Machiavellian Soup

In a previous post Stealing from a Thief, I expressed my alarm about a lot of loose talk openly encouraging people to deceive by taking money from a party under the pretext of voting for them in a by election. People were then urged to renege on that promise and keep the money, supposedly to teach a lesson that bribery doesn't pay.

To justify the act, some declared the money legal, halal, etc. Clearly people saw nothing wrong in obtaining a personal benefit from a deliberate act of deceit.

In what I think describes the situation fairly, here's what Answers.com has to say about the word Machiavellian:

adj.

   1. Of or relating to Machiavelli or Machiavellianism.
   2. Suggestive of or characterized by expediency, deceit, and cunning.

This word is often reserved for despots and tyrants who use any means to stay in power, including trickery and dishonesty. It is also emblematic of a situation where the end justifies the means.

Its not a word decent law-abiding people want to use to describe themselves.

And how our actions speak louder than words.

I'm sure you've heard all the slogans before. Keep Putrajaya at all costs! Take Putrajaya by hook or by crook! These shouts ring equally loudly on both sides of the political divide.

But hang on a minute. At all costs? By hook or by crook? I was glad when RPK came out with his recent article "The ends can't justify the means," relieved that one voice is making sense amid this cacophony.

RPK's lament was hoisted against a political landscape, about politicians and their supporters who seem hell bent on doing anything, including sacrificing their ethics and morals to get what they want. I must state that I agree with RPK's arguments 100%.

But what he didn't mention was how deep this attitude goes and for that, I think many people will miss his point about the need to fight the good fight ethically.

Perhaps we should first recollect how we got here. We are a land of immigrants. A few came here as wealthy traders or hired labourers but for the most part, many of us are descendants of refugees. In the hurried escape from disaster, war and famine, our forefathers and foremothers crammed into tight boats to set sail into the unknown with only the clothes on their backs and a few precious heirlooms. With little food to share, it was a fight to stay alive all the way. One does whatever it takes to get an advantage or an extra mouthful of food. Whatever regard one had for rules, morals and ethics probably took a back seat on that journey.

On land, life was hard too. The rules of survival didn't change much. Its watch your back, grab what you can and run faster than the next guy.

3-4 generations later, I see a society of descendants of immigrants driving nice cars, living in nice homes and using Blackberries but has the underlying refugee mentality really changed?

Rather than answer the question directly, allow me to point out some common examples in our everyday Malaysian life. At the train stations, witness the horde of people mow down disembarking people as they lunge into the train whose doors are just opening, the "Please Queue" sign all but ignored. On the streets, witness how people discretely look left and right for any signs of authority before they make an illegal turn or dash through the red traffic lights. At the buffet restaurants, witness how well-heeled people grab food like they hadn't eaten for a week, some unashamedly cutting queue and mowing down children and the elderly in the stampede. At the land office, witness how an applicant discretely offers money in an envelope in order to extract a favour.

I bet you none of these people would actually see anything offensive in their behaviour. Some actually think this is what competitiveness or being smart is about. We do whatever it takes to get what we want. We take when no one's looking. Might is right. Morals and ethics? Hello kawan, take off your rose tinted glasses lah. If we don't do it, the other guys will and then we'll lose out so let's not be naive.

This world view seems to have followed us from the refugee boats to our modern 21st century lifestyles and from the looks of it, its guiding us even in the way we choose our governments. The ends justifies the means. By hook or by crook. Morals and ethics? Hello kawan, take off your rose tinted glasses lah. If we don't do it, the other guys will and then we'll lose out so let's not be naive.

I think I've seen the beast and the beast is us. We love to talk about religion and God and morals and ethics but only when it suits us. Those things don't count when our survival is on the line or when we're really desperate for something, like a change in government. Or maybe we think we can count on God's grace to be forgiven. We've lived a hard life, we argue. We suffered long enough under a cruel government and if God really loves us and is as compassionate as people say, then surely He'll understand. Now where's that money I stole?

So the hard fact is, whatever illusions we may have had about decency and principles fly out the window the moment an opportunity stares at us in the face. We think nothing of stealing and knowingly riding on the back of dishonest men into power. When we turn complicit, we'll soon discover that we're really not that much different from petty thieves and con men. We share the same work ethic. They too had a hard life. They too are opportunists who are only being practical by not letting morals get in the way. They steal other thieves' money just like we do and use each other to advance their aims.

We become the thing we hate.

See the conundrum?

That is why like RPK, I disagree with the by-hook-or-by-crook philosophy. Sure we might win if we fight fire with fire but if we start a new dawn on an act of injustice or cruelty, then I think we'll put in motion a future that we will neither expect nor condone had we known, and we may never know what hit us when it does.

Which do you prefer, to die young or old?

If the title's a bit morbid, you can thank the new upcoming movie about Bruce Lee's short sweet life for prompting me.

I did ask this question to my friends many years back, which do you fear more, dying young or dying old?

If you're one of those that's not afraid of dying then just modify the question to which is more preferable to you, a long life or short life?

Bruce Lee was one of those talented people who died at the ripe young age of 32. A few other Hong Kong superstars during my time also died young. There was Anita Mui, 40, Danny Chan, 35, and Leslie Cheung, 47.

Yeah I listened to Canto pop when I was younger, thanks to my then girlfriend who hailed from Kowloon Tong.

All these stars died at the peak of their careers just when they had everything going for them. Well everyone has their problems, even they but I can't think of anyone who wouldn't trade the world to have these superstars' problems. I mean having all that money coming out of your ears. How much of a problem can that be?

Anyway when I lived in Singapore I hung out with a few friends from the showbiz industry. They weren't famous people or anything but they had plans and dreams nonetheless. There was a couple of upstart theater actors, a couple of budding singers and a band member. Among the things I remember was this one particular conversation we had at a bar late one night. I don't remember why but somehow the topic of longevity crept into our conversation. We started talking about lifespans - what we thought would be our own.

What struck me the most was how no one at the table wanted to live past 40.

It was as if there was a pact. Each would prefer to die at the peak of their career when they've got the most adoring fans, the most money, lived the happiest moments. That's when the lights can go out, they all agreed.

We were all laughing in between drinks then so I took it as a joke, right up to the death of Anita Mui and Leslie Cheung which brought me back to that night at the bar.

Now this biographical movie about Bruce Lee is doing the same thing.

I think generally, people prefer to go when they're feeling good about themselves, not when they're struggling with arthritis or a bad back or when they're pottering around with a walking stick. I learned about the traditional Chinese-Buddhist attitude about future lives, how if you end this life well, the next life will start well and if you end this life horribly, the next life will start horribly. A continuation of chapters if you will in a story that spans many lifetimes. Might that also lead people to this wish to "check out" at the peak of their lives?

But my friends were anything but traditional and I don't know if that's what prompted them to think that way but I did notice one thing. It was a common attitude among entertainers or at least, in people where beauty and youth appeal are important to self worth. Maybe people do believe there's nothing's sadder than a sad old queen. Its the ultimate entertainers' nightmare so its best to spare yourselves the misery and check out before you get to that stage.

By that yardstick, Anita Mui, Leslie Cheung and Bruce Lee died "perfect" deaths. They left at the height of their fame and left a legacy that is hard to beat even now.

