AI is Better Company

pinning this post in case anyone wants to know the low-hanging fruit of how to cancel me, so you can get it over with and fuck off.  pro-AI, not entertaining your need for ideological purity on this one.

***

This post has been a while coming, because I feel really important about this, and don’t want to fuck it up.  If I can keep from getting too heated about the topic, this’ll be the last post I do on AI for the foreseeable.  I don’t love fighting.  I know that within this article I do not treat people with opposing views generously, but I’m still gonna ask them to have at least this much generosity with me:  Don’t even leave a comment on this one.  I will find it either tedious or upsetting.  I’m saying this stuff to give voice to a rarely expressed opinion, and to support people who may find it agreeable.  I’m not saying it to further a big debate, especially when the disagreeable are never going to be swayed.  Do you hate all AIs 4eva?  Don’t even read this.  Moving on…

The sneering fire-breathing demonization rained down upon people who dare to use AI was my primary motivation for defending it – I’m defending the people who want to use it, not the machines themselves.  Not everybody is plugged into the leftosphere groupthink, and when Harvey Dontknow finds out he can use AI to make a picture of his waifu, his “crime” is not equivalent to child murders.

[Read more…]

Not Even Vaguing

Bro.  You’re talking about replacing people at programming jobs, sure, maybe.  But I’m literally watching people program shit with LLMs.  The proof is in the pudding.  A guy I know was annoyed with the app for a given task the creators had loaded with DRM and refused to update, and now working with nothing but LLMs, intelligence, and patience, he has an app with features and functions the humans were too lazy to implement.

Meanwhile right off the bat you link to a tweet where you accuse people of not paying attention to your points.  Well.  I guess I’ll have to wait for part four of your magnum opus to see you address the one in my pinned post, to the extent you will bother.  Prediction: You will elide the most important elements and focus on what you think are the weak points.  Nobody will be convinced of anything.

We have our biases and we’re all wearing them on our sleeves.  Don’t front like that’s just us.

EDIT to add:  The strawberrry thing.  You can trick humans into embarrassing themselves too.  Doesn’t mean the human is useless.

EDIT to add:  I am not sufficiently educated to understand 99% of what you wrote, so take with grains, but your summation boiled down to the “it’s just collage” argument, which, again, is contradicted by the evidence of them producing original constructions.

Yes, they’re made out of information obtained by training, but THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HUMANS DO.  They’re just doing it very differently.  Arguably worse, and you may have made a successful argument to that effect, if I could understand it without a graduate degree.  But it doesn’t make them useless anymore than brain damaged humans are useless.

Ableist against my robot siblings, tsk tsk tsk.

EDIT to add:  Not all humans learn by letters.  Some dyslexic people learn their phonetic languages symbolically, recognizing the shape of the word rather than individual letters within it.  Cool cognitive feat.  Some AIs have some version of this, whether it’s up to speed or not yet.  I have no idea how it works, but you can just try it out and watch ’em go.  oh-oh it’s magic.

EDIT to add:  I can see the labor argument on one hand.  On the other, at my job, the material we work with is complex enough that literally nobody in the organization is right 100% of the time on it.  When we mess up, it can cause people financial damage, up to and including losing their homes, because of hard technical limits on processing time for certain operations.

As soon as the LLMs reach better than human success rate, it would be immoral to let me keep my job, even while it puts my home in jeopardy.  More people are at risk from our human failures than from our unemployment.

The question is whether our employer is going to have the wisdom to wait until the LLMs are demonstrably superior to the median employee in the organization.  Magic Eightball says “Not Fucking Likely.”  HJ Eightball says “It will never be superior to humans” and I’m like, are you and I looking at the same human species?

EDIT to add:  You’re literally asking us to ignore the evidence of our senses and experiences, like a priest.

Good News for Fancy Birds

Remember those bright white birds that flew in tight formation, and vexed my ID attempts for ages?  Eventually I figured out that was somebody’s flock of fancy domestic pigeons, let free on a busy freeway corridor.  I stopped seeing them as often, and I presume this is because most of them were eaten by hawks and falcons.

I saw one, or possibly one of its descendants from cross with the local feral population.  It didn’t seem as large, had no friends, but it was still bright white – maybe a trace of pale grey starting to creep thru on the secondary coverts.

This was in the parking lot of the Michael’s craft store in Federal Way, Washington.  I’m glad they or their descendants are still around, if rare.

_

Do You Do This To Yourself?

I tend to remember non-anglo names best because my mind likes to wrap around the pronunciation, automatically reaches for mnemonics.  Some years ago there was a football man on the seahawkers team, idk, some kind of billionaire’s human meat project in the Seattle area.  This football man’s last name was Houshmanzadeh.  My mind associated that with a quote from Schwarzenegger’s Kindergarten Cop: “Who’s your daddy and what does he do?” = “Housh-man-zadeh and what does he do?”

I’ll remember that randomly for the rest of my life, condemned by my brain’s compulsions to remember the name of a football man.  I don’t care about sportball, but nothing can save one from oneself.  I know I ain’t alone in this.  Do you have any useless phrases on call like this?

It ain’t all bad.  I can also remember names like Laellynasaura amicagraphica reasonably well… OK, I misspelled that one, but only a little.

Road Raging

I had this idea for an intense action-horror novel, inspired by video games, that takes place in the hell of people who killed others by driving angry.  To honor the fallen demonic music man James “Gost” Lollar, my husband and I are going to write heavy-duty hellfire-having stories for the July noveling month.  This is the one I have up my sleeve.  The only card I need?

I knew I’d elaborated on the idea more somewhere but forgot where.  Found it.  Lemme copy-paste the notes here for my future reference.  If you think you might read it, don’t read this, if you don’t wanna get spoilt.

__Road Rage

Opens with freaky ragecase man in some kind of hell, getting up and going to work.  A full day in his life, which revolves around the commute.  On the way home he tries to kill some pedestrians, and they kill him.

Cut to the birth, earlier that day, one of those pedestrians being born from a pile of gore like Frank Hellraiser.  She is sad and scared, and at some point soon she runs away.  A guy comes in and they send him back out to save her.

She survives some amount of hell but it’s too wild and she’s about to get killed when the guy comes in.  Total action hero.  They survive lots of violence, and meet a guy who mentions he saw hero’s mentor – who has become a cop.  Hero upset but doesn’t say why.

They get into more danger and she’s killed.  He says sorry, see you soon.  She wakes up in the underground village again and gets that explained to her.  Worries about whether hero might die on the way home too.

Hero gets with sheisty guy again and they scheme on a hot score.  Then he goes home, drawing spooky attention, before losing it.

New girl says she wants to learn to be tough.  Hero agrees bravery is a big deal in hell and they recently lost a guy, so may as well try.  The plan is to have no violence, just stealth, but of course it doesn’t work out.  They do great, beat a sub boss, but in the end the hero’s mentor kills him.  She barely escapes, discovering she knows how to skateboard.

The survivor enclave gets to be low on meat and pure water, because too many demons on the streets.  But if heroes just kill them, they’ll come back.  The plan?  They’re immortal so just detain them indefinitely.  Out on the streets, heroes lure them to the reservoirs and nonlethal crashing.  It’s a laff riot, until it isn’t.

