kara tagged me in a meme. Of course, she also called me a serious blogger, which, bless her heart, I wish I was. I'm far too distracted to be that. Case in point: I have owned my own domain for three years now, but have never even redirected this page to it. That's pathetic.

Anyhoo, I actually love a good meme. Especially when I've been SLACK about writing. I kind of miss that more people don't do them anymore. So here goes -

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Probably Caramel Turtle Fudge from Swenson's. Waiting tables at Swenson's was my first real job. It surprisingly enough, did not suck. I got to meet and work with a lot of people who were way outside of my tiny Northeast Jackson box. And while I was actually far too clumsy to work there (read: many falls, dropped trays, spilled drinks, and cups upon cups of soup dumped out on the table), I survived. I also ate an enormous amount of ice cream and still managed to be wafer thin. I can honestly say I have outgrown that trait.

2. What was the worst job you ever had?

That's a tough one. I'm pretty flexible when it comes to working. I like to be busy and productive, feel like I'm not wasting my time, and help people. So I guess I would have to say that teaching piano at a private school here in Raleigh was the worst job. However, I met some of my favorite people at that job, so I can't say that I hated it. I wouldn't do it again though. Let's just leave it at that.

3. What is the best vacation you have ever taken?

That's an easy one. The two weeks I traveled around Britain and Amsterdam with my momma. I had spent the semester in London, so I hadn't seen her in several months as it was - then, when I finally did get to see her, we got to hang out in Europe. Way cool. Except for her driving. That was a little frightening. And the hotel in Amsterdam left a lot to be desired. Okay. So it wasn't the smoothest and most luxurious vacation, but it was definitely the most adventurous and most fun. Plus, we played Pooh Sticks off a bridge in the Hundred Acre Wood. You can't beat that.

4. What is your dream job or career?

I would love to write songs. Like songs that actually get recorded and make money. I don't feel like I have to be the one to record them anymore, but I would still like to write them. In some sense, I get to have my dream job in small doses. I absolutely love playing with Bill even though it is very part-time, and getting to write for and perform with the North Carolina Symphony was definitely a dream come true.

If I never worked another career based job, I would be happy. Mama is the best title I've ever had. It would be a-ok with me if that was my career of a lifetime.

5. Who was your favorite teacher and why?

Another easy one. Dr. Sclater, my composition professor in college. I'll answer this one more in depth in a separate post this week. He retired this year, and the college asked me to come back for his retirement concert/celebration and speak on behalf of his students. My remarks sum up plainly why he was my favorite teacher and one of my favorite people in the world.

Alrighty then. I've done everything but tag. I'm going to tag Grandma Sandy, because I don't think she's ever been tagged before (and by the way, she's nobody's Grandma). I'll also tag Abby in high hopes that her laptop is fixed, because it would just be cruel to ask her to blog from her iPhone. And if I didn't tag you, but you are inclined to play along, leave me a link - I would love to read your answers!

It's only fun if you play too

What's a girl to do when she's looking to regain her blogging mojo? Why, answer a list of random questions of course. Stolen from one of my most favorite bloggers, Miss Zoot, who stole it from someone else before herself. That's the way it works, you know.

30 Questions:

1. It’s 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
Wishing I was at home and in the bed.

2. What’s the last thing you spent more than $100 on?
Not counting trips to the grocery store, I'm pretty sure that would be clothes for the boys. I have a slight Gymboree problem.

3. What do your bank checks look like?
Standard issue style from the bank. (Same answer as Zoot)

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?
Swag from the music store where my ex-husband worked. Guitar strings.

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:
There are a couple of Anna Podris' paintings I've had my eye on for awhile. If they haven't been sold, I'll probably ask for one of those. Or, a more modest request would be a new Holly Aiken bag - one with the birds. I love those.

6. What color is your toothbrush?
White.

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it.
Local artists. I love to have original artwork in our home - especially that is created by North Carolina artists.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?
Torrero's with Kevin and the boys. It was fabulous. We hadn't eaten there in several months because of the whole no-dairy diet I've been on.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?
My oldest nephew, Jacob. Unfortunately, it is still on my kitchen counter and his birthday was this past Monday. Even worse, my oldest niece's was in May, and I haven't sent hers either. I suck.

10. What is your worst bad habit?
Drinking waaaay too much diet coke. (Also Zoot's answer)

11. Name a magazine to which you subscribe?
Everyday Food

12. Your favorite pizza toppings?
Fake pepperoni, black olives, and mushrooms.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?
I think I was looking for a doctor in the Yellow Pages.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?
That's a hard one, and kinda silly one. But I guess I could narrow it down to Susan.