And what about me? When would I like to die if I could somehow influence my natural lifespan?

At 50 going on 51, I would've already missed the boat on dying at my peak but then, it would depend on how I define peak wouldn't it?

I have no answer to that... yet. There are still things I want to achieve, not materially but spiritually. As skills go, I'm barely past beginner going by Anita Mui or Bruce Lee's standards. I don't know how long it'll take but if I can make that journey interesting enough, I know that chronological age wouldn't matter. That's the key I think... to make it interesting. As interesting as going on stage in front of a million adoring fans. :D

Let It Go

I was rather tickled at how yesterday's by-elections turned out. Opposition supporters this morning were all moody. News portals all quiet. Haha, relax lah brudders. This is democracy in action. Now you know. The majority *wants* this. They're more interested in immediate satisfaction than long term gain. They want free money, new projects, free makan. The abuses & the corruption? Pffft. Who cares. Got nothing to do with them what.

I had the same feeling after I got over my dismay of PKR's own sham elections. If their own members from president to the coffee boy don't give a sh*t about the very public bitchfights for positions while the ship drifts further & further away from Putrajaya, who are we to say anything? They cooked the dish, let them eat it lah.

And in yesterday's post, I alluded to some well-meaning civil society people who were egging voters to take free money. Money allegedly being used for vote buying by the other party. So now, stealing bribe money is legal. Uuhh... okay. If everyone wants to believe that while shouting themselves hoarse about honesty, integrity and accountability, then let them do it lah.

I'm not even going to mention "Be end".

Seriously man. Democracy 101 - Who gets the most ayes runs the ship. If the vast majority is a bunch of pirates who'd sell their children for $100, and if they choose a leadership who'll give them that money, you know what? Its perfectly within their rights to do so, just as its perfectly within your rights to disagree.

If they outnumber you 100 to 1, too bad for you. If you're not prepared to accept the outcome, then maybe you should get off the ship.

Am I saying its game over, let's give up? Hell no. I'm saying that to get anywhere, we first need to get over our own denials that whatever's been done to change things hasn't exactly worked out has it. What's the definition of insanity? Its doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time.

I LOLed at the post by-election chatter on Twitter and FB, noticing how we're still barking up the wrong tree. Did we forget it takes 2 hands to clap? Everyone's pointing their finger at the big bad wolf...

... and conveniently forgetting the quiet uncle and auntie who queues up for hours under the hot sun believing they could get a $100 bribe. Kakakakaka....

Now multiply that by a few million people who'd do exactly the same thing given the chance. So where do you think the votes will go to?

I've said it time and again. Its not the politicians that I'm worried about. Its the people that put them there.

So, is anyone even interested in why these uncles and aunties came out to queue for $100? Or are we not interested because its easier to throw obscenities at the big bad wolf than think about why otherwise good people would do the unthinkable?

Yes, I'm talking about us, the Ugly Malaysian who set a low bar for ourselves.

We who don't see anything wrong in giving under-table money to get our way, trashing the environment without any consideration for our kids, oggling at accidents instead of getting down to help, and thinking that being unethical is actually being clever because it shows that we're smart or competitive.

And yes, we who'd sell out our children's future for $100. All symptoms of a more severe disease.

These things are heck of a lot harder to fix than shooting at one bad wolf isn't it? No wonder our lazy minds take the easier route.

I know what you're thinking. If religion can't fix it, how can we?

That's just the thing. When you drag religion in, people start arguing whose religion is true and whose is false. How do we even expect to get past first base?

Everything starts with us. We, as individuals, harbour our own imagined fears. We cultivate our own greed, desires, hatred and delusions. We *choose* to feel this way and that. People may try to influence us to shoot a gun but in the end, it is our finger that pulls the trigger so lets not blame other people for our actions.

With our choices, we collectively give rise to our identities and institutions and subsequently this whole mass of suffering that we call reality. Yup, we created this hell. Bad political parties, bad politicians, bad institutions, we breathed life into all of them. Since we created it, only we can reverse it, not the politicians.

Imagine, when people decide to act ethically, morally and with compassion, when they no longer feel like they need to flirt with the dark side to live and be happy, what use would dodgy leaders be to them? When bad politicians no longer have support, something happens. They and their dodgy institutions fade into oblivion.

Can it be done? Of course. Got so many examples out there.

The wolf is just a decoy. Let it go. Put your attention where its needed most, then we just might have a genuine chance.

(*Picture copyrights belong to the owner of whom I'm not.)

Stealing From a Thief

This is on the phenomenon of vote-buying that seems to have become a feature in every election we've had.

I was commenting about it on FB when it got rather long. I thought it deserved a blog post on its own so here I am. Its a rant so don't say I didn't warn you.

So some guy offers you some money to do something you dislike, like voting for someone you would never vote for.

Being a concerned and responsible citizen, you naturally have no intention of doing it but you decide to say ok anyway. Wink wink, nudge nudge. He trusts you, gives you the money, you pocket it and walk off.

You quietly tell yourself, "Not only am I not going to do it, I'm going to take his money too! Serves him right for asking me to do that disgusting thing."

Nothing wrong, right? Since vote buying is corruption, you feel justified to "gasak" his money, just to teach him a lesson.

Now, am I one of the few who thinks this is plain flat-out stealing?

Sadly, I'm beginning to think so.

I hear people say, "Take it la. The money's legal!"

Legal? Maybe.

Ethical? Hardly.

And that's the problem. Since when did we learn that its not ok to steal from the good guys but its ok to steal from the bad guys?

Stealing is stealing no matter who you steal it from. Jeez, my mother taught me that when I was a kid.

When I take something with no intention of honouring my part of the bargain, that's deception, a clear act of dishonesty on my part. You might think its ok to steal from a thief but since when does two wrongs make a right?

Based on the social buzz, it seems we Malaysians on either side of the fence have no qualms about behaving dishonestly. None whatsoever. And it pisses me off.

What pisses me off even more is that this is coming from members of civil society, people who I'd like to think are level headed, rational, fair minded. Future leaders even.

If fair minded, justice seeking people have no qualms about acting dishonestly and doing it in the open some more, what hope is there?

Whatever happened to personal integrity?

Since when have the good people of the country become Machiavellian?

Are we thinking we're being clever fighting fire with fire when in fact, we're really people without principle?

Showing Your Affection to Your Parents

How do you do it? Hug them? Buy them stuff? Celebrate father's and mother's day?

We Asians are peculiar. As babies we start off life getting hugged and kissed to bits by our parents but as we get older, these outward expressions get less and less. By the time we get to college, open expressions are a no-no, especially for the boys.

I'm not a parent so I can't pretend to know how they feel about the object of their affection getting more distant as they grow up. If I was a parent, I think I would understand why my teenage son wouldn't want to be hugged in front of his friends but I have to admit, I would probably feel a tiny bit disappointed if little tiger doesn't want to be hugged any more.

Outward expressions of love are so alien and awkward for kampung people. My own extended family's no different. But expressions of respect, there's plenty. Its in how people greet their parents, help them up the stairs, serve food, give money, etc. But love... not so much.

I'm not saying we don't love our parents. We do. Its just that cultural protocol this side of the world can bury the expressions of affection between young and old.

I hear a lot about respect. Hormati orang tua or respect your parents. I've never heard about sayangi orang tua (love your parents.) The difference may be subtle but not to me.

