frazzled can be such a fun word

There is something very lovely about September melting away. For me, it's a kick in the behind to get motivated - but I am deeply aware of a transition of time occurring. The flowers are beginning to fade and the leaves are dropping from the trees. The morning air feels crisp and oh how I love to breathe deep, to pull that cool calmness in. I don't see this season as an end of what was...but a simple regrouping to prepare the world for what will be. School has begun and my credential classes are in full swing...never have I been so busy, but I love it. It's not about if I can do this or not. It's not even about what will be the breaking point. Last night as I watched a fellow classmate in tears wondering how they were going to manage their time and work to survive...I realized it's all about prayer. It's true that what is expected of us is unreasonable (budget cuts equate to combining the winter semester with the fall and spring)...but the outcome is worth it. Next spring when the flowers sprout, we will have forgotten all about how this season helped to prepare us for what will undoubtedly be beautiful.

change: verb-to make different

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.

~Author Unknown

not without hope

My Friday evening visit with my downtown friends went well. They always make me smile. I only served about 12 this time and there wasn't any episodes of violence...thankfully. I did have a helper this time and he was intrigued by my "system of operation". He said his heart was touched by the relationships I have developed and he couldn't believe I remembered all their names! I thought that was funny...why wouldn't I remember their names? He asked if he could help again and of course I thought it was wonderful having an extra pair of hands...so I said, "Anytime!" So we'll see if he shows up next week. We served, as per their request from last week, Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni, French Bread, and I took a container full of sliced up cucumbers and carrots...not a very popular choice! They actually kind of made fun of me for trying to sneak vegetables in. Silly me.

Here's some interesting tidbits about my homeless friends:

Several of them sleep in the cemetery...eek!

They all have real names and street names to "throw off" the police.

One of them volunteers in the homeless shelter from 8am-5pm M-F.

Most of them have families who don't know where they are.

Two of them are mentally challenged from motorcycle accidents.

About half of them drink but refuse to do drugs.

They really don't like white t-shirts. They get dirty too easy and they are easier to spot in the dark.

This has been a blessed adventure for me. I love getting to know these individuals. They are full of personality and their stories break my heart and/or make me laugh...sometimes both. I have never had to experience any hardships that compare to the ones they face regularly. I don't have to worry about where I will sleep, or where my next meal might come from. In due time I'd like to help them make contact with their families somehow. For right now they only have each other and I guess that's enough.

a little side note:


This is my new Avatar. I had to say goodbye to the cute little cottage icon. Back in July 2007 I found the image somewhere on line and really didn't think too much about it....oops....won't make that mistake again! I was informed of its ownership yesterday and I still apologize profusely for using it "without permission"...it was purely unintentional. I really wasn't trying to steal it or be sneaky about it...so learn by my mistake and be careful about the images you are attracted to. I really dislike negative energy and prefer to avoid drama and delve in peaceful simplicity, so I guess I'll have to settle for one of the free simple Avatars until I get time to create something myself...who knows when that will be! This Avatar might be more appropriate for me anyway.
Books and coffee...two things I can't live without.

Shalom.

welcome september

Today was my first day back to school. I guess no matter how old you get, there is always a degree of anxiety when the first day arrives. It's that acceptance thing. Will I be the oldest one in the class? Will I know anyone? Of course my concerns are always put to rest once I get situated at a desk. The students in the same major tend to migrate in a pack from course to course so I knew a few of the students today and I was relieved there were at least three others that were my age or older...that always makes me feel better somehow. So another school semester starts and by next week I'll be bogged down with an unreasonable amount of reading and writing, but I'll be that much closer to my goal...and quite honestly, some days I forget what that goal is. I feel like summer just zipped right by. When I stop to think about this summer I know in my heart it was a summer of change for me. Both of my kids moved away for college, one moved back (the grass isn't always greener on the other side), my parents have aged tremendously, leaving me to wonder how much time I have left to share with them. I actually took charge of my heart for the homeless...normally, my do-good ideas stay safely tucked inside my head waiting for....the right time? An excuse? Initiative? It's been a summer of personal growth for certain. I've learned I can fix window screens myself, I can monitor pool chemicals, I can take solo road trips, I can cook for up to 20 people at the drop of a hat and I can re-imagine me at this age exploring new avenues...fine tuning my tastes, or changing them altogether.
I like season changes...there is always something new to discover.

enough already

Now that the kids have packed up and left their childhood rooms I am left with a mountain of extra “stuff”…and this reality has my mind turning. A few years in one residence is time enough to acquire an excess of material objects that never get used or are simply “souvenirs” or “gifts” obtained that sit obligatorily in the corner of the closet. Seeing what the kids have left behind, what they value (or don’t value) has been an eye-opener…making me wonder now….why did I ever buy that? My kids have never gone without unless it was for the purpose of teaching appreciation or other life-serving lessons. Now I see the evidence that materialism and consumerism has been the underlying culprit in my never-ending search for simplicity…no wonder I am always thirsting for quiet time and trying to capture moments that are not connected to chaos…I am surrounded by unnecessary “stuff” that contributes nothing to actually enjoying life.

Why do we save stuff? I have clothes in my closet I haven’t worn in years. I have three crock-pots, why? I have different comforters in case I change the color of my room back, and I’m ashamed to tell you how many pairs of shoes I have that never actually get worn.

I’m on a mission to make some changes, shake things up, and simplify my life…and once I get my house in order…I’m starting on ME!