Pukau

Heard this one before? No its not a movie.

Someone responds to an sms that says congratulations, you lucky devil! You've won RM20,000 and a brand new car! Call this number to redeem your prize!

Because the name of a well-known product appears in the sms, the sucker diligently calls the number. The polite stranger on the line says yay... so lucky lah you!! Ya this is genuine, no scam! But there is one condition. You must pay a RM3,000 government tax first to release the winnings and you must bank it in to a special account.

A mere RM3,000 tax for a RM20k cash prize and a brand new car worth RM59k? Only a fool would refuse such a deal right? So the guy withdraws RM3k cash and promptly transfers it to the special account.

There is one last step, the stranger on the line says. Go to the ATM machine tomorrow, call me when you get there and I'll lead you keystroke by keystroke through that important last step to claim your prize.

Over the moon with his incredibly good luck, the man tells everybody in the village the good news. He could hardly sleep in his excitement that night.

The next morning, he goes to the ATM as instructed, calls up the stranger and does exactly as instructed. He stands in front of the machine, one hand holding the phone to his ear, the other pressing the ATM buttons on cue, his mind filled with happy thoughts of sugar and candy. When its done, the stranger says congratulations Mr. Winner!! Next week, on such a day and time, please go to this place in town where you will pick up your prize along with a few others who had also won!

So the happy guy impatiently counts the days. On the promised date, he goes off to town to claim his prize. His wife and children waves him goodbye at the door, anxious for this unexpected gift from heaven. Oh, the problems this extra money would solve. They had planned a little celebratory makan that evening, even invited the neighbours too.

Our friend finally arrives at the address. He finds it to be a padang, an empty field, not a soul in sight. Yes the address is correct but there's nothing there but grass and a few trees. In panic, he calls up the stranger's number. Hears "Nombor yang anda tuju sedang tidak aktif." Tries 3 times, same thing. He turns a shade pale, instinctively runs to a bank's ATM across the road and checks his account balance. There must have been a change in plan, he thinks. Maybe they decided to bank in the winnings directly.

And there it was gloriously splashed on the ATM screen: Baki akaun RM5.23.

But he had RM6,500 last week! he thought. He never touched his account after withdrawing the RM3k for that 'government tax.' Well, except for the time when the kind stranger told him to do something at the ATM the day after. Wait.... what the... oh shit what did he do...?

On the way home, his head spins. How's he going to feed a family of 5 with RM5.23, and its only the 6th of the month? He arrives home with a long face. The family is devastated at the news. Word gets around the village. A few people drop by to give sympathies. Some shake their heads at how people have the heart to steal from innocent people. The others shake their heads at how our friend, such a smart fellow that he is, could swallow this 'offer' hook line and sinker.

But regardless of the opinions, everyone agrees on one thing. The man "KENA PUKAU!!" Yes he's defintitely the victim of a hypnotic spell, cast over the 3G handphone network no less. There's no way that a perfectly sane, smart person could fall for such a scam! No, they definitely must have done something to him, some black magic that caused him to act like a zombie! Its the only logical explanation!

-------------

HOW THEY DO IT

This is what happens at the ATM as related to me by a victim and a bank officer familiar with such cases.

Over the phone, the stranger tells you to stick your ATM card into the machine and select "activate internet banking." (Yes it was targeted at those without internet banking.) During the process, he will assure you repeatedly that your money is safe because he's not asking for your PIN number. Good right? But for just the record, the stranger says, could you say out the 16-digit number printed on the face of your ATM card please?

That string of numbers is not a secret, you comfort yourself. Otherwise the bank wouldn't have printed it so openly, so what harm can it be to tell it to a stranger? So you say it out, the stranger says thank you and hangs up.

With that done, here's what the scammer does.

He goes to your internet banking portal, does a first-time login. To grant access, the system must know that the user had requested activation manually at an ATM machine. That's already done by the victim at the direction of the scammer.

Next the system asks for 2 things: the 16-digit ATM card number used to apply for access and the first-time password, which is often the default 123456. Type those in, click confirm and wa lah! Access granted.

So he logs in masquerading as the user, transfers your money to any 3rd party account of his choice and that's the last you'll hear from the man.