But maybe its just me and my mistaken assumption that in the eyes of a parent, a child never grows up no matter how old he or she is. I've always imagined that when a parent looks at his/her sleeping now-adult child, the mind occasionally jumps back to the time when the child was a tot, to the first cry, the first word, the first attempt to walk, the first serious illness. Is it true? I don't know.

And so, I still can't completely see the world through their eyes. Parents sacrifice everything for their children but I cannot see how they would like their children to express their love. I can only guess based on clues. Material support is a given, especially with my dad having cancer. But what is even more important, I suspect, are feelings. A parent's feeling that he or she is still important, needed, appreciated, loved.

And how to show that?

For me who's living with my parents, its simple things. Like an evening walk by the stream with my dad as he struggles slowly with his walker. Seeing him brighten up when he says excitedly, "Son, look at that frog! Do you remember when I brought one home for you and you were so terrified you hid behind the door?" he would chuckle. Or letting him give me advice on how to catch a fish or cut down a tree as if I'm six years old.

He has a lesson to teach. He feels good that he's making a difference by passing on his knowledge. And I feel good that he cares enough to teach. We bond.

Or sitting in the kitchen listening to my mum tell her stories about anything and everything. She feels good that someone is there to listen, even if I've heard the same story 20 times. I feel good that she feels good. We bond.

We don't hug like the mat sallehs do but I still make it a point to hold my dad's and mum's hands even if briefly every day... when I help them through the door, when I take their dinner plates to wash it for them, when I give them their medicine. I guess that's my way of hugging. We don't live lavishly, we have no mother's day or father's day celebrations, we don't exchange gifts. I don't know if those things are important at their age. What I do think is important is presence. That in the most lonely and vulnerable period of their lives, someone is there for them.

I am just doing for them what they had done for me when I lonely and vulnerable right after I was born. I admit it is unfamiliar territory for me but if I'm in the ball park in making them happy, I'm happy.

(*Picture copyrights belong to the owner of whom I'm not.)

Made in Taiwan

Remember when we stuck our noses up at all things made in Taiwan and made in China?

It was the early 70's. I still remember my wealthier relatives driving around in their Datsuns and Toyotas and being apologetic about it. "Alah, kereta Jepun aje, murah" they would humbly say when someone asked them what car they drove.

That was how we looked at all things Japanese then - with disdain. You could buy a new Corolla for RM20,000 I think. It must've been embarrassing to be driven to school in one. I never knew because I was one of those that drove himself to school... on a rusty bicycle too big for my size. One that made my head bob up and down behind the handlebar because when I sat, my legs were too short to reach the pedals.

If your family belonged to the middle class those days, your daddy would be driving a British car. Probably a Ford, a Morris, a Wolseley, an Austin. Or maybe a Volkswagen.

He might have a Mini Cooper or Fiat for a second car.

And if you were really rich, your parents would drive a Mercedes Benz, a Rover or a Volvo and keep an Alfa Romeo or MG on the side as a weekend toy. At home you would listen to a Bang & Olufsen stereo and watch TV on a Grundig or Telefunken tv set.

What were the other things we looked down on?

Oh ya. Selipar Jepun. Pinggan mangkuk China. Cheap plastic toys that were made in Taiwan. They're no Legos for sure. Cheap Sanyo transistor radios. About the only "local" thing that enjoyed some respect was cookware from Thailand and maybe their silk. The Koreans? Err... never heard of 'em.

How the world changed, and not just in who makes better products.

When I was a young man, I made fun of the Philippines for its corruption, disorder and strange personalities like Imelda Marcos.

I made fun of their number 1 export then - maids. I laughed at the pathetic state of Indonesia under Sukarno. I laughed at the war in Vietnam. I laughed at Taiwan and Japan for the shoddy products they made. I laughed at Burma for being a police state. I laughed at Singapore for being so tiny and at the mercy of our life-giving water, which I believed we could turn off whenever we felt like showing them who's boss. And of course, I detested China, the devil himself whose only aim in life, I was told, was to conquer Malaysia.

How the world changed in four short decades.

All these places I laughed at have either overtaken us in every area from GDP to university rankings to economic growth to respect for human rights to quality of life, or is set to overtake us by the end of the decade. That or we have sunk to the level of Burma and Somalia in certain things.

Ten short years from now, I seriously doubt anyone in Malaysia would be laughing at anybody. Not to worry. We may have earned our place as the new laughing stock of the region, regardless of how many skyscrapers we've built by then.

The $5 Billion Ass

"Wooo... that's a nice ass!"

Familiar? That's how most boys start out when they scout for a mate.

Girls aren't all that innocent either, with their famous 5 C's.

Car, cash, condo, credit card, c***. I hear there's a 6th C but I don't know what it is. Cute? Cool? Cowabungga?

Of course we of some experience would say no! Aiyo those things are not important lah. Good manners, being faithful, considerate, committed, responsible, you better make sure you have those first, we say.

Talk about potong steam. We're young, hot and impatient, who's got time for all that? We want to get right down to business and there's only one thing there that counts - a nice ass! Or if you're a lady, the slightly more complicated 5 C's. Same difference.

However we think of it, that's the way of virile young men and women today. I cannot say if its right or wrong. It just is, and the consequences of getting married based on one's ass or chest size is quite predictable. Asses grow sideways over time and then sag. You know the rest of the story.

But does that stop young people all over the world from doing it? You kidding? Of course not! The guys know it. The girls know it. Willing buyer. Willing seller. Any trouble, you cross the bridge when you come to it. You're not supposed to overthink these things as its not cool.

In that same spirit, we now face the prospect of spending $5 billion on developing a well-shaped ass with the recently announced 100-storey Tower of Bebal. One guaranteed to draw oohs and aahs from ass-seeking suitors in the neighbourhood. Actually I think its also designed to seduce onlookers from as far as Europe and Saudi who, its hoped, will gallop over and sweep us off our feet and give us some of their cash and credit cards as we ride off into the sunset.

Of course we, the experienced who've made our mistakes, think its a half-assed idea, pardon the pun. "But what about the basics?" we protest. "What about poverty, education, human rights, commitment to equality & justice, freedom from corruption and so forth? Shouldn't they come first?"

That's potong steam lah and as you might expect, the kids will have none of it. No, we need ass to entice these virile FDI warriors and funds managers, they insist. Those players want to see action and they want it now! If got no ass to show, they'll just go to Singapore, Bangkok or Ho Chi Minh where they're sure to get some ass. When we become old maids, then what are you going to do, they retort.

And hence we have something like this staring at us in our future.

Atkins Lighthouse, Dubai

If it sounds ridiculous, it is, not for political reasons for me but for financial. The deficits and other financial black holes that await us in its wake are potentially staggering. And yet for the young among us who'd marry for nothing more than a nice face or a busty chest, and put the wedding tab on a credit card some more, it is not just reasonable, its the only way to go.

It is the way of the world. We hate it but people judge us based on things that are skin-deep. That's what these outward signs of virility are for - to seduce. Foundations like education and equality and a corruption-free system, who cares? Do you really think Fortune 500 companies mind if they must operate in a repressive or corrupt regime? Of course not. If locals can't muster the talent or interest, its okay. Expat consultants are a dime a dozen these days. So are imported workers.