15. What is the last thing you cooked?
Last night I made beer braised sausages and warm potato salad (from Everyday Food).

16. Name something you wouldn’t want to buy used?
Training potty

17. Which shoe do you put on first?
Maybe the left? That's the contact I put in first.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?
Some LLL papers. But I found them this morning.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?
The cheap Target dresser in our room that I'm stuffing Colin's clothes in for now.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?
Some pants for Colin.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?
None right now because of the baby, but Kevin gave me some for Christmas a couple of years ago that I really like. I don't remember the name, but the bottle is plaid.

22. Your favorite board game?
I like Dominoes, but there's no board.

23. What was the last board game you played?
Card game, actually. BS with Mallory.

24. Where did your vehicle come from?
Smithfield. A Jeep dealer.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?
"Broken Things" by Julie Miller.

26. You’re sad, who can cheer you up easily?
It was always my granddaddy before he died. Now, it would be Kevin.

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?
I have no idea. Black maybe?

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?
Cleaning the blinds. So we didn't put them back up after the new windows went in. Ha.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?
Fried, of course. With biscuits.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?
A mint chocolate chip log cake from Baskin Robbins. With lots of flowers and decorative icing. Yum.

Feel free to steal this too. Let me know if you do; I would love to read it.

Honest crap. I mean, scrap.

Another thing I have time for in the month of blog everyday is award memes. I had stopped doing them not because I'm completely ungrateful, but because I had become a lazy, time restricted blogger. I should have taken up Stimey's lead and just made up my own catch all award and written something funny and self deprecating, but I was too lazy to even do that.

Never fear, though, blog everyday this month, month, is here.

My across the street neighbor is also a blogger. When Kevin and I were thinking of moving, I tried really hard not to get to know her because I knew I was going to like her so much, and it would suck moving away. Ha ha on me - we got to stay put, meaning I wasted a bunch of time not hanging out with her and becoming cooler via osmosis.

She graciously bestowed upon me the Honest Scrap award. Instead of being an ungracious slob, I'm supposed to do these things:

1) Say thanks and give a link to the presenter of the award.
Thanks, Cyndi! I'm hoping lots of people (you know, all 13 who read this) go on over and pay you a well deserved visit. they will be glad they did.

2) Share "10 Honest Things" about myself.
I'll get to that in a minute.

3) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me. That's hard, because I'm going to leave someone out which is another reason I have been slack on responding. Guilt. But here goes:

• Fertile Mertile ~ She's BAAAAAACK!
• Stimey ~ Because she's the most hilarious ever, I love her, and I could possibly receive one of her handmade buttons about not posting buttons.
• Abby ~ For giving me things to do with my toddler and being a great friend.
• JC and Tara ~ my preggo buddies
• Momma ~ Why not? She's my momma, and my momma rocks.
• Amo ~ Because she's the world's greatest commenter and has an adorable kiddo. Go see.

4) Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving. I hope they are checking their stats for links, because I'm not sure I have the stamina to do much more. Again with the lazy.

Alrighty then. Ten honest things. As if I haven't spilled enough into this space over the past three years as it is. I'll try not to repeat myself, but remember, you're getting what you pay for.

1. The construction at my home is driving me batshit crazy. I've tried not to let it, but as of today, I'm admitting defeat.
2. Some days I let Little Bird watch a little more TV just because he's sitting with me on the couch in a perfect snuggle position.
3. I don't like vegetables when I'm pregnant.
4. I have drank more Diet Coke than I should have this pregnancy. Fountain ones from McDonald's. They are the best, you know.
5. I'm almost 200 pounds and still have 10 weeks to go. Oy.
6. I don't practice anymore. Or rarely.
7. I hate musicals.
8. Most of my dreams lately have had me starring in them as a tall, skinny, shiny haired brunette with much smaller boobs. Not hard to read into that one.
9. Right now I'm glad this is my last pregnancy.
10. I miss my Daddy. The way he used to be.

So there you have it. It's only day 10 too. Aren't you loving the month of November?

One day, no hate

I don't talk politics very often. For good reason, too. I don't know politics. To be able to discuss politics means that you have taken the time to find out facts from an unbiased source, and these days, that is increasingly difficult to do.

The talking heads cloud the issues. I don't enjoy the rhetoric.

But today, Corina has suggested we talk openly, without hate. It's a good thing to do everyday, but I usually choose to just not talk because you never know who is listening and what they are going to give back at you.