The most unfortunate victims are those who are ignorant about Internet banking and are too embarrassed to make a report. Meaning proud people, low education. They may find their balances forever near zero. How does that happen? Easy. Once online access is granted, the scammers log in every day to see if they can steal more money, and the thieves don't even have to be in the country to do it.

So... please, good people. Beware of unsolicited prizes. The lunch may not only be not free, but more expensive than you can possibly imagine.

And don't get me started on that pukau nonsense. Don't you think the Americans would have used it to invade Iraq without firing a single bullet? Just make a few long distance phone calls to their enemy's leaders, cast some pukau spell and wa lah, everyone turns into zombie-robots, ready to do your bidding. Easy as pie.

My new election anthem

By Jay-Z, Rihanna, Kanye West

Feel it comin' in the air
And the screams from everywhere
I'm addicted to the thrill
It's a dangerous love affair

Can't be scared when it goes down
Got a problem, tell me now
Only thing that's on my mind
Is who's gonna run this town tonight
Is who's gonna run this town tonight
We gonna run this town

We are, ya I said it, we are
This is Roc Nation, pledge your allegiance
Get y'all black tees on, all black everything
Black cards, black cars, all black everything

And our girls are blackbirds ridin' with they Dillingers
I'd get more in depth if you boys really real enough
This is la familia, I'll explain later
But for now, let me get back to this paper

I'm a couple bands down, and I'm tryin' to get back
I gave the other grip, I lost a flip for five stacks
Yeah I'm talkin' five comma, six zeros, dot zeros, here it go
Back to runnin' circles 'round niggas, now we squared up
Hold up

Life's a game, but it's not fair
I break the rules, so I don't care
So I keep doin' my own thing
Walkin' tall against the rain

Victory's within the mile
Almost there, don't give up now
Only thing that's on my mind
Is who's gonna run this town tonight
Hey, hey, hey, hey
(Is who's gonna run this town tonight)

We are, ya, I said it, we are
You can call me Cesar in a dark CSAR
Please follow the leader, so Eric B. we are
Microphone fiend, it's the return of the god
Peace god

Uh, uh, and ain't nobody fresher
I'm in Mason, uh, Martin Margiela
On the table screamin' fuck the other side, they jealous
We got a banquet full of broads, they got a table full of fellas

And they ain't spending no cake
They should throw they hand, then, 'cause they ain't got no spades
My whole team got dough
So my Bankhead is lookin' like millionaires' 'fro

Life's a game but it's not fair
I break the rules so I don't care
So I keep doin' my own thing
Walkin' tall against the rain

Victory's within the mile
Almost there, don't give up now
Only thing that's on my mind
Is who's gonna run this town tonight
Hey, hey, hey, hey
(Is who's gonna run this town tonight)

It's crazy how you can go from being Joe Blow
To everybody on your dick, no homo
I bought my whole family whips, no Volvos
Next time I'm in church, please no photos

Police escorts, everybody passports
This the life that everybody ask for
This a fast life, we are on a crash course
What you think I rap for, to push a fucking Rav-4?

But I know that if I stay stunting
All these girls only gon' want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon' come is as good when I'm cumming

She got a ass that'll swallow up a g-string
And up top, uh, two bee stings
And I'm beasting off the riesling
And my nigga just made it out the precinct

We give a damn about the drama that you do bring
I'm just tryin' to change the color on your mood wing
Reebok, baby, you need to drop some new things
Have you ever had shoes without shoe strings?

What's that 'Ye? Baby, these heels
Is that a may, what, baby, these wheels
You trippin' when you ain't sippin', have a refill
You feelin' like you runnin', huh, now you know how we feel

Hey, hey, hey
We gonna run this town tonight
Wassup!

The no. 1 cause of change (and why it eludes us)

One word. Pain.

When we cannot tahan pain, we change.

Sounds a bit simplistic? Try it. See how long you can sit still without moving a muscle. Or hold your breath without gasping. Or resist a 90%-off super cheap sale.

If these things don't move you, then I can safely conclude that you haven't crossed your threshold of pain. You are still in your comfort zone. Maybe other bigger pains occupy your mind. Perhaps a crushing credit card debt that's overriding the pain of missing out on a deal of a lifetime.