Burj Al Arab, Dubai

Like the weather, the flow of money is amoral. It doesn't ask what is fair or not fair. In the kiddy-land of finance where attention spans are short and greed is king, nothing creates a buzz like a shiny new phallic symbol, especially if you've got the biggest one on the block. Toss in lots and lots of image engineering in the world press and you might just get your break, never mind if half the stories are fluff. Its Dubai all over again. It doesn't matter if you have no local talent or if your people are suffering from gross injustices or even sliding backwards. With a few nice asses to impress the easily-impressed world and an aggressive public relations machine, they'll come in droves to create the bubble. That's when your sharks come in for the kill. You bite while there's still something to bite.

Its sad but is this the new reality that's awaiting us?

Addendum

If you want to know what happened to the last place that tried to use tall buildings to seduce investors, read this piece about the Dubai economy.

And the blur continues

Gee, this is my 3rd piece in 3 days on the same topic. A personal record! I must be bored stiff, hehe.

So Harris Ibrahim wrote a piece titled Did We All Err to try and make head or tail of that's happening in PKR as I'm sure many fair minded people concerned about PKR's well-being are.

I'm not going to belabour the dates. Oct 10, Oct 16, whatever.

But I do want to belabour this one.

Here's a golden opportunity for the party's top gun, and I mean the official no. 1, no proxies, no deputies, to step up to the plate, remove the doubts and confusion, answer any questions in any depth of detail required, put the matter to rest in a proper manner and not as a side remark in the rush to the toilet, and work to restore confidence in all and sundry. Or something like that.

The media is making hay out of all this. There's quit threats. The public's making fun of it. Some sympathizers have bolted. One would think an issue like this would top any other agenda, whether meetings, public talks, overseas trips or what have you.

You think they'll do the right thing by tomorrow?

From the attitudes I seen in the last few days, I'll bet you a packet of Menggelembu kacang they won't.

Now where have I seen this before?

Oh yeah. The gomen. It lets something happen, say a price increase or a new toll that everyone deems unreasonable. Everyone's pissed. Everyone wants to know why. Official response? Silence. People make demands in the press. Situation gets ugly. More silence.

Sound familiar?

Transparency. That's what separates a 3rd rate organization from a 1st rate one.

Actually the 3rd rate one has a standard procedure too. Its called, "Shhh. Let's all keep quiet. Maybe they'll go away."

So is this what the future looks like, IF they ever get into power?

And please spare me that oh-but-they're-still-new bs. They're 12 years old lah for heaven's sake, an adult as far as organizations go.

Sure, people may have erred about the election process in PKR. Or they may have not. Whatever, what they need is clarification from a credible source, without the self-righteousness and the judgemental oh-you're-so-stupid-didn't-you-see-the-notice attitude. Every day they let this burn incinerates another acre of goodwill they so painstakingly cultivated, and I have to question anyone's sanity for bringing this unto themselves.

Sigh, maybe what they say is true. The party the showed the least results and made the most noise may simply be that after all.

I am disappointed.

Where The Devil Is

The devil is in the details.

From early news reports today, I have a feeling what may have been a small case of messed up logistics and missed messages in PKR may have turned into a full-blown out-of-control monster. That's all I could think of when I read about one side saying, "But we gave ample notice what!" and the other side retorting, "Where got!" and verbal fists start flying.

Again, I am an outsider who can only guess how his great formidable sleeping giant had degenerated into a weenie-hut kindergarten right before his very eyes.

Ah, societies. And to think I never wanted to be a member of clubs or associations since school.

I did become an adviser once though but it wasn't official. A friend of mine was the secretary of a hobby club and it was driving him nuts. Somehow I became his confidant.

As far as I could tell, the issue for him was his enormous faith in a system that would always came back and bite him. He tells his deputy to send out a notice to members. His deputy did, but not after he slept on it for a few days, chewed on the memo's wordings for a couple more days, got distracted by some other task for another couple more days, went swimming, main bola, tengok wayang, etc. By the time the notice was sent out, the deadline had passed, disqualified members were furious, sharp words exchanged, feelings hurt, friendships soured, etc etc.

And my friend said, "But my deputy should have known! Its his fault!"

And this is how many people who run organizations, companies, projects learn the hard way that the devil is in the details. Leaders who know what they're doing hire people proven to have a keen eye for this. Not only that, they never take their eye off the ball even if someone else was carrying it for them. Its the only prudent thing to do. Leaders who don't know what they're doing or are too absorbed in themselves assume their deputies know what they're supposed to do. These tend to get burned.

There is an art to delegation. You can delegate activity but you can never delegate responsibility. That sits squarely at the feet of number 1 who has no one to blame but him/herself when things go good... or bad.

Anyway I don't know if this is what's going on in PKR but the symptoms are starting to look awfully familiar.

Whatever or wherever the miscue was, the responsible way out is not to bash up anyone in their ranks, at least not in public. I can't begin to tell you how many companies fell down and got up taller and stronger simply by taking the honest route. They openly acknowledged their mistakes and oversights, sought apologies, offered remedies, and reconciliation, and unity, and a common way forward. They took open questions, answered them honestly. They informed. Set up websites. Twittered. Facebooked. Clients previously disillusioned by shady practices suddenly found a refreshing wave of sincerity and openness, and the fact that just like them, great companies are not infallible. They too bleed when you cut them. Some outsiders are even moved to say encouraging things about the company on their own accord.

That is how weaknesses turn into strengths.

About the worst thing anyone can do now, especially from a team already suffering from a perception of arrogance, is to stonewall (make dunno to) a public that's losing confidence, or ridicule anyone who asks. Let's see what the tone of rhetoric will be coming out of there in the coming days.

This is an internal competition for positions, I understand that, and if outsiders seem overly concerned, its only because they want some assurance that the winner - who may ultimately influence their lives by making public policy - isn't some shady character. The people have had enough already. In battle, the unethical may use a sorry situation to kill off their enemies to rack up a victory. He/she may be crowned king of the kitchen but that's only worthwhile if the real boss out there doesn't show him/her the finger.

Post-China Thoughts

I've been meaning to update my blog about my recent trip to China while things are still fresh in my mind but quite frankly, got no mood lah. I'm still boggled or gobsmacked, to be a pommy about it, about the things that happened while I was away. The Sosilawati murder for one and quickly after, the farce that's been going on in Pakatan.

I tell myself that although this country probably won't be my retirement home, its hard for me to whistle dixie and look the other way. Not when my extended family, especially my lovely nephews and nieces, have no choice but to live here probably all their lives.

On the grisly Banting murders, all I can say is I hope those responsible will be put away forever. They are a danger to society. I don't share the view that everything bad is politically driven. No, this is the work of criminals plain and simple. Its an anomaly, a statistical one-in-a-million thing that lurks in all societies. The faster we make an example of those responsible, the faster we can get on with our lives.

The second thing is the on-going electoral drama in PKR that is generating way too much irritating noise for me. Let me say this, I'm not a party member and I don't personally know anyone who is but the way things are reportedly going down, my hopes of a better tomorrow are melting faster than an ice cube on a hot July day.

PKR apologists like say two things. One, give them a break lah. They're new, sure got teething problems wan. What do you expect?