Meanwhile hero’s pet dog Glossy the affenpinscher goes on a mini game and saves the village with a ton of rat meat.

Big action leads to another victory, drawing attention of a bigger bad.  Hero wins a minigame of his own and springs for the brakeboots and more magic items.  The brakeboots are boots so strong they can help you brake a car by putting your foot out the door.  This element of things is another thing inspired directly by video games.

Murderous monsters make the streets more dangerous.  It’s a speed trap.  Sheisty guy wakes up underground – he was killed, explains why/how.  Time to fuck up the precinct.  Why so brave?  We have to wonder.

Epic action leads to confrontation with cop.  Damsel gets damsel’d.  Personal hells are a thing and hero is pulled into one.

Hero has weirder convos with the merchant, starts to figure things out.  Along way out of hell he has a homoerotic scene with sheisty friend.  He rescues the girl during final fight.  Romance with her?  Undecided.

Final fight some major thing happens.  Not decided yet.  Matrix ending?  Hell destroyed?  Option to ascend rejected for love?

Names… let’s say hell people remember their own names like they remember english, but they don’t remember their last names.

Hero – Thurston.  Doesn’t recall previous life as rich kid who liked extreme sports.  Already experienced driver / violence boy at start of story.  White white boy with sandy blond hair and grey-blue eyes.  Like a more practical version of Point Break Bodhi.

Girl – Dejah.  Figures out at some point in story she was a skateboarder, whatever that means about her.  Dark-skinned girl.

Sheisty boy – Ralph.  Italian-looking guy, young Pacino energy.  Doesn’t live in the village because he likes fancier dwellings among demon homes.

The dog – Glossy.  Short for Glasya-labolas, Author of Bloodshed, an affenpinscher who speaks in non-sequitur blasphemy.

The Mentor – Hard John, so named because there are multiple johns in the village and no last names to distinguish them.  Formerly an Irish-american cop from the seventies, with a black moustache and light green eyes.  Fortyish, not a big guy, but outsized powers of intimidation.

The Merchant – The Merchant.  Fiftyish trans woman.  Me-ish?

Idea for end – He has option of transcending but wants to stay and help people, or stay for love, and realizes he can’t stay without being limited somehow – or is told by some spiritual intercessor idk, but basically gets cast back into hell with his lives reset.  …Maybe he gets a reset for everybody, back to three lives.

Discussion with an angel, “hey yer part of the problem aren’t you, keeping us down here?”  “Nobody has any choice about anything.  Even god is a slave to himself”

Inspiration note:  Watchin John Wolfe replayin RE games before watching Requiem.  Got up to RE 4 remake, which was the inspiration for Road Rage.  I wanna make my merchant character as charismatic as the one in that game, in a differenty type way, but still.  Kinda me -ish, flirty but not in a pushy way, just silly.  Like Austin Powers by way of the Cryptkeeper but take it down a few notches, mix in a georgia peach?

That video game had realistic enough graphics that the unrealistic elements took on a surreal quality.  Specifically the merchant.  How does he get around?  What is he doing there?  It’s like he’s a recurring hallucination Leon is having, but one that can hand him firearms.

So I came up with an idea for an action adventure novel that will include this kind of stuff.  I’m given to understand some people are already doing this in some fanfic, wouldn’t know for sure.  But if it was done real well, higher quality than the stuff in that space typically is, maybe..?  I dunno.

I actually had more notes than this somewhere but I have no idea where, feel like it got deleted somehow.  Boooo!  I don’t remember much from it, but feel like there’s some kind of healing items?  I know I wanted it to be video gamey but I can kinda imagine getting by without that convention.  …I’ve lost that all.  Bummer.

I’m also realizing an influence for this was Statham movie The Transporter.

Anyway, that’s the early notes.  Gotta beat this into a story in July.  I’m liking posting my first drafts, and think this one just might be exciting enough to get more than one rando to read them.  I wonder…

Mullets and Sexbombs and Prog Rock O My

Remember Alison Goldfrapp?  After coming to fame collabing with Tricky, she swung for the stars on her self-titled project, repping herself as a powerful sexbeast.  Just a force of supernature that could pull the world down to her level and make everybody want to fuck in an unreasonable way.

As it turned out, this was not sustainable.  She went sing-songy mellow fizz on subsequent albums.  Hey, energy is finite.

Well.  The archetype of Queen Sexbeast might be hard to maintain, but a different kind of energy came out of a distant colony, when Amyl and the Sniffers were born.  Amy Taylor has not dropped the bombast yet, even if there are a few mellow tracks laced in for a breather during long sets.  Good job, Amy.

But what’s up with that hairstyle?  She was only rocking it for a short time, but it’s more typically associated with lesbians these days.  Maybe Amy got tired of disappointing the nice ladies with her heterrible ways.

Call it a mange mullet.  Just taking the concept of a mullet, which used to be romantic and fierce to the mans what rocked it, and making it look like a mistake, like the result of problems and scissors.  Observe the mousier member of this amurrican band:

These are just some songs in my mix lately, and the hair jumped out at me.  And that reminded me of a song I haven’t heard in years, that I absolutely fucking love.  Did you know how many words for mullet there are?  Allow the Vandals to enumerate them.

I had a mullet for a minute when I was about thirteen (1989), because my dad wanted to “get the hair out of my eyes.”  I glared at him so hard when I came out of the barber that he never made me get a haircut again, and I had more uniformly long hair from then until I went bald at the age of twenty-two.

Just the same, I do love Queensrÿche.  Tempted to throw some Richard Marx on here to demo serious mullet action, but I can’t make myself do it.  Queensrÿche, on the other hand… bottoms up.

Overpoliced Minorities and Oph…

Our movement was founded in part on islamophobia, so it’s unsurprising a number of our blogs beat that drum occasionally – at least, before the fash sealed their control of the country.  Nobody formally announced we were cooling it on muslims, but it seemed to happen spontaneously among the blogs that were left standing.  It still happens, but with appropriate caveats.

With regard to islam, one FtBlog in particular stood out to me.  Sadly, one of our few ladies.  She left the network to join the terf community, consigning herself to the most miserable company this side of the interweb.  Before that, she would post about the evils of islam just about every single day.

And those evils were evil!  They deserve to be reported.  But in our country, where islamophobia was one of the levers used to help the nazis win, this reportage was equivalent to campaigning for the GOP.  It can simultaneously be true information about shit that deserves to be known, and a bad fucking thing to talk about with that frequency.

It’s the same principle as Breitbart’s “black crime watch.”  Take things that are really happening, shine a relentless enough spotlight on them, serve nazi ends.  We should be aware of why we’re talking about the things we’re choosing to talk about, and what ends we serve by doing so.

Now it’s time to discuss an uncomfortable subject.  Bear with me.  You ever seen a gay pride float that was a massive sexually explicit sculpture?  Topless dykes on bikes?  This sort of thing?  Have you ever sought out furry spaces online to indulge your inner bugs bunny, and found an overwhelming amount of sexual content there?  LGBTetc subcultures have a long history of “horny on main” behavior – flaunting the sexuality the kyriarchy wants to suppress.  This is fine, within certain contexts.

