I have a question for you: Have
you ever felt like you needed to talk to someone or get help with an issue
that's getting in the way of the life you want to live? I have. It was 2012 and
I was feeling lost and my mind started to go to some really dark places with
increasing frequency. This wasn't me, so before things got out of hand, I
decided I should talk to someone about it. So, I got on my insurance provider’s
website, looked for a local therapist, and made an appointment with the first
one who could squeeze me in. In retrospect, I probably should have spent more
time evaluating my options because for whatever reason my therapist and I just
didn't click. When I think back on that time, it
occurs to me that I didn't really know what I was looking for. Fast forward to
the end of 2025, when a zine titled One Punk's Guide to Therapy lands in my
P.O. Box. Boy, do I wish I had this back in 2012!
Written by Kurt Morris, a
punk and a social worker currently based in Indiana, the guide offers a ton of
important and useful information including, but not limited to, how to find and
what to look for in a therapist, the different types of therapy that are out
there, how to get the most out of going to therapy, and how to know when it's
time to stop. In fact, this guide is such a valuable resource for people who
may want to go to therapy but aren't sure where to start that I contacted Kurt
and asked if he'd do an interview about it. He was cool enough to say yes, so
on the evening of February 18th, Kurt and I spoke via Zoom.
What you're about to read is an
edited version of that conversation. Admittedly, my questions border the inane,
but Kurt was a true professional and took the time to answer my queries with
straightforwardness and patience. In addition to the guide, we also discuss
how Kurt’s experience of punk and therapy inform one another, and his history
as a writer and reviewer for the punk magazine, Razorcake.
Enjoy the conversation.
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Joe3: Kurt, if I haven't said
so already, thank you for taking the time to do this. I want to start in the
section where you write about when someone should go to therapy and how to find
a therapist. You suggest that people go to therapy when something is getting in
the way of their quality of life. Can you elaborate on that? What kind of
things rise to that level?Kurt Morris: It's
going to be dependent on the individual. It's funny because some people will
say, “My drinking's not a problem.” And then other people will drink once, have
a horrible experience, and feel like that's getting in the way of them living
the way they want to live their life. So, it's really pretty subjective because
our brains are all different, you know? So, what annoys me may not annoy you,
and you may think it's not a big deal.
Okay, so as a sort of part two
to that question, later on in this same section, you say that, if someone
decides therapy is something they’re going to do, you suggest that they have
some idea of what they want to accomplish in therapy. To have some idea of what
their goals are. When I read that, I thought, is someone who's new to therapy
going to have an idea of what their goals should be? Because when I went that
shit never even crossed my mind.
Yeah, I think the two go together,
because if you have an issue that's keeping you from living the way you want to
live your life, I would imagine the primary goal and other things could be
flushed out over time. But the primary goal would be to stop that issue, or to
alleviate that issue or reduce that issue. If you have a problem with anger, you
say “hey, I'm coming to therapy to talk about my anger.” What's my goal? Well,
I want to reduce my anger. I want to learn how to do it in a healthier way.
Okay, so you're just thinking
about goals on a kind of really basic, surface-level, and not something lofty.
It's just like, if this issue made me consider therapy in the first place, then
my goal should be how do I address or cope with it? Okay. A little further on
in the guide, you write, “It’s not the therapist's job to change the
client. It's the therapist's job to help the client change.” That
sentence stopped me in my tracks because I thought, well, wait a minute. The
therapist is the professional here. Aren't I coming to the therapist to be
changed? Aren't I supposed to leave being like, oh, okay, this is where I've
been blown it all this time, or this is where I've been screwing up, or this is
what I wasn't thinking about?
Well, I mean, just right there in
your answer, I feel like that kind of shows that you had that realization.
Something had to happen inside of you to realize that was an issue or made you
realize that was how you needed to change. It has to be a revelation to you.
Having someone just tell you, “here's what you need to do to change,” usually
does not work. So, it has to be you who has the realization that you want to
change and the ways you can change. The therapist's job is to point you
toward resources, and those can even be things within you, like, “I do have the
ability to take a deep breath when I'm really angry and kind of relax a little
bit. I never really thought about that.” Or, “I do have these skills to be able
to get a job. I didn't really think about that before.” Re-framing things.
Therapists can do that, but at the end of the day, if you want to reduce your
anger, then you're going to have to be the one to do it. Like the therapist
can't do it for you, you know?
Right. Okay, so another thing I
wanted to ask about is, you explain the different types of therapy
that are generally available in the guide. How helpful is it for someone new to
therapy to have this kind of information beforehand or up front? I mean, can
you just go to therapy and then maybe figure out this stuff later? Should you
know this going in?