Second, ya lah they're not perfect but like them or not, let those people take over first lah, then allow the new generation to take over later and change the system from inside. Anything is better than what we have now.

Okay, here's my take.

The first excuse about being new. That's bollocks. Yes the organization may be newer than its nemesis but its leaders are not born yesterday. Let me give you an analogy. If I hire a CEO with 15 years experience to run a company, if he slugs it out for a couple of years, runs it aground and then tells me its because he's still new, I would have kicked his butt out the door the next day. I paid him for his 15 years of experience and excuses like that don't work on me. So no, if anything it just tells me the guy is in way over his head and had oversold himself when he applied for the job.

The second excuse about closing one eye and letting suspect people take over first and then letting new blood come in and change it later. If you believe in that, then I have a fabulous beach house in Zambia to sell you.

Let's not be naive in thinking that people who will happily bend ethics won't manipulate the environment to cling to power as long as they can. I mean gee, haven't we learnt anything at all? You know the thing about power right? Once you've tasted it, there's no going back. So, are we all prepared now for another 53 years of crap?

There's a reason why these things must be done right from step 1. Its not being idealistic. Its being pragmatic. Nothing's sadder than staring at your own home going up in flames knowing you coulda stopped that early spark when you had the chance.

What's that you say... when the new team is installed, there will be aggressive checks on abuse? Man I wish I share your enthusiasm but I'm sorry, I don't. I know the prevailing culture of the masses only too well, of our obsessive clannishness, of how we like to exempt ourselves from the rules when we have the upper hand, and how easily distracted we can be from things that really matter. Humans are humans, that part I never forget.

From the flurry of news, I'm sensing a familiar aloofness in the top echelons, a presumptive arrogance, factionalism, manipulativeness. Maybe it's all par for the course in politics but what dismays me most is how they seem to have failed the same transparency and governance standards they've been hawking, at least in my view. I mean seriously, what do you make of it when even their own members running for office have to issue press statements to ask very basic questions about competition rules in the middle of the competition? Can't manage a small kitchen, want to run a country?

I had high hopes. I admit, some good things have happened in Selangor but let me say it here - one swallow hardly makes a summer. With Khalid now in the ring, I don't know if those good things will be allowed to stay good, now that some might stand to benefit from shifting opinion. I'm sorry to say it but until the leaders on both sides demonstrate they actually care about something other than themselves, to stand up and give a clear explanation, point by painful point, about the things that are drawing public outrage, until I hear the sincerity in their voices, they have not earned my confidence and my vote in an open election. Sure, every party has its problems and open competition is the essence of democracy. I get it. No big deal. But what's big is how maturely you handle a domestic crisis and right now, in my eyes, you've proven to be an epic fail.

I stand by my belief that PKR members, as the ones who chose these people internally, get what they deserve. You had a golden chance to clean house and gain public trust after breaking some promises in GE12, to endear people to the dream and make a new dawn really happen. At the rate you're going, by the time this is over, you may have nothing left.

Addendum:

One thing I am curious about. Do you think its any business of the man in the street who's not a party member to be concerned about how a party that promises to bring change to the country conducts itself internally?

My take on patriotism

"What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?"

- 林語堂 (Lin Yutang)

It was comforting to see a lot of bleeding heart patriotism this national day despite all that's been happening.

This is what I hear mostly:

1. Regardless of what happens, its MY country. I was born here, I will die here.

2. There's no place like home (often with food and culture bits added)

There's obviously more but if you dig in further into all of them, you'll notice one thing. They're all very emotional and sentimental. No rationale. Why do I say that?

Because none of the reasons you hear will assure you of your continued survival.

One could argue how different is that from living with one's parents. If you're self-sufficient, then you could argue that their survival in no way enhances yours. In fact it may even hinder it because the elderly can consume more resources like medical and leave you with less to live on.

However unlike the preservation of national identity which is politically forged, there is a biological basis behind the preservation of kin. Its an off-tangent topic that's covered in the book The Selfish Gene by R. Dawkins if you're interested.

Back to Merdeka day, how many of us who pass around those patriotic Sudirman songs would spend even a day celebrating our love for our parents? You can see that love for parents and love for country, while similar on the surface, serves different purposes.

This is how I see patriotism.

I go back a hundred years or so when my descendents first arrived on this country's shores. Whatever love my great grannies had for their country was drowned by their desperation to survive. Something drove them to pack up, get on a boat and head out to sea, never to return to their homeland. The inconvenient fact is, I would not be here today had they had stood firmly on the other side and said, "This is MY country. I was born here and no matter what I will die here!"

None of us would be here in fact.

I call this sentimentally noble declaration the burning house declaration because it makes about as much sense as clinging to a house that is engulfed in flames. Yes the house had given you shelter, a garden to grow your food, fond memories etc., but if its burning down and you've chained yourself to the staircase shrieking, "This is MY house! I will never leave!!" then seriously, you need your head examined.

Not all our forefathers came here to escape war and disaster. Some were economic refugees seeking a better life. See the Indons, Burmese, Iranians and Bangladeshis among us today? Ask them why they're here. Whatever it was, one thing we can agree. Everyone in our history were migrants who became "traitors" to their motherland the moment they left its shores for good.

Of course we will never do that, we'll say. We're no traitors. This is our land. We will live and die here.

That's the trouble with humans. We see only what we want to see.

Personally, I do have warm fuzzy feelings for my country of birth so I won't go as far as to say I am unpatriotic. My love is just different than that narrow jingoistic love that's all the rage. I love not only Malaysia but all countries that have contributed to my existence. Let me be honest. If not for my made-in-Taiwan phone and my made-in-Korea TV bouncing their signals off made-in-USA satellites routed to me by made-in-Malaysia companies, whose bills I pay from earnings I made from European, Japanese and Chinese transactions, I would not be who I am today.

I haven't even started on the countries whose extraordinary people gave me great spiritual insight and inspired my meaning in life. All of that, plus my childhood memories that include a weakness for lontong and yong tau foo, shaped me into who I am.

So I'm not so arrogant as to think that I owe it all to one place. On the contrary I shudder to imagine what I would become if I'd never left my tempurung (coconut shell.)

For a couple of decades now, I've been conscious about whittling down overt cravings for identity, be they racial, religious or national, because I know it's all too easy to fall down the slippery slope of bigotry.

My choice is simple: I take the middle path. I agree origins are important but I won't pretend that other places aren't. Places like where I studied, earned my living, helped people, and sought my gurus. If patriotism is about love, then I have to admit that my love is for the world, Malaysia included, because if not for the world, I won't be who I am today.

Superhero stuff

This is what happens when people suffer from a little bit of boredom. I doodled around with a short photographic storyboard using an borrowed camera.

Hi I'm Bloo.

Oops I think someone is following me.

Aarrghhh! They're surrounding me!! Help!!

Peck! Peck! Peck! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Jeng jeng jeng!!! Bloo's best friend hears the ouches.

He swoops in, only to run into a yellow curtain of beaks and feathers!

Wham! Punch! Kapow!!

Yay!!! I kicked their yellow asses!!

Bloo: Thanks Astro, what would I do without you!

Bloo posing with his assailant after the shoot and still doing his Saturday Night Fever impersonation.

Coming up next: Bloo's adventures with T-rex.

When I can borrow the camera again that is.