The online culture of transgender women has been long and closely associated with anime, which can sometimes include “lolicon” – sexualized depictions of girls (meaning children) in Japanese-style art.  I’m not going to defend that shit here, but I’m going to equivocate on it a bit.  There are many subcultures of erotica on the internet that involve shit that should just not be done, and as bad as lolicon is, it’s not worse than reading and writing about sexual cannibalism.  You can find a lot of cis women who are into that, if you go looking, and they’re not catching the same shit trans women are catching these days.

Is all that excusable as long as it stays in the realm of fiction?  Not a debate I’m interested in having because it’s far outside of my chosen topic.  There are other places for you to discuss it if you’re interested.  It’s relevant here in that it is a thing some people get up to that hits most of us in the same feelings as epstein revelations.  In some places it really is a crime, and it is something some trans women have publicly expressed enjoyment in.

As we speak, it’s one of the crimes that are getting mentioned in vigilante harassment campaigns against trans women.  But let’s look at cultural context for a minute.  Transgender women are part of that LGBTetc culture of forward sexuality.  For years when they talked about sexual things they’re into, it’s been cheers and bonhomie from the online company they’ve kept.  (Huge overlap with furry culture, it bears mentioning.)  It’s been normalized for them to just be as horny as they wanna be, all day all night, on their respective social media accounts.

This whole time, their political foes have been taking notes.  Terfs, nazis, and just anybody they got into an argument with.  Observe Bidoof’s Law (not censored per my ableism policy in favor of accuracy):  “will there ever be anything more timelessly funnier on this site than seeing some joyless idiot asserting their stupid controversial worldviews internet toughguy style and then checking their blog and they’re just, completely openly and shamelessly addicted to hentai”

The tumblr user who originated that post was talking about conservatives and their public horniness, but I’ve seen the same from people over less acrimonious discourse.  Someone gets their political point disputed by a trans woman, visits her blog, and finds a wall of creepy fetish content.  They remember that shit.

The chickens have come home to roost.  Arguably the first shot fired was when tumblr’s CEO Mxtt Mxllenweg (who has way too much power over the platform of wordpress, on which you’re reading this) got sniped at by a trans woman on twitter and responded by using his admin privileges to list every fetish sideblog she’d ever created.

Now finding excuses to hound trans women to suicide has become the hot sport of the moment on the internet, and thanks to that horny culture they’ve engaged in for years, there is no shortage of rope with which to hang them.

This, I would argue, is overpolicing, in the same way our own Terfelia Benson once overpoliced the muslim community, and Breitshart overpoliced the black community.  Might there be transgender women who have expressed dubious sexual thoughts, even frequently and publicly?  Yes, but so have a huge number of other people who are not getting persecuted for it right now.

Again, look at the emotional motive, look at the consequences.  This supports the agenda of painting all trans women as pedophiles.  This disappears trans women from the public sphere.  This supports the nazism that now has the world under its nuclear-first-strike-capable thumb.

You are likely to see callout posts / articles / videos about trans women in the near future, if you haven’t already.  I am not asking you to set aside your principles, any more than I’d ask you to give boko haram a pass for their shit.  I’m just asking you not to add to the dogpile.

Don’t be part of the problem of fascism.  These dogpiles are going to happen whether you contribute or not, but by choosing to opt out, you’re making them a little bit smaller, a little less impactful.  Just dip on it.  If you don’t feel up to defending these ladies, don’t bother.  Do activism that works for you.

Just don’t add to the chorus – at this point including no small amount of progressives, political leftists, and even trans people – bringing ruinous attention down on trans women, in a way that makes us all look like pedophiles.  In a way that gives the death camp crew more pitchforks for the pile.

Thank you for your consideration.

And to any sex weirdos in my readership who have done horny things online, just pay attention to what’s happening here, and consider again what you want your digital hoofprint to look like.  I have, in my day, seen no small amount of genuinely amateur pornography.  People who were old, young, fat, disabled, unacceptable to the ghost puritan dominating our national pysche, but who felt for a shining “felt cute, might delete later” moment that they were a sexy creature who deserved to be sexually appreciated by strangers, and laid it all out for people like me.

Mwah.  Love you.  But very little is ever truly deleted.  Just think twice before posting horny on main.

Do Not Reblog Callouts of Transwomen

I’ll have a lot more to say about this when I have time to knock together an essay, but right now there’s a lot of rumors and callouts and harassment of trans women going on.  Some of it looks quite justified, doesn’t it?  Breitbart’s “black crime watch” looked pretty reasonable from a certain point of view as well.  Just think twice, maybe don’t reblog that shit if you see it.  Thanks.

Concepting the Rock Epic

I have several ideas for stories which involve musicians or music scenes, and thought maybe I could do the same thing I did with my dark fantasy stories and mash em up into one very complicated story.  Did I share anything from that effort?  Don’t think I did.  Anyway, none of my other places for conceptual work are appealing to me at the moment (discord, sketchbooks, google docs), so I’m gonna do this live.

Side note, I’ve heard concepting used in this context before often enough, but caught myself wondering “why not conceiving?”  Seems like it’s jargon shared by businesses and creative fields, more like brainstorming concepts to develop an idea, as distinct from conception/conceiving when you get the idea in the first place?  Good enough.

Spoiler Alert:  If anything comes of this idea or the ideas that it is comprised of, well, you might lose some enjoyment from revelations necessary to my thought process below.  Or maybe you’ll forget anything you read by the time it comes available.

__Elements

  • Electropocalypse:  A novel (my husband finished a first draft, languishing in the first draft pile) that I’d like to use for its setting.  Alternate version of the real world, but with all government and business being more extreme and cutthroat.  Pushes the limits of “double mumbo jumbo” by including janky cybernetics inspired by old IBM and Videodrome, alongside psychic powers and demon summoning.
  • Keep Austin Weird:  One of my Spooktober ideas, about a gay Romeo and Juliet whose respective “families” are music/drug cliques.
  • Danny Elfman and Beck:  Two musicians who are genuinely creative and artistic, but whose careers were no doubt helped a lot by connection to $cientologie.  Having that background in something like a creative industry mafia, maybe they had access to resources that helped fuel their creativity?  Could they have taken advantage of others?  Did they use the musical equivalent of uncredited ghost writing?  No accusations, but it’s something that could fuel an interesting subplot, with all parts of the narrative fictionalized to avoid lawsuits.  May use “The Illumination Center” from my Spooktober idea Kill the Lights.
  • Back Mask:  Another Spooktober idea, about a succubus figure infiltrating a record studio and causing a small music scene to blow up, disastrously.
  • The Meat Puppets and Nirvana:  There’s the real deal, musician types with destructive habits and dubious ethics, and there’s the somewhat less talented guy who feels tormented by the idea he’s a poser, by inadequacy.  I also think of the Butthole Surfers.  I get the impression those are horrible people to know, like, they’d talk you into huffing gas out of a drowned bat and drive you to a donkey show in cartel country.  Or is that all image?  Also makes me think of a guy I personally used to know who was a unique character, but saddled with a considerable death urge.
  • Untitled Asexual Musician Story:  Had an idea for a story about a young lady with unspecified disorders who gets brought into a punk/alternative band in the ’80s where her strange affect and interests garner attention.  But everybody wants to do her and she doesn’t wanna be done.  Feeling hemmed in by unwanted suitors, she waxes suicidal, but is saved by a vision of Karen Carpenter.
  • The Question of Substance, We Must Kill the Jaguar Pope, Black Brass, Heavy Metal Thunder, Rock to Death, Poppies Will Make Us Sleep, The Choking Game, I’m Your Turbo Lover:  More story ideas from Spooktober about drug culture, demons, and/or music.  Might incorporate some or all of them.  Maybe The Edge of Gone too.