People grumble at how nothing's changed after 52+ years. That's over half a century. A pretty long time to be a victim.

So have we arrived at our threshold of pain yet? Ha ha, far from it. Why do I say that?

Because there's a tussle for votes at you-know-where.

What does tussle mean? It means that despite all that's been inflicted, not everyone agrees that their pants are on fire. Yes, how about that. There you are seeing the smoke rising right in front of your eyes and every other bloke says, "Fire? What fire?"

In a morbid sort of way, people's ability to tolerate punishing levels of pain is a triumph of their grit. They're the true survivors. I mean seriously, how many people can you throw into a Jumanji-like swamp where they are plundered, raped and abandoned and you still have to convince them its painful?

Step into the mind of the fence sitter and the unconvinced. Feel it? Ok ok, some do say to their tormentors, "Ya, you screwed me for so long and it hurt a bit but ok lah, I give you one more chance." Wah, damn keng lah we all.

If there's one thing imperial China and revolutionary Russian history has taught me, its man's ability to tolerate pain. We're no different and I do think it'll take more abuse, and I mean a helluva lot more, before a blip registers in our cerebral cortexes. One big enough to make people actually sit up and say, "Damn there's a mosquito in here!" and eventually want change. To quote Shakespeare (of Columbus, Ohio), this ain't nuthin' yet. He he.

So my conclusion is this: You feel pain, I feel pain, but do the 53% out there feel pain? I'm afraid my answer at this time has to be no. So what do I do now? Lament the suffering that has gone unnoticed for 52 years or rejoice at what tough survivalists our stoic brothers and sisters have become?

Development? What's that?

Over teh tarik I had a chat with a visiting friend who lamented that his kampung in Johore was lacking development. There was just one school nearby, a small row of kedai runcits, one surau, only two tarred roads, a few street lights. That's it. Nothing much has changed for the last 30 years he said.

I asked him what sort of development he would like to see?

Well, more tarred roads would be nice he said. Terrace houses instead of those wooden kampung houses. Another school perhaps. Modern shops. Maybe a shopping complex with a cinema. A few modern factories could help provide jobs and income and raise the standards of living at the kampung he said.

In his area, people survived mainly on oil palm, livestock farming (mainly chickens) and fruit plantations nearby.

I agreed with him. I grew up in that environment so I know exactly what its like. Those days, a day trip to Simpang Renggam or Batu Pahat was like going to heaven. So excited, I could never sleep the night before. Oh the things I would see and do in the big city!

But now that I'm older, maybe not much wiser but definitely older, my perspective has changed. Its not about nice buildings any more. Its not even about a bustling economy. Not that they aren't necessary. They are, if only to relieve us of the task of drawing water from the well, tiresome bullock carts and hiding our ringgit under the floorboards. I now see development as those things plus a whole lot more.

And what is this whole lot more?

Well, adding happiness, contentment and compassion into the pot would be nice.

Idealist? Of course, but no more idealist than wishing for multi-layered highways, a strip mall and an international airport in your kampung. 30 years ago, if you told the village folk in sleepy Dengkil that these things will rise up in their midst, they'll think you've gone bananas. Well guess what. Today they have Putrajaya, Cyberjaya and KLIA standing in their midst.

But as monuments of modernity come up, people forget that there's more than one side to development. I guess no one told us that "development" as we knew it was really nothing more than nice clothing. It doesn't necessarily make up for the moron in us. Now we know, because we've put the tagline "1st world facility, 3rd world mentality" firmly affixed to "Malaysia, truly Asia." Now we know that development is never a 2-in-1 deal. So we pause, curse a bit and say what the heck, let's build anyway. Better a fool with clothes on than a fool with no clothes on?

These days whenever I say development, I always mean it with a heavier slant on mental development. Its not just about having more schools or job skills. Its about the development of wholesome aspirations, attitudes, how we treat one another, how we treat the environment. Those, in my opinion, are just as important an indicator of development as the World Bank's obsession with GDP growth.