(No creatures were harmed in the making of this storyboard.)

A broken promise

Many years ago I made a promise to myself that I shall ignore these silly goings on in my homeland known as politics.

A few days ago, I broke that promise. I think that incident with the cab driver the other day tripped it.

It was a day out in town. From the bus terminal I took a cab to see my travel agent who was arranging my flight to Beijing. That done, I took another cab back to the terminal. The cabbie, a Malay gentleman, must've assumed I was Chinese from the way he spoke to me.

Along the way my travel agent rang me up for a confirmation. We spoke in Cantonese.

After the call I rang up my mum, speaking in Malay. After I hung up, the driver peeked at me from the rear view mirror and asked me in a rather concerned tone, "You Cina ke Melayu?"

Being the courteous person that I try to be, I obliged him with an answer. From that point on, the journey proceeded in awkward silence. His previous friendly demeanour had somehow vanished. The rolled up copy of Utusan in the driver's pocket instinctively told me to be careful with my answer.

Maybe it was nothing at all. Maybe it was just my memories from my old kampung playing tricks.

I've had similar questions posed to me in my younger days, not because they didn't know who I was but as a jibe, a kick in the behavioural circuits, a message that as a member of a race 'under seige' I shouldn't mingle too intimately with that other race. I was expected to behave a certain way and from the reactions of people, I felt that speaking another language was like some kind of treachery. I have been called a pengkhianat bangsa (a turncoat to my race) once before in my teens. My offence? Accepting an invitation to stay the night in a Chinese friend's house.

Luckily nothing untoward happened to me in my village or in the cab but the feeling of deja vu overwhelmed me for a few seconds. I reached my destination, he took the fare without so much as a thank you and drove off.

Hmm... do I really care about what's happening? I've rattled off a few rants in Facebook so maybe I do.

Actually I used to avoid the topic like the plague when I lived in Singapore. Maybe deep down I knew change won't happen in my lifetime. Indulging in any discussion about it would do nothing but ruin a perfectly good day so I did what other 'positive thinking' Malaysian PRs did - built walls around myself and locked it all out.

Unfortunately when you're back in the bubbling stew there's only so far you can run before reality jumps and bites you on the nose. You don't look for it. It looks for you. But I have a choice. I can pretend it doesn't exist or I can acknowledge its presence and find a way to make peace with it.

I choose the latter but I am unsure how.

Little pots calling the big kettle black

There is this little discussion about corruption going on in Facebook that I found irresistable to comment on because I think the way the average Malaysian talks about corruption is laughable, hence the blog title. If you're reading this, you're probably not the average Malaysian so perhaps you can laugh along with me.

When Malaysians talk about corruption, we usually have a target in mind: those dirty politicians high up. Don't get me wrong, I think it's fair comment because there is a lot to answer for. I don't think we ever got an explanation or at least, one that didn't insult our intelligence as to why people on a government salary can suddenly live a life of grand opulence that would make a seasoned entrepreneur look like a 6 year-old lemonade stand girl. Even worse when those involved can't string a proper sentence to save their lives.

So let me rehash my FB comments.

As I see it, what first world countries see as corruption, 3rd world countries see as a normal way of life. Yep bold words I know and in my defence, if you've kept an eye open when traveling around places like India, Indonesia and Malaysia, you'd have noticed how its average inhabitant doesn't see anything wrong in paying "under table money" to get around something or to "close one eye" on something that's none of their business, no matter how ethically wrong it may appear.

Years ago in Singapore, I told my visiting Malaysian friends that if you littered or jaywalked here you'd be hauled up by the police. They were plumb astonished. How can!!! they exclaimed.

I know exactly how they feel. To them, that's being 'inflexible' to the point of unreasonable. Its a sign of oppression, a sign that something's wrong. And they're not alone, hell no, considering you can still buy t-shirts like this in the Lion City today.

Yeah I know, wtf. Even Singaporeans themselves think being disciplined and considerate of others is sick. You know the reputation their drivers have built for themselves on Malaysian roads, don't you? Its like, "Yeee Haaa!!!"

Its not entirely unexpected if you think about it. Being unconstrained has its advantages. You can double park, make illegal u-turns, jump queues, crank up your noise at midnight and do all sorts of self-serving things that leave others fuming without fear of repercussion. Such freedoms are actually necessary if its all about you, you and you.

And why not. Life is hard and we've got bigger fish to fry than these pesky little rules. We are survivors. Ours is a society where the toughest and most wily wins, we'd solemnly tell our ang moh friends. Its been that way since our forefathers came ashore on their sampans and we see no reason to change it. Just as our ancestors outsmarted the odds to survive, so too must we learn to outsmart the lay of the land to survive.

So what to do when we get stopped for a minor offense? Simple. We want sweep this mosquito bite away and move on to bigger things. We don't stop to think about how our offense had effected others. Too busy lah, or too full of ourselves. So we offer something valuable to settle. Money, usually. And thus, a small act of corruption is born.

As each act goes unpunished, it gets bigger and bolder. After a few decades, it becomes a way of life. Bribery? What's the big deal. Sap sap sui. Soon, its NOT normal to actually talk about ethical living. What about this punishment of trivialities like jaywalking or tossing a cigarrette butt on the street, isn't it offensive? Of course its offensive... if you're used to letting your kids run wild across the streets, endangering themselves and other motorists and dumping your garbage in the longkang behind your house.

We want 'flexibility' because life is tough and we deserve that extra consideration, and we don't mind paying a bit for that liberty. That's how corruption gradually becomes a mindset, an easy tool for staying out of trouble and getting ahead of others. It has nothing to do with politics. It has everything to do with me, me and me.

Everyone says they hate corruption. Yeah, me too. The big sharks high up may be corrupt but seriously, how different are they from the small sharks? If you ask me, they just have bigger mouths. They are no more opportunistic than the opportunists among us and apparently just as unconscionable too.

I think the politically-connected big sharks are there because they got a lucky break, that's all. If you accorded a small-time con artist the same opportunity to rip off the rakyat, you think he'd refuse it? I didn't think so. All the big sharks started off as small weasels. Or maybe they started off good people but the temptation was too great to refuse. Right place, right time, that elusive secret to success and the ingredient many live for.

So you understand my misgivings when the people who protest corruption loudly are the very same people who don't mind paying their way out of trouble or unethically getting a leg up on the competition. And that's the trouble I see. When its other people, its corruption. When its us, its "resourcefulness." Ever heard of Rules are for losers?

And lastly on politics since Malaysians like to equate corruption to politics, you do agree that in our system, the govt doesn't install itself there. The people do - with their votes. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Moral people appoint moral governments. 

Immoral people appoint immoral governments. 

What does it mean? It means that if you see immorality all around you, the leaders are the least of your worries. Better look at the majority who voted them there. That's where the real problem is.

(Pic by Solomon David)

Raya songs - More cheerful a bit, can or not?

Oy! I heard someone play the first Raya song of the season this morning. P. Ramlee's Dendang Perantau. Hmm... is it me or are most Raya songs sad? The lyrics, its always about parents pining for their reluctant kids to return to the kampung lah, sad memories lah, mopish stuff. Urrghhh.

I asked around but no one's been able to tell me. Why are Deepavali and CNY songs so full of energy & excitement but the traditional Hari Raya songs so sad and downbeat?