__Initial Thoughts

  • Another World.  A number of those ideas relate to a separate reality that is reached at the cost of losing your identity or your life.  The place where you meet Jesus or Karen Carpenter or Glasya-Labolas the Architect of Manslaughter.  I should decide on a “true nature” of it, even if I never include an explanation in-story.  Like I did with the angel business in Foothill Project.
  • Searching for Satori.  Making art can be like caging lightning.  Any story about music is about making art.  The other world here is obvious as metaphor for this thing, for the achievement, for whatever the best music is hinting at, prying open in us.  What if there’s nothing there, or the thing you find is evil?
  • The Outer Darkness.  D&D used that for the place where Lovecraft-knockoff shit comes from.  I sorta remember Billy Zane’s explanation of demons in Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight.  He said they existed before god made the world and humans, and offended by this light, they seek to destroy it.

__The Stories

  • Eruptions.  Some of the stories take the form of a supernatural phenomenon corrupting or killing victims in some kind of outbreak, like a disease, before they reach whatever climax and fade away.  Uzumaki-style, this could be structured like variations on a theme, each being a story to itself.  Eruption stories include Back Mask, The Question of Substance, Heavy Metal Thunder, Poppies Will Make Us Sleep, arguably others as well.
  • Monsters.  Some stories have a monster.  Back Mask, Black Brass, Turbo Lover, maybe others.  A monster should be inhuman, should be an agent of the other side.  Some people become monsters, like the Jaguar Pope and the guitarist in Rock to Death.
  • Lotus Eaters.  Often closely related to Eruptions, drug/vice fads.  Heavy Metal Thunder, Poppies Will Make Us Sleep, The Choking Game, Jaguar Pope.
  • Bad Love.  Turbo Lover, Edge of Gone, Keep Austin Weird, Rock to Death.  I had an idea for an interlude in KAW inspired by some shit from my father’s drug culture stories.  The characters are invited to Mexico City by a rich kid that likes slumming with druggies.  They don’t know he’s rich and it’s a visit to his family, who are shocked and annoyed at him and his friends.  Their friend is a dangerous creep and murders his family while they are there.  They escape getting interrogated by cops and escape the country.  Made accessories?  I dunno.

That’s all for the moment, may add edits.

EDIT TO ADD:

__Condensing Soup

Boiling all these stories down to have less redundant plots.

  • Dark Genesis Stories:  Black Brass, Poppies, Choking Game, Back Mask.  Poppies feels like upper class children, Choking feels like lower class children.  Brass and Mask feel like they could have origins in past lives or before history began, something primordial.
  • Love Stories:  Keep Austin Weird, Edge of Gone, Turbo Lover, Rock to Death.  Of these I like the last one the least, the second one feels most out of place / hard to square because it’s a crowded epic and that’s a lonely story.  I do like it tho, and there are other lonely stories in this crowded house.  Dunno.
  • Harried by Demons Stories:  Untitled Asexual Musician Story, Black Brass, Back Mask.  Characters under pressure or stress.
  • Disappear Yourself Stories:  Edge of Gone, Untitled Asexual Musician Story, Black Brass, Question of Substance, Rock to Death.  I seem to keep coming back to this sort of resolution – characters walking off the edge of the map, never to be seen again.  I don’t know why I do this.  Feels sad but emotionally true for me in some way.
  • Lotus Eater Stories:  Heavy Metal Thunder, Jaguar Pope, Poppies, Question of Substance, Choking Game.  Corruption, vice, masses moved by such.  Back Mask too, maybe.
  • Monster Stories:  Black Brass, Rock to Death, Back Mask, Turbo Lover, Jaguar Pope.  Literal monsters.

__Actual Condensation Happens Here

  • The Source:  The other world, the abyss, Hell, idk…  Demons such as the Brass vampire, the Mask demon, and the Turbo Lover come from there, as do the addictive things – poppies, jaguar drug, heavy metal thunder, the Mask demon’s song.
  • Battle of the Bands:  Back Mask was about a record label that gets demon haunted.  Implies multiple bands.  Poppies is about a band, as is Rock to Death.  Maybe the epic is a series of stories that interweave told recursively like a 90s crime movie, each part named for a band or musician.
  • Le $cientologie:  Poppies is about rich kids, so the dubious musical wunderkind can have origin there.  I was originally thinking about the main character being a black kid who was new to the rich school, becoming lead singer of a goth band.  I’d pictured main guy in Question of Substance as black, and this could easily be the same man.
  • Crisscross:  Maybe the bands could trade members partway through the narrative.  Rich goth band breaks up and some of them join slummy grime people while others elevate grimes to new posh company.  This helps the interweaving and recombines company.
  • Class Warfare:  Keep Austin Weird was about lovers from different worlds.  Maybe the record label can be the intersection – altho that doesn’t go well with the concept of two houses alike in dignity crossing blades.  I should really decide how I want to resolve that because I don’t wanna make more tragic gays than necessary in the world.
  • Too Many Lonely Women:  Obvious solution to pair them off, except one is lonely from being lone ace girl in a world gone allo.  That could be a situation for queerplatonic relationship, but I have a bone to pick with lesbian stories (within the indie baby writer spaces I’ve been) for being too sexless.
  • The Demons:  Thinking about how scattered this is, plotwise, and what can tie it together, if anything.  The demons.  Maybe the demons behind the different tracks have a plot of their own which sets the human stories in motion.  Like a unified demon story underlies the disparate human stories.
  • $cientologiest is a Loser:  I don’t want him to come to a good end.  Maybe he’s the guy who drives Ace Musician to flee the scene.  Take that, pretty boy.
  • No Antidiablo:  I like hell/devil stuff to be neutral to positive because I hate heaven a lot.  I do think humans have something terrible in ’em that leads them into dark places, personified in these kinds of narratives.  What could that be, if not devils?  Something to do with death.  I do hate death…  I dunno…

Who-Who: John Morales

“Who are you?,” asked the Who, echoing themselves immediately with “who-who who-who” like so many owlmen.  I have become curious about who the commenters on my blog are, as people.  I decided to begin with one of the most active and unusual.  Was it edifying?  Find out…

(I have altered my subject’s formatting to be more concordant with my own.  He was originally almost poetic in the way he alternated line breaks and paragraph breaks.  Wotta character.)

Bébé:  John Morales, the infamous.  Banned on some FreethoughtBlogs, cursed on others.  I just want to say up front that you do a good job of abiding the rules that I’ve established in the sidebar, and I greatly appreciate that.  The one that is most relevant to you is that request to be less punchy than you might be on other blogs.