You can. I'm just trying to save
people some time and perhaps some pain and frustration. So, yeah, you can. I
went to therapy for years without knowing most of this. But now looking back,
I'm like, “Oh, yeah, if I would have known this, I could have made more
progress sooner and not be like, beating my head against the wall figuratively
for so many years, being frustrated with things.” If I had known like, “This
maybe would be the type of therapy that would be really beneficial for me” and
I could have found a therapist that specializes in that, then I could have
resolved those issues sooner. At the end of the day, it is what it is and I'm
not angry about it or upset or annoyed, but If I can give some of that kind of
information to someone ahead of time, and then perhaps they can save time in
their lives, that's kind of the goal.
It can't hurt, I think, to have a
little better idea, because there have been some therapists where, looking back
now, I think, “You and I were not on the same page as far as what I needed and
what you offered.” But most of the time, most therapists are so eclectic with
their styles that most of the time it can really be beneficial no matter who
you meet with, but not always.

The therapist that I was
working with, we didn't really click either, and that's where I wanted to go
with my next question. In the section about how to get the most out of therapy,
you know, you talk about the importance of doing the work outside of the
sessions. I get that -- that's just a general rule of life, for me. You know,
you get out of things what you put into them. But later in that section, before
you talk about how to know when it's time to end therapy, you say, “If you
don't feel like a session went well, tell the therapist.” That was another
thing that kind of like stopped me in my tracks because I can think back to
individual sessions I had with my therapist that just felt stupid, and I
thought, boy, that was a giant waste of time. But it never occurred to me to
say, “Hey, therapist, we have got to do something else.” I feel like
people who don’t know a lot about therapy might not be ready to challenge
their doctor about what is or isn't working. What are your thoughts about that?
I understand it can be completely
overwhelming, but I think this is an issue that's pervasive across
our medical and mental health system that people aren't willing to stand up to
their physicians or their therapists or their nurses. As I mentioned later on
in the guide, there is a history of gaslighting of women that they're all
hysterical and that type of thing that went on for centuries. I think we put
mental health clinicians, therapists, doctors, and nurses on these pedestals
because we think they know everything and they don't. I've met a lot of lousy
therapists and as clients or patients we need to be able to stand up and say, “This
isn't working for me. You're not listening to me.” We should do it in a nice
way, of course, but just say, “Hey, what I wanted to work on today was X, but
it didn't really seem like we did that. Instead, we talked a lot about Y or Z,
and I didn't find it helpful. I'm hoping next time when I come in, we could
talk about X, specifically.” Any clinician worth their salt will say, “You know
what, I hear what you're saying. Sorry, we didn't address this the way you
wanted to today. I will do better. We'll make it a point to start our next
session talking about that issue that you want to talk about.” And go from
there. But therapists can't read minds. Clients have some responsibility
to bring these things up too.
Right. I mean, in my case, it
wasn't a situation where I felt like I was like being taken advantage of or
just flat out not listened to, but I would leave some of the sessions and just
feel like, what did we just do for an hour? There was one in particular where
my therapist put me under hypnosis. That experience was awesome. I really liked
being in that state. I felt really calm, but she was asking me things like what
my happy place was. I think she wanted me to pick something like a sun-drenched
beach or a cabin in the woods, but I was having these weird visions
and seeing colors. I was telling her what I was seeing, but she kept asking me,
“What do you see?” and “Who are you there with?” And I would respond, I'm not
there with anybody.... So, after that, I was like, wow, that was a strange
session. But I never thought to say, "No more hypnosis, please."
Anyway,
you brought up discrimination. I don't have a question about that, but I
thought the section on it in the guide was quite thorough, and I
wanted to mention it that it’s in there and is important.
Yeah, when I wrote the guide, I
wanted to talk a little bit about it, but some editors at Razorcake
pushed me to go even further with it, and I'm glad that they did because it was
originally a much smaller section. So, I expanded it and I think it's
important. Like I said in the piece, I could have written a whole guide about
discrimination in mental health, but I had to keep [its length] somewhat
appropriate. So, yeah, I think it's important.
Definitely. Later, toward
the end of the “Becoming a Therapist” section, you write that, over the
years, your view of punk has changed to include radical love for people, and in
the very beginning of the guide, you mention that putting on shows gave you a
foundation for this kind of work. One often hears people who have a punk
background talk about bringing a punk sensibility to their work, so I wanted to
ask, how, in your experience, have punk and therapy informed one another?
