nadia

we went on a hike. lo was hoping it would be another transformative experience, like our trip out east. it was not. we have been very anxious the past few days and that hasn't gone away.

we saw a lot of tiny frogs. that was very nice. we also saw a bee. lo kept pointing to it. "a bee! a bee!" but no one looked. bees are everywhere, of course. whenever we see one we wonder if it's him. they look happy.

i wouldn't want him to come back. not while we're like this. there's nothing for him here, now. we'll heal up, make it better. make a little room for him. and then, wait and see.