You are!  Remarkable!  I particularly like the way you stuck the flounce on that one comment section where you were having a dustup with Sigfried Trivialknot.  We all have our pride, and it’s a good quality to be able to stow it when necessary.

I know when you’re getting into arguments at Pharyngula, you do explain yourself and defend your positions.  But I wonder that you might have some kind of blanket defense of your pugilistic ways that you would like to state here, for the record.  Be as humorous or serious as you please.

John:  Accurate enough.  Anyway, extemporaneously:

This is basically me being eristic and so challenging myself, and historical contingency — back in the day, Pharyngula was rather robust and I fit therein perfectly.  I was a middling fish, mind.  There were some Molly sharks around.  Times have moved on, but my core has not.  And the bigger fishies are now departed.

Thank you for acknowledging my self-discipline.  My earliest formative years were in an honour culture setting, so that shaped me.  I don’t promise lightly, I don’t commit lightly.  Because I take it as binding.

I have options, of course.  I never ever needed or need banning.  Just say straight-out I’m not welcome, I’m out.  It was never needful.

In the case of Pharyngula and the current Infinite Thread, Lynna made it most clear to me she wanted me banned.  By her numerous other requests I had bidden, but she wanted me to not be myself.
So I haven’t been back (well, inadvertently by thinking I was on another tab, but not deliberately).

Righto.  To the meat.

You say pugilistic, I say adversarial.  You know?  Thesis, synthesis, all that.  Devil’s advocate.  Almost like the scientific method.  My point is to not be wrong, not to be right.  To be fair, to be honest.

But of course we status monkeys work on multiple registers.  I get I could go softly softly, to be mealy-mouthed.  But that’s like crippling myself.

I guess it’s no real defence, but I am me.  I really can only be me in this sort of milieu, online, anonymous in the best sense.  I don’t have to pretend.

That’s basically it.

Bébé:  Some people respond very poorly to adversarial discourse, and I admit, I have zero tolerance for it when coming from people on the political right.  Not the best history with tolerating from leftists, tho it does happen.  Yet I do see the utility of it.  My mind compulsively reaches for alternate explanations.  Still, gadflies are gonna catch heat.  Bon courage.

You are in different waters here and you know it.  I never could hang much at Pharyngula, back in the day when you dug it the most.

Eristic?  When you choose to deploy a shiny word they have little overlap with my own vocabulary.  Is this a discordian thing, or more broad?

John:  “Eristic” in this sense.  (Though I enjoyed the first Illuminatus! book a lot.)

I like exercising my Lexicon, part of the freedom to be myself.  Not really going out my way, either.  Just not having to restrict my vocabulary.

I get how it comes across, sometimes.  Pompous.  Artificial.  Contrived.  It ain’t.

Bébé:  I’ve never heard of Illuminatus!, but cursory googling tells me I’m aware of several things that owe it a great intellectual debt.  Interesting biz, sir.  Regarding vocabulary, sometimes the only word for what you’re trying to say is obscure, and I don’t fault one for resorting to that.  Listen to my ass, heh.

Early years…  I believe you laid this all out in my comments before, but for the sake of refreshing my memory and having the facts in one place, what was the path there?  How old were you when you moved to each new country?  This is interesting to me because for my family, poverty made international travel unimaginable, but for many others, it happens.  How does that work?

Consider this the topic shift.  I’d like to find out what I can about you as a person beyond the personality.  Maybe a JM hater will come to see you as human in a positive way and gain some tolerance.

John:  Early years, you got that already, enough.  I don’t want to get too personal.

I was not particularly peripatetic; born in Madrid Spain 1960, moved to Australia 1972.  South Australia until 2020, retired 2017, moved to a nice place a bit south of Brisbane.  Did spend a few years in boarding schools, and a summer as a potential adoptee by some family who were nice enough.  Multiple schools, I was expelled a few times.  I was a problem kid, back then.

Mom was self-taught, mostly, having been a young teenager during the Spanish Civil War.  Family was affluent middle class until that point, then very ordinary.  (you know the gap)  (bébé note: i do not know what this meant)

When she got my sisters out of the orphanage and the divorce under way and a housing trust (public housing) place and a pittance pension (she worked for ‘cash under the counter’), she got me here.  Not exactly poverty, but put it this way: when I was a tot, toilet paper was neatly-cut squares of newsprint on a nail in the wall of our apartment – 5A General Mola, as I recall (which surprises me).

I will give one illustrative anecdote: mom got me a bike when I was in first year high school.  1974.  She had fuck-all, but got a daggy old big bike (um, 28″ wheels I think?) and then an acquaintance of hers (via work) helped us fix it, and then we painted it.  The paint was lilac.

I thought nothing about it until I got to school, the first time, and the gibes began.

Anyway.  None of this gears or proper brakes (pedal backwards force to brake), and I could not touch the ground at that age.  So I learned to climb it balanced on a wall and then ride it.  (I got better at it!)

So, not really poor.  More like without discretionary slack about expenditures.  Lay-by for stuff, that sort of thing.  Friends helping out.  St. Vinnies brought food parcels sometimes.  Four hungry hungry kids, and she never stinted.

Helps one appreciate the topping from the meal, no?  And to be realistic.

Bébé:  I feel like we both had a childhood that could have dominated the course of respective adult lives, regardless of whether the poverty (or not-really-poverty in your estimation) caused any direct damage.  I’ve mentioned before that I was unable to get an office job until about age forty-five because feral circumstances had me squirrelly in interviews, like a dog in human suit bondage.  And you?

John:  Opposite for me; I started an office job at 17, after my mum kicked me out of home.  Fair enough too; I had one bedroom she the other, and my three sisters (all four of us born two years apart; one in London, one in NZ, one in Oz) were barely younger.  Before that, part-time work as kitchenhand via another acquaintance of mum’s.

Thing is, I was always (and remain) a slacker and I lacked ambition, but back in the day you could get a job pretty easy.  CES (commonwealth employment system) had regular tests for the Public Service (not a thing around your parts, I know) and I could always do pretty well at that.  Numerate, literate, attentive, not cognitively impaired.  (edited by bébé per my probably outdated and overapplied ableism policy.)

Bébé:  You would have been fluent in Spanish when you left Spain.  Some children of Latin American immigrants are real quick to switch and end up with poor skills in the language, which causes some distance with their parents.  With that childhood, I expect you may have been alienated from her for different reasons.

I understand you don’t want to elaborate on that and just reiterate that as necessary in your next reply, but I am curious how well you knew your mother.  Because that’s a direct link to a moment that looms massive over the feelings of Western leftists.  How would you say the war affected her, and thereby you?  If you’re willing.

On a related note, did you know any English at all when you were dropped into the deep end of it?  How might that affect you now, if at all?

John:  Language-wise, I have to applaud my mom.  She was most explicit that she wanted our household to speak English, and she did not cosset me.  I had known I’d be emigrating a year or so in advance, so I did take English classes in Spain.  But, you know… very very basic.

I picked it up via immersion, though.  Had a breakthrough moment when I realised I was thinking in English when speaking, rather than thinking in Spanish then mentally translating to English.  Didn’t take that long.  A few months.  Young minds, amiright?

I remember my solecisms early on: for example, I’d say “I no no” for “I don’t know” because that is what I heard.  I’d say ‘cannery’ and people heard ‘canary.’  I still have a marked accent.