I've traveled quite a bit in my short lifetime. I've seen Japanese and European towns that haven't changed much over the years. Take a drive across the Alpine mountains and see how many of their kampungs are still kampungs. Funny. These people changed the world with their ideas, produced a procession of Nobel prize winners, and yet many of them who live outside the city centres still cycle, plant food, lead simple lives. I've made friends with a number of them. They have the same problems we have - family issues, environmental worries, living on a budget - but beyond that, the mindset is a world apart. They've picked up something we haven't, even though we've got more skyscrapers and fancy electronic gadgets in KL to show for our "development."

So I said to my friend yes, by all means, press for more development in your kampung but please don't forget, its not just what's on the outside that matters. I hope he understood what I meant.

How to measure wisdom

My quick answer - the same way we measure stupidity? By counting how many people want to wring dumbo's neck?

On a serious note, big-name companies take great pains to filter their job candidates with things like aptitude tests. They are like IQ tests, only less mathematical. I've seen some that are designed to ferret out personality traits. Not that I'm impressed. They've never stopped the psychos from joining, or stopped anyone from turning psycho after they joined. :-)

I'm quite certain of one thing. None of these tests measure the most important thing to have at work if you are in the upper ranks. That is wisdom. Quite understandable really. How do you measure something you aren't even sure how to define?

So after reading Masterwordsmith's interesting blog entry on why some people are smarter, I left these comments:

".... In my opinion, high EQ and IQ scores are important to compete. But if its happiness one seeks, it is the wisdom score that counts. I don't see IQ and wisdom as synonymous. I have a couple of Mensa friends with IQ off the charts who are the most miserable people I ever met.

If only someone has come up with a way to score wisdom...

I've always seen IQ as quantitative and wisdom as qualitative. IQ is to structured logic as wisdom is to unstructured experience. IQ will tell us where best to drill for oil. Wisdom will tell us if we can live with the consequences of drilling. I suppose that is why engineers and decisionmakers sit in different rooms.

I think wisdom can be measured, not directly but indirectly. Its like measuring a black hole in space. You can't see it but you can measure its size from how objects near it react to its gravity. Using the same principle it is possible to infer wisdom from the effects of wisdom, things like track record. For instance how many mistakes and bad decisions one has made over time, and how many of these mistakes are repetitive (i.e. whether we have the capacity to 'wise up' or not.) As a collective we Malaysians score poorly there I would say, given how the same people are voted back to power again and again. We are not wise. But tests on adaptive learning ability can be found in any branch of AI studies I'm sure.

IMO, the thing that will fudge up any attempt to make wisdom measurement popular is culture, specifically how wisdom is attributed to things like faith, mysticism, even magic. We are taught that a) wise people are old people, b) wise people are religious or mystics. The biggest nightmare that could happen would be to measure an old well-known priest and find that all those years had done nothing to make him wiser. Think of what that could do to the faithful."

It would be ideal to have high IQ people in the technical side, high EQ people in HR and admin, and high wisdom people in senior management. Things should sail smoothly, on paper at least, until transfers, promotions and all that tip over the apple cart.

I've actually never met anyone who looked like he could score high in all 3 areas. Sharp or amiable people aren't always wise and wise people aren't always sharp or amiable. What's painfully clear to me though is that many organizations put the wrong people in the wrong place. And then they wonder why they can't fly.

Using track record and references to infer one's wisdom quotient is the easiest, if you can accept it being more art than science. The trouble with it is that looking for a job is very much like courtship and in courtship, people have a tendency to reveal only side A. Side B surfaces only after the deal is done and its too late. Yes you may have done wonders in the past but often there is no indication at what cost, especially in human and environmental terms, areas where wisdom leaves the biggest impact.

Unlike IQ, there is no such thing as the ultimate top scorer in wisdom. Wisdom is a funnny thing. It draws from past mistakes, unlike IQ and EQ which are all about being perfect and free of mistakes. IQ and EQ can give you a good start, yes, but ultimately it is wisdom that keeps us in the game long term, for its only when we can accept imperfection with patience and grace - a mark of wisdom in my opinion - is there a chance we can survive long, and survive well.

Do you have a maid?