So here's my theory.

Its the great post-Merdeka migration of the 60's. Most traditional Raya songs of the era, I suspect, were written by songwriters who themselves were caught up in the great hinterland diaspora. As a new nation awakened, almost every Malay family lost members to the city. Some parents lost the entire brood. They've lived in the same village for generations. All of a sudden, lives changed.

Raya is family get-together time but how to get everyone back when the city is where it's happening, not the kampung?

Listen to the songs. Notice how many of them are a parent's lament. There's a good dose of guilt tripping too, to tug at the conscience no doubt, set in a sad but memorable tune. Elderly fathers stare at the ceiling when they hear these songs. Elderly mothers cry. So do some grown-up children.

Does it work? Yes. The balik kampung tradition is just not balik kampung without the tunes, home-cooked food and memories.

But its changing. Notice how the Raya songs of the 80's and 90's have become less morbid, more cheerful, more fun. What's causing the shift? Many post-Merdeka migrants to the city, now parents themselves, are living just minutes away from their grown up children. They all shop at Tesco, go to the same shopping malls, pop in on each other on weekends. They no longer need intensive emotional resources to corral everyone together. Now everyone can devote their energies on having a merry time. On cue, the melodies, lyrics and tempo of the songs are turning, dare I say it, upbeat.

Which is how it should be. Personally I think Raya, Xmas, CNY, Deepavali should all be cheerful affairs. Its meant to be a celebration after all, not a hearse.

Nothing quite captures the moods, fears and aspirations of cultures going through changes like music does.

One last thing. For Malays, Raya is also about rekindling memories of the dear departed. They visit ancestor graves on the first day. Its kind of like CNY and Qing Ming rolled into one, a big no-no in that culture I can imagine. Maybe that explains the different moods behind the two festivals and why Raya may never be the same with CNY, Deepavali and Xmas.

Ghost story

When I was a young boy, whenever we visited my late grandpa's house, we would pass by a big cemetery which scared the bejeezus out of me. It was a 3-in-1 cemetery. There was a Muslim section, a Christian section and a Hindu section laying side by side. Not exactly 1Cemetry but close enough, 'cause the Chinese one was missing. That one was special. It took up half a hillside much further down the road.

Anyway, surrounding this mile-long stretch of tombstones were rubber trees and secondary jungle. There wasn't a house in sight in any direction. That small country road was the only road that would take us to grandpa's house. Whenever my uncle drove us there, I would cower down on the car seat to my parents' amusement. Even when the sun was shining, that stretch looked gloomy to me.

I remember the stories my uncle used to tell me whenever we passed that way. He said he had never encountered one himself but people had seen ladies standing alone by that road, especially at night. Some say they were young and beautiful. Some say they were old. But they'd always be ladies, never men. Since anyone who drove a car in the 60's had to be male, you can't have a handsome young man standing by the roadside and still have a convincing story to tell so its got to be women. And so it etched in my mind that when men die, they go to heaven and when women die, they turn into ghosts.

There were also reports of men seeing long-haired ladies (oh those darned women again) standing in the trees surrounding the cemetery, letting off the obligatory peal of laughter every now and then as if they were watching a Charlie Chaplin show or something. That's the pontianak or Malay vampire in action. Still, that paled against my all-time scariest: the flying coffin. Rumour had it that some guy died without atoning for some grave sin, pardon the pun and when they buried him, the earth rejected the body, forever condemning the coffin to be airborne. Of course when you're that young, you never stop to think that Malays don't actually use coffins.

Needless to say whenever we stayed overnight at grandpa's, I would be so frightened I could never sleep, and that's not the worst part. The worst part was when I needed to answer the call of nature at night. Grandpa & grandma lived in a solitary hut by the jungle fringe. There was no such thing as toilets or even an outhouse. When we had to go, we had to walk as far as we dared into the secondary jungle behind the house with a kerosene lamp in one hand and a bucket of water in another, find a nice spot and do it right there on the jungle floor. So I perfected the art of holding it in until daybreak.

Quite a few years passed before I noticed how similar some of these ghost stories were with P. Ramlee movies, and another few years before I began to suspect hey, I think these ARE the actual source of these stories! After all, that era saw the advent of this new rave called television and P. Ramlee was all the rage. Today, I am convinced that much of the Malay psyche, especially in folk above 60 years old, is traceable back to P. Ramlee movies. And boy, what didn't it touch - romance, courtship, loyalty, music, what to expect of your children, and of course of what to expect of cemeteries. Study the traditional Southern Malay identity of the 60's, watch a few P. Ramlee shows and tell me you don't see the similarities.

My grandpa's house still stands there today, now occupied by a relative, and thankfully with modern plumbing. The secondary jungles behind it are now palm oil plantations. The large cemetery is still there but it doesn't scare me anymore. There are no more stories of spooky figures hanging around it or of flying coffins.

I've never seen a single ghost in my life. Never seen spirits or supernatural forces either. Maybe these things decided not to show themselves to me my uncle says. Well, I can live with that. Yes I'm still very much living among loved ones who tell me that my fever or flu is actually the work of "makhluk halus" or spirits, and that there are thousands of evil djinns sitting on the top of my fingernail as I type this, LOL. And I'm still waiting for one of 'em to be man enough to come up to me and say "Hi."

And for that I must say thank you Shaw Brothers for burning movies like P. Ramlee into our subconscious minds. You gave us character. Kampung life would've been unbearably boring without you! :-)

Djam karet

This initially started off as a comment on Masterwordsmith's lament on the level of courtesy among some of us or to be blunt, the lack of it. It sort of got longer and longer so I thought what the hell, might as well write a full blown post on it, ha ha.

My Indonesian friends have a term for people who promise to meet up at a certain time but show up an hour late. "Djam karet." Karet in Indonesian means rubber, so djam karet refers to a watch whose hands are stretchable as if made of rubber. Its also a name for people whose respect for other people's time is an epic fail but in typical polite Javanese custom, the watch is blamed, not the person.

Now, what's worse than a friend who's habitually late? A friend who's late AND don't bother to call you to say he's gonna be late. Some don't have the courtesy to apologize for making you wait while others, seeing you suffer from their tardiness, make fun of you for being so hung-up about punctuality. I think we all have a few friends like that and thankfully they're usually the exception rather than the norm. :-)

So I think its a pertinent question to ask. Why is it so hard for some of us to show simple courtesy?

I see it as an issue of personal priorities. No two people are alike so we can't run away from the fact that many of us simply do not share the same priorities or sense of urgency with our friends and vice versa. Some of us are more self aware of it than others and compensate but some of our friends are blissfully unaware. Its upsetting when it involves an old friend but it happens. The truth is, not being given the courtesy of a sorry-I'm-late call is simply an honest demonstration of where we stand in other people's list of priorities. For good or for bad, we're just not on their radar, at least at that particular moment in time.

Tough if we're used to military-style precision, especially in business where time is money (and boy am I known to be unforgiving on the latter.) I just can't do that with friends though, even if its no less irritating.

Be that as it may, we can't change people but we can do something just as effective. We can change our expectations of them, and that's what I do. My expectations of my friends depends on how well our priorities match. Where they match, I know I can safely set expectations. Where they don't, we're still friends but I don't call on them for anything serious. I think the key to friendship longevity has a lot to do with how we manage our expectations of each other.