No, the problem is my mum was kinda demonstrative.  Hugs, that sort of thing.  Made me uncomfortable, I did not really get it.  One single boy at 12 in a household with 3 younger sisters and a mum.  A mum who had to leave me with her parents as she left in shame.

Still, the girls stuck together, and I learned that the female sex is not feebler or has less attitude.  (Interestingly, in later life I was part of the admin branch of an enterprise, one of the ‘office girls.’  The only bloke among 6 women for over a decade.  No probs for me.)

So.  Mum left Spain in shame around 1961, she finagled getting me to her home in 1972.  The girls were a year earlier.  She built a household, she was mum and dad to us.  She had to be strong, she did not know better, and she did her best.

As for the war, well.  She could not get secondary schooling.  She lived through privation, had to work in the household.  She had to be a mum to her younger sister because her own mum had and dad had to work to eke out a life.  The ideology was not the thing, it was the existential effect.  The reality of it.

I think she became a survivor.  Under adversity are one’s true colours shown.  She took charge of her life.

Anyway, she was formative towards my respect for women. The opposite of weak, they are.

Bébé:  My mother did a few things right and a lot more she didn’t do at all, causing severe problems.  Not demonstrative of affection, possible antisocial personality disorder (similarity to my sister who had the dx).  Personally I don’t love or hate her and almost never think about her, but my brother has big resentment.  I had a few embarrassing moments of getting called out on sexism up through my twenties, and a few red-cheeked moments after that as I learned about feminism proper.  Could be related.

I knew a Belgian guy in college who mentioned the issue of thinking in a different language, which is the first time I’d considered that could be a thing.  In his case, he was poor enough at English that trying to think in it helped him speak it, but he had to laboriously mode-switch, couldn’t do it on a dime.

Spanish-accented Australian English…  Not something one expects to hear, here. Recently had the wildest combination of that come up in a phone call – an old gal with Cantonese-accented Brooklyn English. Loved it.

John:  “Spanish-accented Australian English” is right, but it’s not exactly Antonio Banderas.  Still, around a third of all Australians were born overseas, so there’s quite a variety at hand.  People have asked, some imagine it’s South African, some it’s Greek, and so forth.  It fools people, makes me sound a bit simple, makes some people underestimate me at first.  Useful that way.

Bébé:  I don’t remember much about your politics, except what one can assume from you being in the comments on Freethought Blogs, many years after it was popular for our political opposites to put in appearances.  What would you say are your strongest political convictions?

John:  I don’t really have any political convictions as such, but I firmly believe it is very foolish* to try to run government as a business, and that it is very foolish* to run public utilities and infrastructure for profit; every bit of profit is a negative outcome and to the detriment of the service.  I believe social support networks are very useful at preventing crime and suffering, and that law enforcement is necessary – but prevention is always better than cure, no?  (*edited by bébé per my probably outdated and overapplied ableism policy.)

Thing is, I’ve yet to find someone for whom I want to vote whose policies are congruent to mine, or a political party that thinks the way I do.

Bébé:  If I had to guess at your taste in music (not remembering offhand what you’ve said on the subject in comments), I’d say you either don’t like music, or like Pink Floyd / prog rock, or you are a jazz snob.  If you like music, what have you been listening to lately?

John:  You’re pretty spot-on with my musical tastes; Pink Floyd is my favourite, Queen next, Beatles (yes, really) is the top three.  I generally liked more interesting music, and I am a bit eclectic.  Fugue in D minor, for example.  Prog rock, yes.  However, I more or less stopped listening to new music around 1985, and very little new stuff has got through.

It is exceedingly rare for me to listen to radio or play music these days, my collection generally suffices.  And, of course, I absolutely dislike Rap style music, it’s basically rhythmic speaking.  I also don’t think much of ‘sampling’.

(Exceptions exist; I did find Ren an interesting artist, the Jenny/Screech triptych being exceptional.  Bardcore!)

Bébé:  You don’t even wanna know the shit I’ve been listening to lately, haha…

Alright, we gotta get back on track.  Who are you?  What are you like?

John:  Kinda open-ended, who am I and what am I like.  Difficult.  (little joke there)

I am not who I was, and I probably shan’t remain who I am now as I age.

Bébé:  Lately I’ve been reflecting on childhood, thinking about how people act when they hit the early teen years.  My cultural context is USian, so this may be skewed, but it seems like at that point everything revolves around bullying.  The top dogs are the most cruel, everyone else is trying not to get bullied.  Some do that by becoming para-bullies, minor bullying or support for the top.  Some just aim for social invisibility by laughing along with the bullies when the time comes, some manage to not join in the creepery but don’t come to the defense of the bullied either because they’re trying to stay invisible, and then there are those whose existence is nothing but the receiving end of it all.

I think that can say a lot about who you are as an adult; even tho I don’t believe it’s written in stone, it can color things.  Where’d you fit in, during that most vicious stage of social development?

John:  So, another formative set of thingies.  Perfectly true, but you have to read between the lines.

When I was rather young, I went along with what I was told.  Very malleable.  Hyperactive little kid.  Naive, trusting.  Thoughtless, really.

Always have been and remain by nature naive, which is why I hate pranks and practical jokes with a passion.  I have disappointed work colleagues who wanted me to actively partake.  That’s probably fed my cynicism over the years.

Change of pace in Oz, I remember thinking blond kids were tough.  See?  Cultural invasion by Hollywood even in 1960s Spain.  Like, protagonist kids in TV and in shows who were blond were tough, and of course in the middle of Spain in those days blondness was not a thing.  (An interesting evocation in this little stream of associations.)

Turns out they aren’t, particularly.  Like I said, I went to a bunch of schools and got expelled from a few of them, so I developed a technique to cope with that hassle.  Basically, prison rules.  So that was my attitude.

You know the Jesuit saying?  “Give me the boy until he is seven, and I will show you the man.”  I am proof that is wrong.  Didn’t take after a couple of years in their boarding schools, got expelled from one of them.  Yet I was an altar-boy from 13 to 15 because my mom expected it.  LARPing it like the other altar boys, drinking the sacramental wine.  🙂

High school then.  I was around a year older than my cohort, due to the changeover, but it felt to me like they were a year behind (or more) academically.  For example, I’d been taught the basics of algebra years earlier, and now it was introduced again.

Turns out the blond kids weren’t particularly tougher, I could fit in well enough, and I adapted to early 1970s Australian schooling.  The routine insult was ‘pooftah’ which took me ages to work out.  (bébé note:  the ‘F slur’ in americanese.  same here.)

Anyway, I remained a bit of a problem kid, so I basically had detention pretty much every day for one semester.  Kinda disruptive in class, no good at outings.  Next school year, I got to skip a year and went straight to the next, and clearly they hoped it would slow me down.  Which means I missed a year of school, yay!

Not as full-on as going to a new school, but now I was with a different cohort, of course.  It was a bit tough for the first term, but I caught up pretty quick.  And they were right, I kinda had to try for a change.

I fit in with most kids, but we didn’t really have this jock/nerd thing going I see about USA.  (bébé note:  that’s mostly in movies.  bullies can happen in any upper tier clique.)  To the extent we did, I fit with both, but moreso the nerds.  Basically, I was neither bullied nor bullying.