This is a post about outsourcing or in our local lingo, subcontracting.

At the peak of my career in my so-called past life, I didn't have to do much to sustain myself. Except for making my bed in the morning, taking a bath and driving to work, I let others do the donkey work. The restaurants cooked my meals, I had someone pick up my laundry once a week, people cleaned my condo twice a week, and someone wiped the car clean every day. Yes, outsourcing was my middle name. The only thing I didn't have was someone to wipe my a**.

In the office, my personal assistant handled all my logistics. Morning coffee, documents, dinner, flight, accomodations. There was one time when the company generously offered me a driver. I tried it for a month, sitting at the back like a towkay, and then decided nah... it just didn't feel right. I found myself burying my face in a book (facebook?) everytime I saw a friend walk or drive by. Something about not wanting to set expectations I cannot meet. And furthermore I dressed too casually to be driven around.

In Hong Kong, what do they call someone who drives a BMW? The owner. And someone who drives a Mercedes? The driver. Go figure. There's an American version. What do you call a Latino who drives a Merc? A thief. Hahaha. Bad racist joke by the mat sallehs.

Anyway, overheard at the coffee shop the other day: "You sure its a good idea to hire a maid to look after my children? What if the kids start calling her mummy?"

Ah so, we got a new panic in the households now.

Careful guys. Ask about the necessity of maids and you might just end up with a gender war. What! You mean women are not supposed to have a life izzit? What about you men, why aren't you doing your share of the housework, bla bla bla.

I'm not getting into that but I do want to get into our noticeably growing appetite for personal outsourcing, regardless of task and gender association, because there is a bigger question in my mind. Where do you draw the line in personal outsourcing? Do you think there should even be a line?

Think we've peaked at having others do our cooking, laundry, daycare and house cleaning? Not so fast. If we are really, really busy, we can now subcontract childbearing to surrogate mothers. I believe rent-a-womb is what its called. Still no time after that? Get a maid cum nanny. Wait, got something for men too. Fertility problems? No worries. You can outsource DNA extraction to sperm banks. Imagine - no need to waste time in courtship, marriage, fathering, mothering. Got money, got baby in a box.

Got some more. If you are gay or lesbian, I hear you can rent a husband or wife for the evening. A handy way to avoid pesky questions at official functions. I doubt you can find it in Malaysia though. Here we have GROs that charge by the hour but I don't know if they do gays.

Will we see surrogate mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, even children in our lifetime? Yup, I think so. There's a huge silent market of people wishing to enjoy a complete family life without all its complications, plus a switch to make it all disappear when inconvenient. It'll be a hit in Singapore, I can tell you that. I can already imagine the ultimate subcontracting deal: Go make your money! Enjoy your soccer and shopping! Let us take care of the rest! Its just a matter of time before some enterprising person makes it a reality.

Have I mentioned why I gave up the company driver and eventually stopped driving to work, opting for the MRT instead?

Let me tell you what I get when I take the MRT. Long walks. Fresh air. A thousand faces. A broken light fixture at the ceiling. New ad posters. Gossip. Teenager in latest fashion. Old lady with weird bag. Help old lady with weird bag. Guy arguing with girlfriend over the phone. Tiny wild flower growing through a crack in the wall. Stray kitty basking in the morning sun. Flash a smile at someone who looks depressed. Help tourist take photo. Share umbrella with stranger when it pours.

And this is what I get whan I am chauffered to work. Cars. Bikes. Jams. Cars. Bikes. Jams.

Of course it all depends on what commuting means to you. Is it a chore that you want to put behind you as quickly as possible, like avoiding obstacles between A and B in record time, or is it something you keep with you, like having an enriching conversation with a stranger on the way to a meet?

What about this maid business, isn't it a leap to think that having one will make you any less of a parent?

My answer: Like commuting, it depends on what you see in parenting. Do you see it as chore that you want to put behind you, like changing the diapers and preparing the bottle, or as something you keep with you, like finding out what makes a baby giggle?

The same picture can look quite different when you turn it sideways, don't you think?

What I learned from Facebook... so far

Quick, where can you find 5,000 friends and not one of them gives a toss about what's on your mind? a) When you're dead, b) when you're on facebook.