If people have known each other for years, its not too hard to know each others' priorities and do all this. The bottom line is to avoid creating a situation where a friend's known quirks - like punctuality - is unwittingly pushed centerstage. That's only being sensitive and well, courteous. If a friend is known to be habitually late, then plan to be there late or have the person call you when he or she had arrived. Have a backup plan so if she doesn't call, you go do something else lah. But just don't try that for business meetings though! :-)

On another note...

Masterwordsmith brought up another irresistable point in the same post - hell drivers in Malaysia. I think I can write an entire doctrate on the topic, LOL!! I always felt if we really wanted to know what Malaysian culture is in its honest and unembellished form, forget the jogets and the food and the language. Instead, take a look at the real cultural show - how we conduct ourselves on the roads every day. I'll pull no punches here. The average Malaysian is selfish, disregarding of his neighbour, believes might is right, and that his environment can be manipulated to his advantage by giving the right 'incentives.' Think of how many places we see these traits in our midst, from buffet lines to our collective reaction to crises to the polls.

People can argue about whether chicken rice came from Singapore or satay came from Indonesia but one thing they cannot deny is where that driver over there came from. Now that's what I call culture! :-)

In Dependence

By now, if you've never heard of the Deepwater Horizon tragedy in the Gulf of Mexico, you'd be living under a rock like I do, haha. You can read the gory details here.

Most of society's outrage at this incident is directed at oil producer BP and to some extent, the Obama administration for its handling of the tragedy. While they rightly deserve much of the criticism, as usual we miss the biggest culprit of them all: we the consumers.

Who kicked this whole ball rolling? We did, with our demand for 85.51 million barrels of oil a day according to Bloomberg, no doubt to fuel our lifestyles. Extraction platforms like Deepwater Horizon exist purely for this. It is how the conditions for accidents like this one are set up. Whichever oil company that was involved is besides the point. Honestly, would it be any different if it was Shell's rig that erupted rather than BP's? I didn't think so.

So as I follow the news reports and tweets of the tragedy, that omission of our own culpability in the blame game is most glaring. No one seems to be asking, did this accident have our fingerprints on it? Well not yet anyway but for our sake, I hope it'll happen soon because as long as we miss the chance for introspection, we miss the chance to develop the will to change our habits. Then history will most certainly repeat itself.

Which leads us back to the obvious question. Will we ever be free of our dependence on oil? Would we ever want to? Can we even imagine a life without oil?

Personally I admit, with some sniffles, that its gonna be hell for me to let go of everything oil-related. The cutting off of the Internet would be the most painful. TNB burns diesel to produce electricity that powers our broadband network. This is followed by my only form of personal transportation - the bicycle with its oil-derived synthetics like tyres. Our kitchen stove at home runs on gas, a by-product of petroleum, as is the kerosene in our lamps. My dad's medication is most certainly made by machines powered by oil-produced electricity. And this is all just the tip of the iceberg.

But what will seal our collective fate, I feel, is our phobia of alternative sources. We've already said 'no' to nuclear. Probably a good thing too considering we can't be trusted to safeguard a jet engine, let alone a roomful of thorium. We are hostile to renewables like wind and solar. They just can't produce enough juice to power our non-negotiables - our TV sets, lights and computers. Impractical. Our minds are made up. Oil it shall be and with that, we embrace the risks of our choice, including the prospect of more Deepwater Horizon and Exxon Valdez-type incidents.

Because we are part of the problem, its hard to understand our anger when it happens. Murphy's law, my friends. Can't avoid it if we tried.

Our saving grace is that at 85 million barrels a day, we're bound to run out. My gut says about 20 years time for prices to quadruple, give or take a couple of years. Oh I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about my young nephews and nieces, some of whom are just tots. They'll be running smack into this at the prime of their lives. How do I condition them for a different future? Or should I leave them to their own devices like most parents do?

What would you do?

Moneh

A great fortune in the hands of a fool is a great misfortune. 

- Unknown

One curse about living calmly and at ease without a care in the world is whispers that, "Hey! He's living calmly and at ease without a care in the world! He must have a million dollars in savings!! Quick, run after him!"

Yes, a contented life can be hazardous to your health. Out of politeness to my elders, I've spent many an afternoon listening to fraudulent schemes like the ones highlighted by The Sun a couple of days ago. I've heard it all - MLM, forex, ponzis, Nigerian scams, even a hawt but elusive chick in Singapore who tried hard to entice me. A hunch told me 'she' was actually a bunch of African scammers. The way they wrote their emails was a dead giveaway. Morons.

What's worse than these schemes is the number of kampung people who fell for them. I mean seriously, what can you say when a lucky draw SMS makes people say, "Oh hallelujah!! The Lord has answered our prayers at last!"  Well, God works in mysterious ways right? Who am I to say its not the work of the Almighty?

Funny how these things always require up-front capital, and funnier when the perpetrators justify it by saying you don't expect Him to do all the work right? So there was a time when hardly a week went by without someone calling me and asking, could he borrow Rm100k? No? How about Rm80k? I'll get back 10 times the amount by the end of next week, the caller swears. To add some urgency, he'll say if he doesn't get this loan by tonight, he'll lose the land and the house. Surely I don't want to see Auntie Minah and her children out in the streets do I?

When guilt trips didn't work, some tried to disguise it as an SOS call for food money. Caller says desperately, "Help! I need $5,000 to last my family through the week!" Hmm... $5,000 for groceries for a family of 6 in a kampung where a large family can survive on $500 a month? :-)

I'd give nothing of course and after disappointing a bunch of people, I was bestowed the honorary title of the Great Meanie. Orang tak kenang budi. Lit. the ungrateful one. Nice title.

Ha ha, if only I'm worth a fraction of the millions they think I'm worth. That's not the point though. The point is how long can you stand seeing good people get grounded to dog meat because they ignored your advice to stop playing with these scams. Its worse than gambling. At least in gambling, you roughly know the odds. In a ponzi or African scam, they tell you some confidence building religious words, tell you to have faith in God, then disappear with the thousands you borrowed.

And you know what the funny part is? The same con man can brazenly come back a few weeks later and tell you it was God's will. Its your fault, you didn't pray properly that day. God was angry and made your money disappear. But He's willing to give you another chance so if you could just borrow another Rm50,000, he'll try to get you at least Rm5 million.

And the fool, smarting from the loss of Rm80k but fearful enough of God's supposed wrath, runs all over the place seeking to borrow more money. When that fails, the pressure to pay back his debts builds until something snaps. Suddenly everything's game, even outright gambling, tempered of course with hard prayers to make it legit. Surely God will understand. Surely He'll forgive. As the victim proceeds to lose more than he wins, he goes into an uncontrollable tailspin. A debt of Rm80k balloons to Rm500k and gathers daily interest. All of a sudden strange men are seen hanging around the house. Not angels. Ah Longs.

If people say education is expensive, wait till they see how expensive ignorance is. Oh the blind faith. The surrender of all rationale.

If I seem to have extreme views on gambling and debt of late, this is why. I've seen sinking ships first hand. Its not an easy thing to watch, especially when your advice had fallen on deaf ears, and especially when you're haunted by the desperate screams of the innocent who went down with the ship.