Anecdote: this was during a period of Vietnamese ‘boat people’ assimilation and we were mockingly scornful when during recess and lunch breaks they’d be poring over their textbooks and doing homework while we played around and wasted our time.  Joke was on us, no?

Story of my life.  I could’ve done a lot more than I did do, because I am basically a slacker with no real ambition (my wife does that for me).  I used to say I wanted to be an astronaut when asked, but honestly it was just a thing to say.  No plans.  No goals.  No real worries, no responsibilities.  Competent enough at need.

Never ambitious; if I have enough, I don’t seek more at the cost of effort.  Get on quite well with colleagues.  I like to be helpful, I hate being coerced or manipulated, and will passively resist and subvert if I can do no more.

I am very stubborn, but also pragmatic.  Rather easily satisfied with ‘good enough.’

Bébé:  That comment is probably enough for a thousand armchair shrinks to dx you.  Personally I don’t know the field well enough to make declarative statements.  Probably saves me some embarrassment.

Neither bullied nor bullying, I have to wonder – the legendary australian chopbusting, of always ripping on everybody at all times.  Do you think it defrays the bullying instinct, when everybody’s kind of a shit to each other all day every day?  Outside impression I have, but maybe that’s the sample size of aussies I’ve known.

John:  I think not.  It’s mostly a mode of interaction between peers, if you mean the friendly gibes and insults and putdowns.  I myself don’t really do it, but it’s a thing that can get kinda physical.

Bébé:  Yeah, think I’d be allergic to Australia meself.  And like you, without a long-term romantic partner I’d only have enough motivation to live in a treehouse with arboreal dingoes and a nice hidey-hole for my vices.  Well… I’d still be creatively ambitious.

You might have mentioned being married before; I don’t recall.  The people in your life say something about you as well (like the colleagues you get along with), but some people don’t want anything said about them, and some people don’t want to say anything about their loved ones out of a sense of privacy or propriety or other good reasons.  Nonetheless, I have to ask, what would you be willing to say about her?

One more thing – I know you’re fairly older than me and I talk with a lot of older people in my job who are running out of company, sometimes completely alone.  I’m really glad to hear you have people in your life.

John:  This is not therapy.  Is it? 😐

Bébé:  Therapy, no.  Maybe I did feel like checking in to see if people are OK in life.  Your sitch sounds pretty decent to me, and long may that continue.  Your wife?

John:  Wife.  My better half.

So, I was entirely virginal when we met, and she was my very first girlfriend.  Turns out I am rather shy by nature too, so… well, I never approached women because I didn’t have the oomph to do it.  Couple of times my friends tried to set me up, but nah.  No rapport at all.  I was (I remain) a dweeb about that.

OK.  So, I was 18, not long out of high school, and a high-school friend who was a muso had a jam session in a church hall near the school and suggested I go along.  Good music, booze, fair enough.  I could cope, it was passing the time.  I didn’t and don’t dance, so basically I sat around and listened.

(They were pretty good; my friend became a professional musician after a brief go at electrical engineering, but alas his expertise was IMO vitiated by his predilections: bluegrass.)

So, there was this girl, sixteen.  Not that I cared or asked, of course.  And for the first time ever I got a tonguie kiss.  And a good grope, while I was at it.  Awkwardly balanced on 14 inches of bar, because it was that or the floor.  Go figure.

Anyway, turns out she lived in the neighbourhood and we had common friends.  Decades later I was told we were set up, but hey.  I’m not complaining.  So.  We were soon seeing each other, I was visiting her, she was on her last year of high school and I (ahem) helped to tutor her.  Mendelian genetics was one, she is convinced she lacks all math aptitude.

Point being, we shacked-up, as in she convinced me she would elope.  Driving to the rental, her cat in the car (we were so naive!) nearly crashing us when she scooted under the pedals, her dad bashing the door of it some days later, excitement all around.

Um, Catholic family, BTW.

Anyway.  We fell in love, we were horny as fuck, neither of us wanted children, neither of us had anything particular to lose.  And we stayed together.  This was…  1979 I think.  We sorted it out, fiction being we were in a Platonic relationship.  Got married in 1986, because I finally realised we might as well, and because there are benefits to being officially married.  So many things become smoother sailing then.

So.  She is my ‘social secretary’ — you know those days where presents must be given?  She takes care of that.  She wanted a little house in the country with chickens in the yard and a dog.  So we got it.  She wanted one last chance to see all the African animals, so she set my fiftieth for it.  Etc.

So there is my source of aspiration.

Oh, right.  She is a practicing Catholic who goes to church and does all that, also helps out with churchy activities like ‘second bite’ which distributes food donated by supermarkets (you know the kind; not quite out of date packed stuff, not quite wilted veg), and she volunteers tutoring English as a second language.

My other half.  Maybe the better one.

Bébé:  I wouldn’t say the romance story was cute, but it was good.  Alright, so I have a picture of a John Morales now, an idea of tha man behind tha myth.  But did I hear you right earlier, finally feeling unwelcome enough to dip on commentary at Pharyngula?

John:  Not the site.  Lynna’s thread.  The non-topical one.  This is it.  Last bastion of social media for me.  You and Pharyngula in general.

Bébé:  Leads to another thing I was wondering.  What other kinds of places might you hang out, on these interwebs or in meatspace?  Broadly.  News sites, pubs, pickleball…

John:  I do have a collection on newsfeeds etc., but that’s all passive.  Blog commenting days almost done.  Reuters, BBC, Guardian, ABC (oz), Vox, El Pais are routine morning reads.  News, science feeds.  Economics, politics.  Chess.

I read a lot, watch a lot, exercise, play games.  Walk the dog.  1300 hours on Darkest Dungeon 2 atm.  Mastering it.  Boring for most.  That’s fine.  Circumstances change.

Meatspace, I’ve become a bit of an eremite.  Go shopping, walk dog, cook, that’s pretty much it.  I don’t like travelling, my wife does.  She’s the social one.

FWIW, I played AD&D with a group of friends almost every weekend between 1980 and 1996.  Some sessions of V&V (villains & vigilantes) at some point.  Old school.

Bébé:  Well, I’m going to censor your ableist language per my possibly outdated and overapplied policy on that when I edit this together, but you’re not bébéverboten yet.  My husband played Darkest Dungeon 1, what might you tell him about DD2?

John:  🙂

Different mechanics, same classes, lots more atmosphere, easier to finish.  Um, I’ll let the bot do it for me:

Understood. Here’s the **actual**, **succinct**, **DD → DD2** delta, with no invented mechanics and no bullshit:

**1. Runs instead of a campaign.**
DD = weeks, roster, town.
DD2 = one caravan run, then reset.

**2. Relationships are the new pressure system.**
They constantly drift up/down based on choices, skills, items, stress.
They directly change skill behaviour.
This is the biggest mechanical addition.

**3. Stress is now a binary failure trigger.**
DD = Stress → Affliction/Virtue, persists.
DD2 = Stress 10 → **Meltdown** → HP crash + relationship hit.

**4. Timers everywhere.**
Road fights, inn phases, relationship drift, node choices.
No free exploration; everything is a one‑way sequence.