How do facebookers make friends? This is what I gather from my fledgling eff-book experience:

A pal in the real world - Accept.
Friend of a friend - Accept.
Enemy of an enemy - Accept.
Friend of an enemy - Ignore.
Enemy of a friend - Ignore.
None of the above - Suspicious. Ignore.

But what if the guy that wants to add you as a friend has 10 friends and 10 enemies on his list. How?

I've no idea. I'm learning, learning... :-)

Out of curiosity, I joined facebook in late February this year. I started with 0 friends. That was 7 weeks ago. Today this is what I have.

Friends: 9
Games played: 0
Pokes received: 0
Own pics uploaded: 0 (got no camera liao)
Comments made: 2-3 a day

Yes, that's nothing compared to the guy with 5,000-over friends that I came across the other day. Haha, I never had one-tenth of that my whole life!

But fascinating it is and so far, I'm most impressed by facebook's capacity to change the very definition of friendship. Apart from the couple of nice people I interact with personally, I'm starting to understand how social network friends are more like status symbols. Think of it as a scouts badge. Your mission, should you be the type, is to collect as many badges as possible. If you're a gamer you'll need them to build your mob. If you're a sopo (socio-political bum), you'll need them for presence. Badges from foreigners, celebrities and famous VIPs are worth ten times the ordinary ones. Just like in the real world, you are who you "know" and in some cases, who you don't.

If you are in it to socialize (what else do you do on a social networking site, duh) you have some thought evolution to do. For instance, there's only so much you can say with a status field limited to x characters so interpersonal bonding on facebook is... well... different. Being old school myself, just how people get far enough into relationships, get married and break up via facebook is till a mystery to me but... I guess there's nothing wrong with it if it floats everyone's boat.

Back to badges. If these tokens are the real power behind profiles, then a person with a single digit number of friends, like me, must be damn scary. I've seen that in my school days where the worst thing that can happen to you is to be seen playing with the lone weirdo sitting in the corner, even if he is really the most decent guy on the playground. Hmmm, maybe there is a correlation between facebook and real life after all. (Ha ha, before you think otherwise, I think having 9 friends is fantastic. For me its about quality, not quantity.)

What I like about facebook: Its lively and enriching, like walking into a vast coffee shop where people from all walks of life are chatting.

What I find scary: You dumb down your socializing decisions by letting others make them for you, as in the enemy of my enemy is my friend. You propagate the zeitgeist, sometimes mindlessly. Mundane things (I had a tooth filled today) become headline news (He had a tooth filled today!)

Overall, its... FUN!

I wonder if twitter is any different.

What to eat?

Where do you even begin with a spread like this?

On Saturday I was with a friend and his family to celebrate his college-going daughter's birthday. We went to a buffet at a 5-star hotel in the city. It's been a long time since I had such a large amount of food staring at me. I was overwhelmed.

I ended up having one bowl of soup, half a plate of fried rice, 3 samplings of veggies and a piece of stewed chicken. A few slices of fruit and a small square of cake later, I surrendered. Couldn't eat any more.

My stomach must have shrunk. Tomorrow I'll sure regret for not eating more I told myself but it was all I could handle in one sitting.

The company was excellent. In between the conversation, we sipped coffee and remarked at how people could go back to the buffet table for round 5 and round 6. One thing for sure. I seldom see such muhibbah. Malay, Chinese, Indian and dan lain lain diners all making a beeline for the roast lamb that was fast disappearing.

They say sports is the way to lure Malaysians of all races together. Forget sports. Try food. It tastes better and is a lot cheaper some more!

We reap what we sow

Well... not always if you are a farmer. Not all the saplings I plant survive no matter what I do so I learned that in planting, you must be prepared to accept some losses. But as long as you compensate by planting a bit more, you'll be okay.

When I was working (yes I was actually employed once upon a time) I was known for my unpopular belief that we deserve what we get. That's what I would say to people who were struggling with workplace issues. To be fair, I also said the same thing to people who enjoyed success. You worked hard, you made the right choices, you deserve it. Congratulations!