I feel like I've met a lot of
people in punk who could use therapy. But I think the big thing that I've been
thinking about lately in regard to punk and therapy is, a lot of punk is just
asking, “Why?” Why are these systems set up this way? Why is there this
injustice, and then, moving on from there, what can we do about it? What are
the ways we can fight back? There's a type of therapy called narrative therapy,
which I mentioned in the guide, that I've been really interested in lately
because the idea with it is that we all have stories we tell ourselves
about our lives, and, unfortunately, a lot of the time those stories don't
put us in the best light. They cause us to think that we're worthless, or we're
dumb, or, we'll always be single or something like that. Narrative therapy asks
us to re-frame these stories that we have about our lives and to reassess
them. I think punk does that too. Punk looks at society and culture and says,
“Why should we accept the status quo?” You look back at the beginning of
straight edge: why is it we always have to default to drinking? Why do we
accept what politicians say? Things like that. I see a lot of parallels with
narrative therapy, so I've been interested a lot more in that type of therapy
with my clients because I see so many people telling themselves stories like “I'm
always going to be a drunk. There's nothing I can do. My family's always
going to hate me.” And it's like, well, why? Where does that come from? Why is
that the standard that you've set up for yourself and how can we change that?
So that's one way I see the two relating to each other. As far as how therapy
affects punk, I feel like therapeutic culture has caused people in punk not to
be so shitty as they probably used to be. I was listening to an interview
with Henry Rollins and him recounting stories from the '80s of skinheads
showing up and people getting in these fights, the police coming out to punk
shows, him getting hit in the face with beer cans and getting cigars put out on
him. That kind of stuff wouldn't, I don't want to say never happen, but it
would be rare for people in punk to treat bands like that, to treat other punks
like that. And so, I think there are a lot of punks that have gone to therapy
and I feel like there is more acceptance within the punk scene. A lot of
those issues aren't seen as much. Not that they're gone, but they’re not
around as much.
Yeah, those stories from the
old days of punk are downright terrifying. I don't know if I would have been in
bands and gone to shows if that's the kind of thing I knew I was in for. I
probably would have gone in a different direction.
Yeah, even in the 90s when I was
going to shows there would be fights. There would be people calling other
people out and shit-talking people in the scene. There would be a lot of drama, but
it wasn't anything like that.
 |
| 18 year-old Kurt singing with Directed Youth. |
I also wanted to ask about your
relationship with Razorcake and ask if your therapy
background filters into some of the things you do for the magazine? Yeah. There's this piece I did ...
I forget what issue number it was. It was somewhere before issue 100. I was the
whole issue. I interviewed four or five different punks about mental health and
then wrote an essay. Normally there's like four, five, or six interviews from
different people with different bands and stuff, but I did the whole
issue. There were columns, obviously, and reviews, and everything, but that was
really cool. That happened because we did a whole issue on trans folks in
punk, and I was like, “Oh, I wonder if we could do something around mental
health and punks.” Todd, the editor, was really up for that. So, yeah, I
definitely am able to bring it to the magazine.
Even in my reviews, I think there
would have been a time when I was writing a review for a book or a zine or
an album where I would have been okay just to shit-talk it. If I didn't like
it, I would have just said nothing but shitty things about it. Now, the
way I look at it is, if there's criticisms, I want to include those, but I
do most of my reviews the same way in that I explain what the thing is,
highlight the positives, and then mention any room for growth. I couch it in
those terms. Not like, "This is stupid or this stinks.” It's more like, "Here's
an area where it could be improved.” I'm critical of things, but not in a
negative way, and that's just because you don't have to be mean. We don't have
to have the Maximum Rock and Roll attitude anymore of “This is stupid and you
suck and this is so dumb.” If something's racist, homophobic, I might go that
route, but over my 21 years of writing reviews for Razorcake, that's
happened like two or three times. So yeah, just trying to be more kind in
a way, but also being critical. That’s another area in Razorcake where I
use my therapeutic skills to offer some ways for improvement.
Well, as someone who gets their
stuff reviewed, not only in Razorcake but elsewhere as well, I
appreciate that. So, in terms of your relationship with Razorcake, what can you
tell me about that? When did you start? How did you get involved? Did you start
out doing reviews? Did you write something first? What was the process there?
So Razorcake has been
around since 2001. It started in January of 2001. I started writing in the
summer of 2005. I was already doing zines and writing for online websites, and
I was just looking for another place to review music. So, I cold emailed them
and Todd, the editor, was like, “Yeah, sure.” And then, they would send me
music and then I started reviewing zines and books. As far as features and
stuff, every now and then, it's usually like once every few years I'll pitch
something because it has to be something I'm really excited about and that
would also be a good fit. And then usually Todd's pretty good with it. It goes
through several rounds of editing. It's not just like an interview and then
it's done. It has to go by a lot of people. So, if I'm doing an interview
today, you may not read it in Razorcake until August or September.
So, yeah, whenever I have something, I pitch it to them. I've gotten a
good feel for what they're looking for after 20 years.
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You get a copy of One Punk's Guide to Therapy via Razorcake here.
You can learn more about Razorcake here.
Kurt also publishes a zine called Room Tone. (I believe he's up to issue 10). You can order current and back issues here.