things change

When my girl was born, she hated being restrained in any way. She screamed if we swaddled her. She hated the Snuggli carrier. She didn't even particularly like being held. She wanted to just lie on the floor in glorious freedom and look around. She didn't like warm sleepers and would cry until we changed her into something cooler.

My boy, on the other hand, loved to be swaddled, held, carried in the Snuggli, coddled, and loved the warm sleepers.

Now... my he sleeps with barely one blanket on. My girl sleeps with about six.

I used to dream of living in the country. I wanted a house out in the middle of nowhere with plenty of land and a dirt road. I honestly longed to live on a dirt road. I wanted my nearest neighbor to be at least a block away.

Now, when we drive by those type of places, I still feel some longing. But mostly I think of what a pain it would be to drive that far to the store/doctor/church/school/everything. And how lonely it would be to not have any neighbors or easy access to lunch with friends!

I can think of so many examples of things I used to like, but don't now. Or ideas I used to have that have changed.

I used to think that if someone cracked their head open baby chicks would come out. But I don't think that anymore.

What about you? What is something that has changed in your life?

belonging

I don't belong here.
I don't belong there, either.
I used to belong. I belonged to a church, a Sunday school class, a Bible Study (or two), the community at the kids' school, a circle of friends.
Now, I no longer belong in my old places, but I don't belong anywhere here yet, either. I have met some people. Have some beginning friendships going, I think. I go to a Bible study, a prayer group and a writers' group. But I still don't have that feeling of "belonging". I am going to "their" study, "their" groups.
I don't really feel like I belong at the church we may end up choosing. Or at the school.
I guess this is a normal part of moving, but I don't like it one bit. Feeling like I'm on the outside looking in.
And my son hates school. He cried again today about going. He really doesn't want to go. The kids here are mean, he says. He's had a lot of bullying at this school.
My daughter didn't like it at first, but I think she's doing better now.
I'm having a hard time adjusting to this district and their way of doing things, too. Its a huge district and the schools are very big. The elementary schools are four times bigger than the one we went to before. They have a lot of weird rules and it seems very impersonal and cold, to me.
The county doesn't do a very good job with snow removal.

Ok, yeah, I'm not in a good mood.

People do seem friendly here. The traffic is better by far! I don't get the rudeness in stores and the pushiness that I did in our other town. I like our house and where we live. I like being closer to the stores that I need. I like being close to a big city, even if I never go there -- I can if I want.
I keep thinking that in a year I will be feeling like I live here. Feeling at home and having some wonderful relationships, a church, and a purpose.

Thanks for listening. I feel a bit better already.