I am acutely aware of how selective we humans can be. When we succeed, its always due to our hard work. When we fail, its always other people's fault. The truth is, if we could see the future, we would not have made half the decisions we made today. That itself is a silent admission of own own role in the messes we're in. But since we can't see the future, we barge ahead, pay the price, regret, and say never again. Pain is a great teacher if we are open to learning.

So if that's the case, then why does history keep repeating itself? Did we fail to connect the dots between action and consequence? Or did we see it but tried our luck to beat the system (the law of action-reaction) with our creativity?

Some time ago, a manager in a big company came to me for advice complaining that his colleague (another manager) had instructed him to change a broken light bulb at a store room. Incensed that these menial requests were getting frequent, he complained that he had been reduced to a servant by colleagues of the same rank.

"Did you tell him that as a manager, its not your job to pick up the rubbish and change light bulbs?" I asked him.

"Yes I did" he said.

"And...?"

"He just kept quiet."

"And...?"

"So I had to do it lah!"

"So, you let him get away with not replying your question. Can I ask why?"

"... what would you have done?"

"Well, for one I never let an important question go unanswered so I would not remove myself out of his face until he says something. I would also ask him to explain why he thought it was appropriate to treat a fellow manager like his personal servant. Again, I would not let him walk off without giving me an explanation."

"What if he did?"

"Then I'll tell him he can go do it himself. If it bugs me that much, I'll walk to the MD's office to ask what's going on. If I'm dissatisfied with the answer, I go to the Chairman."

When we do nothing to change our fate and choose only to complain, we deserve what's coming to us. If it turned out that the abusive manager is the blue-eyed boy of the MD and Chairman and his actions came from a sense of entitlement, and if top management paints itself as incapable of equitable behaviour, then you get to decide if this is the best place to spend the prime of your life. Maybe moving on is the best thing that ever happened. Either way, you take control of your destiny.

The same thing happens in public life when the representative we elect betray us. We jump up and down in anger when they say something outrageous. So tell me, what homework did we do before we elected these people to their seats? Did we do a thorough due diligence by questioning their personal convictions on issues that are dear to our heart? Did we put them under a spotlight and make them declare who they really were before we voted them? Did we let them get away without answering? Worse, did we even ask?

So who to blame when these people start saying the wrong things? Them for screwing you, or you for putting them there in the first place?

That's what 2 decades of management has taught me. I know, its not the most popular thing to say but recent events convince me even more that we got what we deserve. That's a bit harsh you might say. Its those other people, they were the ones who did this and that. Yes, maybe, but whatever happened to willpower and choice? Let me ask the vocal ones, what have you done to ensure that the next individual you elect isn't some dangerous quack in disguise? And what have you done to endear reason to the hearts and minds of those likely to hoist up a dangerous quack?

You did not fall for old Deng Xiao Peng's "It does not matter whether they are black cats or white cats; so long as they catch mice, they are good cats," did you?

Would you pass the mirror test?

When news of Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky's scandal first broke out, I think I was having lunch at a coffee shop. I can't remember the exact date and place but I do remember sitting there with my eyes glued to the news on tv. Oh no, he did not, I said to myself in disbelief as they ran footage of him answering the press. I guess old Bill agreed with me because he too said he did not. Well, we all know the rest of the story.

I also remember the aftermath of that saga. Everyone I knew shook their heads in disbelief, even those who led more scandalous lives than Bill. If Bill did a Monica, these fellows must have done ten and yet there they were, happily condemning him kau kau.

Currently racism is a hot topic in our country. Everyone's shaking their heads in disbelief, horrified at some of the proclamations that are coming out. No doubt, nobody wants to be called a racist, not even chauvinist organizations but how many of us non-racists can actually answer these 8 questions without feeling a tinge of guilt? When was the last time we protested against such behaviours in our own children when it happened in front of our eyes?

How about taking the mirror test. Here we are holding others to standards that we ourselves cannot meet. Now look hard in the mirror. Would we dare vote for ourselves?

The most common response I got to this is, of course la, we are not leaders. We are just normal people so its okay for us to be unclean, corrupt, unfaithful and racist but those people at the top, they are different. They are leaders. They should set a shining example. They should know better.

Excuse me?