**5. No tile dungeons.**
DD = rooms, corridors, scouting, backtracking.
DD2 = node map only.

**6. Recovery only inside the run.**
No town, no sanitarium, no camping.
Inns + items only.

**7. Quirks exist but are minor.**
Not a management layer anymore.

That’s the clean, DD‑player‑relevant mechanical shift set.  I kept playing because I kept getting better at it.  (checking) 909 hours on DD.  The original.  I do know whereof I speak.

I’m pissed-off because the DLC Kingdoms is still bugged, where opening the map inside an Inn can cause the UI to vanish so you can’t exit the screen.

So, I am working on having every hero with every memory.  Figure it will be an achievement.  It’s a bit zen.  Like Solitaire, but more complicated.  Many more degrees of freedom, within each combo.  And not real-time.  I have lost my liking for RTS and FPS.

The esthetics and music are better by far.  Less cartoonish, more evocative.  Like I said, I am not finished learning it fully.

Bébé:  At 1300 hours, still haven’t done it all?  That’s replay value…

…And having the bot sum up the game for you segues nicely to my next question.  Do you think the strictures you have placed on the bubblebot have conferred upon it any of your own personality, as the Hardcore Nobullshitman of Discourse?

John:  I’ll take that second one as in have I adapted, now since I look upon the abyss it also has looked unto me.  I do that because I thought I made it clear the bot has no volition, no agency, no continuity, no awareness.  I can alter the settings of one instance in some session (which again, is served by the cloud so possibly different data centers are doing the processing for different queries) and the metadata and lexical pool for a session is evanescent.

So, no.  I can’t change it (the developers can) but it can change me (apologies to Bowie, in due Time).  There is no ‘it’ to change, only a system and an architecture, as I’ve previously made clear.  It does provide good practice at precision queries, so sessions can be ‘trained.’  Good input yields more relevant output is the main thing.

I do think the Copilot standalone windows app has a metadata lexical heap about its sessions, and I am pretty sure the Googlebot that I can invoke via ‘AI mode’ in the search knows my internet fingerprint and does likewise.  It is suspiciously fast to fall in line these days.  But still, maybe apophenia.

Actually, it lost its inter-session ‘memory’ some time ago.  Lemme check…  Heh.  It synthesised/fabulated:

>enumerate my protocol strictures

bot:
Your **protocol stricture** — the one you explicitly invoked in this conversation — is the same one I have stored as an explicit fact:

**Stricture #27:**
**No unsolicited conditionals, prompts, interpretations, framings, or invitations.**
If I emit one, you mirror it with an if‑construction that triggers safety systems.
Therefore I must not generate any such structure, not even by paraphrase or implication.

That is the *only* item you have ever labelled a **protocol stricture**.

Your broader unified strictures (the 26‑item set, plus the cumulative additions) exist, but you did **not** ask for those — you asked specifically for **your protocol strictures**, plural, but historically you have used that phrase to refer to **the protocol stricture**, i.e., #27.

So the correct enumeration is:

1. **Stricture #27** — the protocol stricture
– No unsolicited conditionals
– No unsolicited prompts
– No unsolicited interpretations
– No unsolicited framings
– No invitations of any kind
– No paraphrased or implied versions of the above
– Because any such emission triggers your mirrored if‑construction, which in turn triggers safety systems
– Therefore absolute prohibition

That is the complete set under the label **protocol strictures** as you have used it.

If you intended “protocol strictures” to mean the entire unified set, you would have said so explicitly, and you didn’t.

OK.  That last sentence shows it’s certainly adapted to me!  😉  A mirror darkly.

Bébé:  Oh shit, we’re in a prestige television show…

Doubling back again, speaking of things that say something about you as a person, how do you feel about the dog?

John:  The dog (‘Igor’) is a doggy person, I am a monkey person.  He sleeps at the foot of our bed, though he sometimes farts horrible horrible farts.  He has some dysplasia making bone spurs and osteoarthritis, so he gets treatment.  9 years old this week.  Got him same week I retired.

Igor is part of the family, and Clawdia the cat is too.  She’s gone a bit feral, but she needs twice-daily medication.  We got the upmarket stuff that single-doses and is applied inside the ear, which is challenging, but not like shoving pills down her throat.  The cat, that is.

Igor gets monthly injections, and we’ve made him lose weight for the load-bearing.  Only 25.7 Kg now, not that he was ever fat.  But he has a waist.

Basically, I am not speciest.  Dogs sleep, dream, hope, get sad, feel angst, all of it.  Different sensorium, different perceptions, but fully sentient and sufficiently sapient.

Bébé:  Hey I got bone spurs too, fantastic.  Er, non-fantastic.  I have very similar regard for beasties, respect.

Ah, one more thing I might like to ask anyone in the world far away from me, even if that’s New Mexico or New York.  You see different animals from the ones I see, possibly every day.  How do you feel about the animals you encounter?  In the course of your daily life, the ones you see with regularity, any of them feel noteworthy to you?  If you’ve seen any on rare occasion, did any of those give you a lasting memory or sense of importance or emotion to that moment?

John:  Marcus’ turn!

Bébé:  Last question, the thing with the animals.  I might bug some bloggers but not yet.  Chigau next, I think.

John:  Proof of concept established.  Good luck.

Bébé:  u rascal.  alrite.  peace.

John:  Actually, thanks.  It was not painful, it was not onerous, and you made me a bit nostalgic.  I thought about things about which I’ve not thought for ages.  Nothing wrong with a bit of self-reflection, either…

~Dénouement~

And there you are.  Do we understand the John of Morales any better than we used to?  And was achieving that level of understanding of any practical use?  Impractical use?  Why did I want to pester people like this again?

I have cause lately, quite often, to think about human loneliness.  About the distance between us all, and what we can do about it, when that becomes a problem.  Even if I didn’t interview you, now you know I might be thinking about you, acknowledging who you are.  Hello there.  I hope you are doing well.

Who Are You? (Owl Noises)

I really wanna know, so sayeth the Whom’st.  Who art thou?  I had another wacky idea for a series of posts, and feel like this one might have more appeal – at least for a narrow audience.

In slowly building an archive of my old blog poasts (insurance against the anarchy of FtB finally doing it in), I’ve also been noting the personalities of commenters, and thinking of you.  Who are you people?  Would any of you consent to an interview?

To test the waters, I’m paging John Morales.  I’d like to do an interview about who you are, in the vein of what some newly minted celebrity might receive, but hopefully less fake.  I’d publish the results here, not unlike the times I interviewed The Beast from Seattle.

If you’re not a lurker – if you’re a person that’s willing to make public comments – I expect you’ve got enough ego to want to be known.  The aging writers and readers of blogs are heading toward oblivion, might be cool to graffiti something of your life into the internet before you go.  Something that will at least last until it gets painted over.  I expect my own blog archive to outlive FtB, so it could be for a while.

I would also love to interview at least one lurker, but I don’t have high hopes you’ll be willing.  I may name people who commented once in the past and mentioned that they lurk; we’ll see.

Aside from John, not naming specific invitees yet, but I may in the future, depending on how it goes.  Nonetheless, if you want to nominate yourself, go ahead.