So here goes. A few of my opinions.

I believe that health care in America is broken and needs to be fixed. There are ideas from both sides of the issue that I think are good ideas, and I think that when reform begins, it is just that - a beginning. I think that reform will need to evolve over time, but that it is time to start now.

I believe that government shouldn't be small in one area in large in another. If you want government to tell people who can and cannot get married, then you are asking for license for them to dictate a lot more.

I believe that taxes are necessary, but wish that they were used more wisely. The government could use to get back to some of its Presbyterian roots and revisit the idea of stewardship.

I believe that it's beyond time to bring our men and women home from an unproductive war.

I believe that education is in crisis in our country and am nervous about my child turning five and starting public school.

So there. That's five things that could be controversial, or not. If you disagree with any of them, feel free to tell me so today. It's a day to disagree without hate and learn more about those who might disagree with you. So go forth and be kind, how's about it?

15 years in a nutshell

I connected with an old friend via email this week. The first email was short and sweet; about five lines stating "married with baby." Just the basics.

After the green light email back, letting me know that the connection wasn't unwanted, I wrote a longer email with more details.

It took me awhile.

As I sat there composing my easy-breezy letter to this old friend, I started over analyzing things. I started wondering if I was telling the right snippets of information about my life since we last spoke.

How exactly do you summarize the last 15 years of your life?

Upon further reflection, I wish I had just sent a list. Something like this:

1. Graduated from college, moved to Raleigh, wasted a good bit of my 20's.
2. Got married for lack of a better idea, divorced seven years later.
3. Was not and will never be a rock star no matter how hard I tried. And no, you may not hear the CD.
4. Love dogs like a crazy woman.
5. Play piano, teach piano, write for piano. Sing when asked.
6. Tried to save all the children with a non-profit music school for low-income families.
7. Admitted I'm not really blonde. Am now a brunette. Mostly.
8. Got married again for the right reasons this time.
9. My parents are hanging in there, but have health problems. My brother has a wonderful wife and 5 kiddos.
10. Christopher was born on January 26, 2008, finally making me a mom. Most everything else I would have to say involves him. Four months out of 15 years are just about all I want to talk about.


The more I thought about it, the more I thought this would make an excellent meme. So I'm making one up. Drunk with power, I am.

Our new meme should have a name. I think I'll call it the 15 Years in a Nutshell meme. Because that's not a stupid name or anything.

If you are so inclined to play along with me, then here's the deal. Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn't seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life?

You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.

I'm tagging:

Bubblewench, because I think she has a fascinating history.

Susie, because I just started reading her blog and this would be a rather subtle way of being nosy and learning more about her. Well, it would have been if I hadn't just put it out there like that.

KD, because she is the meme queen.

Jill, because I've been picking up on some interesting tidbits in her life here and there.

Guy, because he needs something to write about besides the damn Alltel wizard, and because I'm actually curious as to what he would pick out for his list.


Y'all play nice, hear?

Seven and five memes

I'm not a resolution maker. However, having finally caught up on my blog reading even if I had to skim some, I would like to stay more up to date with things and the people I care about in this community.

That includes answering memes and awards in a timely fashion. I've been a rude blogger lately, and that is going to change.

I don't promise though, that I won't cheat and do two memes in one post. Heh.

Emily, the fantabulous editor of Props and Pans and author of Fenicle, tagged me for a seven random facts meme. I've been tagged for this before, but we know what happened there. I was just rude. Sorry about that.

1. I have expensive tastes and a tight wallet. The two contradict each other all the time. Consequently, I would rather have one pair of expensive jeans that fit really well than 5 pairs of cheapo's that don't. On the other hand, nothing gets me more stoked than a good bargain.

2. I have never liked the way I look more than I do now while I'm pregnant.

3. Dogs like me.

4. Cameras don't.

5. I would rather have a bare wall than hang something on it that wasn't made by an artist. Preferably one I have met.

6. There's an unworn wedding dress hanging in my guest bedroom.

7. I love whole milk.

I'm tagging, well, I think most everyone I know has been tagged for this, but I can't remember. I'll tag, and if you've done it, don't feel like you have to repeat it. Kimmie, because she needs a distraction. Amy, because she doesn't need a distraction, but I figure she has learned a lot about herself lately. How about another fellow preggo at The Vessel? It's not seven, but it's the best I can do right now. If you ladies care to play along, just link back to here, list your 7 random things, and then tag seven additional bloggers. Let them know by leaving them a comment. Or cheat and just tag three.

