July 13th, 2024 Cohost Entry:
Jul. 13th, 2024 12:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deadfrogcontent warning: loss of a headmate
he is still gone and it's still difficult to talk about. the people we talk to have tried to comfort us. he's probably only sleeping. he's just gone away. he'll definitely be back.
it's not definite. it's merely possible. the problem is that we have been "dormant" before but it was not like this. i remember when lo got into an argument with someone and ended up feeling forced to admit avie and i weren't real. we were both betrayed and hurt by that so we stopped talking or doing anything for a while. when lo tried to reach out for us, they would perceive us glaring up at them, but otherwise we were just kind of not there. it's not like we were talking amongst ourselves without them, we were just dissociating mostly, i suppose.
the problem is that we can't reach out to avie at all this time. i have always been connected to him. we have always been connected. i could always call out to him and he would come. we were always ghosts and we were close to death and there doesn't have to be a finality in death if you're a ghost, but there can be. did he feel that he had served his purpose or no longer had a purpose. did the pain of this life remind him too much of the pain of his last. was he just too weak. did i not protect him enough. did i not show him enough love to sustain him. well, i don't think we're being productive anymore.
he is still gone and it's still difficult to talk about. the people we talk to have tried to comfort us. he's probably only sleeping. he's just gone away. he'll definitely be back.
it's not definite. it's merely possible. the problem is that we have been "dormant" before but it was not like this. i remember when lo got into an argument with someone and ended up feeling forced to admit avie and i weren't real. we were both betrayed and hurt by that so we stopped talking or doing anything for a while. when lo tried to reach out for us, they would perceive us glaring up at them, but otherwise we were just kind of not there. it's not like we were talking amongst ourselves without them, we were just dissociating mostly, i suppose.
the problem is that we can't reach out to avie at all this time. i have always been connected to him. we have always been connected. i could always call out to him and he would come. we were always ghosts and we were close to death and there doesn't have to be a finality in death if you're a ghost, but there can be. did he feel that he had served his purpose or no longer had a purpose. did the pain of this life remind him too much of the pain of his last. was he just too weak. did i not protect him enough. did i not show him enough love to sustain him. well, i don't think we're being productive anymore.
