kopper

 So, the "how come you were in hospital?" question and how to answer it (without punching anyone in the throat).

A: I had tonsilitis (complicated by X,Y and Z drug-resistant infections).
Q. I thought only kids got tonsilitis.
A. Thanks. I'll let my inner child know as soon as possible.

OR
Q. You still got tonsils?
A. Yes
Q. (Wagging finger motion) Not for long.

Yeah, but I really want to be in denial about that ENT appointment until the follow-up appointment next Tuesday.

There are evidently two phrases and one visual that get you rockstar access to ER.

1. Word Salad
2. Double Vision
3. A scope of my tonsils, which are described as "pitted"or "significantly eroded", which comment is usually followed by grabbing the next medical tech and say "Hey look at this!"