The next meme is from Imstell. Here are the rules:

************

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

• Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. or

• Share the 5 top places on your "want to see or want to see again" list. or

• Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when your were 25 years old.

Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.

************

I'm choosing the 5 things I never pictured being in my future when I was 25 years old.

1. Being pregnant.
2. Being a part-time stay at home mom.
3. Being married to a man who lights my fire.
4. Never pictured my daddy as someone who would need such care so early in his life.
5. Wouldn't have thought the recording and performing I do would be in the new age genre rather than the rock genre.

For this, I tag Whymommy, Girl, Bubblewench, the most awesome Hat Maker ever, and Tara.

Amen. Thus endeth the memes.

V-Day, D-Day

From the folks over at TheGoodBlogs, comes the inspiration to tell you all the story of Valentine's Day, 2005. If you can top this, or even come close, please let me know. It would be nice to share a bit of horrid Valentine's memories with you all.

February 14, 2005

I was not married to Guy. I didn't even really like Guy that much at the time. He was alright, but I found him to be a little pushy and he liked to hear himself talk. Oooo, how wrong I was. Those are traits I misjudged and love now. That is so not the story for today though.

On Valentine's Day, 2005, I gave my first husband the boot. Pack your bags and hit the road, buddy. I have had enough and I can't take no more.

To a lot of our friends, who remain his friends for this reason, this decision seemed rash and out of the blue. To the ones who remain my friends, let's just say they could see the bigger picture. I use the plural of friends quite liberally there, by the way.

People change. Normal healthy people change. It's usually called growth. Every year, we both got older, and every year, I kept waiting for him to grow. He is a smart guy and a dreamer, but there was absolutely no motivation. No growth. All the therapy and self help books in the world will probably never change that.

Without getting into the boring details and completely defacing my Kind Blog button, I will say this. There was promise after promise made. Plan after plan. Goal after goal. And every time, I ran for the goals, watching as the finish line crept further and further away in the distance. Even after he had a Master's degree and the student loans to show for it, there was no job. Even after the 2 years of taking prerequisites for nursing school, there was no nursing school. Even after the 4 years of trying to start a family, there was no family.

Finally, on Valentine's Day, I broke.

It was harder than I let people know about. I didn't hate him. In fact, I still laugh at things he said or did, and have many more pleasant stories of him than not. What I did hate was my life with him. My father described it as having an anvil tied around my neck while I was trying to swim.

It was harder than people wanted to know about too. My ex is everybody's favorite guy. He is always there when they need him. He is thoughtful and quirky. He remembers your kid's birthday. He remembers your birthday. He listens to your advice and pretends he is going to take it, making you feel smart and worthwhile. He makes a fanfreakingtastic victim.

Which leaves me on the other side.

Anyway, I'm venturing off topic here. Valentine's Day. I'm talking about Valentine's Day.

I had finally decided, (and it was just me, even though I thought it was we) that instead of adopting, we should look at getting a sperm donor. Appointments were made, research was done, and his role was to make sure that I had maternity coverage on our insurance.

One phone call. That was all he had to do.

On Valentine's Day, 2005, I called the insurance company for them to fax over the specifics of our infertility coverage for my appointment later that week. She said she would, but was I aware that I had no maternity coverage?

No. I wasn't.

Can I please add it?

No. You can't. Not until next January.

It was like someone finally turned on the light in the room and I looked around, just noticing that I had been trying to work in the dark all those years. Just one flick of a switch.

The ex had made us dinner reservations at my favorite restaurant for that evening. Which is funny to me since he had no way to pay for it other than a credit card. Which is essentially having no way to pay for it.

First I calmly the restaurant and cancelled our reservations.

Then I got up, shut the door to my office, and dialed my ex. He was his usual bubbly self. He asked about dinner that evening and I told him I cancelled the reservations. He wanted to know why.

Because I don't want to be with you anymore.

That was it. Period. The end of a marriage.

We met for dinner in a week to see if he could move back in, and we could work on things. Unfortunately, that week was the best week of my adult life that far. My mind was made up.

It was time to close that chapter and hope that life had more to offer than disappointment.

Two short years later, I am sitting here typing this entry while Guy is singing "Roxanne" in the style of some Cuban Muppet from the shower upstairs. Disappointments come in the form of illness, miscarriage, and lay off's. Things that just happen in life, not things that you can avoid. And I have Guy to weather them with. A partner and friend. And since it's Valentine's Day, I should throw in that he's a damn good lover.

So was 2005 the worst Valentine's Day ever? Maybe. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

my worst valentine date