Late last year, as the new year was dawning, I received news that made me stop in my tracks: I had to vacate my house in two months.
I loved that house. It represented my first big step as an independent woman – a symbol of the moment I decided to grow my wings and move to the big city. That space represented growth, courage, and a new chapter of my life. While I adored where I lived, I knew there was no time to waste. I had to roll up my sleeves and start the grueling work of house hunting. I had always heard that finding a home in Lilongwe was hectic, but nothing could have prepared me for the “hell” I was about to endure.
I had a simple list of non-negotiables: a kitchen unit, wardrobes—basic essentials, or so I thought. You would be surprised how many people build houses in this city and leave out the most fundamental features.
The first hurdle was the agents. They drained my money. Every agent required a viewing fee, whether you liked the house or not. I’ll never forget one of the first houses I viewed. By then, I had already started “compromising” on my list, even considering places further from work, despite how much I hate being stuck in traffic. But when I arrived, my heart sank.
The “kitchen” was nothing more than a tiny sink tucked into the corner of a dark room. No cupboards, NOTHING. The windows were shattered. The whole house was falling apart. I am convinced they used to keep chickens in the house. I almost cried right there. The agent assured me it would be fixed before I could move in, but I knew it was a lie. All he wanted was his viewing fee and commission and be done with me. House hunting humbled me in ways I never expected.
What made the situation even more frustrating was how ridiculously expensive the house was. In Lilongwe, the demand for housing is extremely high, while the supply is limited. Most of the houses I liked were far beyond my budget. So it became a game of fast fingers – if you hesitated even slightly, a beautiful house posted just an hour earlier would already be taken. Under that immense pressure, I learned the hard way that I had to be quick, and I had to learn where to bend.
This experience led me to reflect on another significant area of life where decisions carry far greater weight. There are areas in life where compromise makes sense, and there are areas where it does not. The choice of a marriage partner is one of those areas that should never involve compromise.
As a woman in her thirties, living in a society where many girls marry as early as eighteen, this journey has not been easy. People don’t make it easy to wait for your perfect partner. The pressure is real. We are constantly reminded of our increasing age and the ticking of our biological clocks. There is also the constant temptation to marry for stability rather than love, particularly in an economy that is not exactly booming, which makes that pressure even more intense. It sounds silly, but when you are under pressure, things like a man having a car or a good job can tempt you to compromise on the person you will have to wake up next to every single day for the rest of your life.
It is so easy to make a mistake if you aren’t careful. That is why it’s vital to have a God who speaks to you; who can tell you to be patient when the world is telling you to hurry up and take the next step of your life already.
As a Christian, I have always believed in praying intentionally for my husband. I wasn’t just praying for a wedding, but I was praying for a partner. I asked God for a man who was a true Christian, not just in name. I prayed for a friend, someone I could genuinely do life with. Someone I can laugh about life with, and someone who believes the same things I believe in.
Yet, the voices around us are loud. People often say you are too picky, that time is running out, and that you should learn to forego certain things and simply settle – whether it is for a house or for marriage. The message is consistent: do not wait too long, or you will miss your chance.
Christian women are often misunderstood in this waiting period. We are labeled difficult, uptight, or even disobedient for not following the advice to “just settle.” But I’ve learned that not every instruction deserves obedience. Sometimes, choosing to wait is the most obedient thing you can do.
Two scriptures carried me through that season of waiting: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”(Jeremiah 29:11), and “Ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.” (John 16:24). I realized that waiting isn’t wasted time; it shapes you. It teaches you that God isn’t withholding good things from you but He is simply writing your perfect story.
House hunting taught me that compromise is sometimes necessary. You can live without certain features for a while. You can adjust and improve a house over time. But you cannot compromise on a life partner. You cannot “renovate” a soul, and you cannot rush God’s timing.
I eventually found a house. It isn’t perfect, but it works. I’ll grow into it, and in time, I’ll make it a home. But more importantly, I found the love of my life.
With that being said, ladies and gentlemen, it is my absolute joy to introduce to you my best friend and the love of my life: Elisha Kaunda.
…I’m not done yet, I also make these cute floating tea cups!
Faith Victoria's Tales 