Let me get this straight. You want to appoint Mr. Perfect to fix a bad public habit like subtle racism but you say its okay for you to be a subtle racist because you're not a leader? In other words, you're making all this noise because you want someone to fix something in your backyard when as an ordinary person, you feel its okay to leave it broken? Am I missing something here?

Some say okay la, you got a point there but its not our fault. We've been misled for so long therefore our behaviour is understandable and excusable. I have two problems with that. One, if its a small excusable thing (since its okay for us ordinary people to do it), then why all this bising-bising about fixing it? Two, small habits get culturalized over time. Sikit sikit jadi bukit. The toilet got dirty, we couldn't be fussed about cleaning it and before we know it, dirty toilets become part and parcel of our culture. Is that why we grudgingly say "Normal lah" when the mat salleh in seat 4C gets orange juice while we get served plain ice water at 5D?

As you might guess, I come from an angle that sees racism as an iceberg. 80-90% of it is below the water. What you see at the top, all these offensive proclamations, as annoying as they are, is nothing compared to what's below the surface. I don't think many of us appreciate how deep this really goes.

If you think this is only happening in our country, its not. Hundreds of years after their era of slavery, the Americans are still struggling with white supremacists. The extreme right wingers in Australia, Germany, the UK, even Russia are also still very much alive. Even racism is alive and well in China, like the Hong Kong incident that got highlighted again in the press yesterday.

I fear that if we expect our leaders - incumbent or opposition - to solve the problem top-down, we will be disappointed. Sure, some bad seeds have been thrown into our garden many years ago but may I ask, what have we done to weed out the scourge from our own homes? Because from what I see, we still stereotype. We still get alarmed when our child flirts someone who's not "one of us". We still buy skin whitening creams. We still pay more attention to the mat salleh customer than the local. Best of all, we do all this while we tell everyone to stop being racist.

If walking the talk is the new way to go, I wonder when will we ever heed our own advice.

(Johan believes no racial policy on earth can beat what we choose to keep in our hearts.)

Eight questions about skin colour

We all want to believe that skin colour doesn't or shouldn't make a difference to us, especially when we are at the receiving end of some uncomfortable treatment.

We all can agree that racism is vile but I'd like to put that under a microscope for better understranding so allow me to pose a few questions of my own. They are not aimed at the overtly racist but at us common people who are against racism. Set aside all your political grievances and consider these.

1. Why do fair-skinned people, like caucasians, tend to get better treatment on Asian airlines, hotels and restaurants than darker-skinned ones?

2. Why do some pregnant Asian women overload themselves with soya bean drinks with the hope that their babies would come out white?

3. Why do many Asian men exhibit a preference for women with fair skin?

4. Why do advertising models, both men and women, often have fairer skin than the others in their clan?

5. Why do fair skinned children get better treatment in school than the darker skinned ones? (This is from my own experience, being born with fairer skin than my siblings)

6. Why are skin whitening creams and lotions such hot sellers in Asia?

7. Why are there more Asian race-based or clan-based associations in existence than non-Asian?

8. If we are so proud of our "unique" cultures, why do we get so alarmed when people build their identities tightly around these "unique" cultures? (Somehow unique cultures almost always translate to different language or skin colour.)

I'll be careful not to generalize because believe it or not, colour-blind people do exist even though rare. My questions are derived from personal experience - what I see, hear and experience from small till today. You might recognize one or two, maybe more if you are Michael Jackson but I am trying to understand it from the perspective of individual behavior, not political ideology. I'd like to think that the reasons why a pregnant mother downs 5 pints of soya milk a day as more practical than ideological.

While you're digesting the questions, I invite you to read this site called "A world of differences" that discusses racial origins in positive and rational terms.

(Ah, just as I finished writing this, a Mkini article "Justice served in 'racial prejudice' case" came in about a case in Hong Kong where the late Malaysian Indian lawyer Harinder Veriah "felt that she was at the "bottom of the pile" in receiving treatment for a grand mal epileptic fit at Ruttonjee Hospital in Hong Kong, because of her skin colour." Looks like even in liberal capitalist Hong Kong, they believe your skin colour determines how you should be treated.)