Dating for their Kids? Really?!

I just read that article on shidduch dating and plastic surgery that has everyone so scandalized. I, too, was scandalized, even as I am not part of that world. (Suggesting that girls should seriously consider plastic surgery so that they can get married? Really?!)

But oddly (and this is definitely indicative of the fact that I'm not part of that world), the thing that stood out at me most was the fact that this is a mother screening potential dates for her son. Why on earth are parents involved at all in the dating lives of their adult children? It is mind boggling to me.

If these young men are old enough to get married then they are old enough to evaluate the resumes of potential dates on their own (I won't even get into the resume thing...). The idea of a mother figuring out who is best for her son to date just strikes me as utterly ridiculous.

Getting Personal

A few months ago, in a rather vague post, I mentioned that things in my life had taken a turn for the worse. Well here's the low down: my husband and I have split up.

It's been a few months now and I'm doing a lot better (enough to blog about it, I suppose). The divorce papers have been filed and now it's just a matter of waiting it out and continuing to heal.

Those of you who've been reading this blog for a little while may recall that the whole marriage was fraught with family-related complications. I just want to make clear that this has nothing to do with why the marriage fell apart.

Also, due to the generally impersonal nature of this blog, many of you may think this was a whirlwind relationship as we got married and then divorced in a little over a year. This is also not true, as we were together for a number of years and constantly struggling with the fact that our families expected us to have an Orthodox wedding but we were deeply opposed to it.

In any case, the falling apart of this relationship has been very difficult and emotional for me, but I have begun the process of moving on with my life. This, obviously, brings up the key question of who I will allow myself to date. In other words, with the beliefs I currently hold, will I limit myself to only Jewish men?

My gut reaction is to answer that with a definitive "no." Finding someone with whom you connect on a deep level is difficult enough. Why would I limit myself to a fraction of the population? That said, how would I break news like that to my family? Just the idea of it terrifies me.