An finely-crafted sword in an elegant, archaic style. In certain lights, the silvery blade has a greenish sheen. Written in a flowing script down its length is its true name (requires literacy in the language of the Fey to read): The Last Green Leaf Before Autumn.
A wielder who knows Emerald Ember’s true name can activate its power. As an action, the sword can be effortlessly thrust into the trunk of a living, full-grown tree and when it is withdrawn, the blade will be wreathed verdant, smokeless fire that sheds light as bright as a torch. Creatures that are negatively affected by sunlight are similarly harmed by the light of these green flames.
While the green flames burn, Emerald Ember deals an additional die of damage to all foes. When doubles are rolled for damage, the target of the attack catches on fire. Targets on fire take suffer a die of damage at the start of every turn until the flames are extinguished.
The flames last for 1d6 rounds or until the wielder’s command to stop.
The tree into which Emerald Ember was plunged dies and immediately begins to wither, its lifeforce consumed by the blade.
Large undead (beast) Hit Dice: 6d10 (33 hp); saves as a fighter. Immune to poison and disease, resistant to cold, vulnerable to fire. Armor Class: High (unfeeling flesh + high dexterity) Movement: As a normal, unencumbered human. A necromanticore can use their move action to leap 30 feet long or 15 feet high. Demeanor: Arrogant, intelligent, and cruel. Attack:
Claws +8 (2d8 damage, if doubles are rolled, the target is pinned to the ground) OR
Bite +6 (2d4 damage; against pinned targets, the necromanticore has advantage on the attack roll) OR
Tail Stinger +6 (10 ft. reach, 1d6 damage and target must succeed a Constitution saving throw or become paralyzed with excruciating pain. Every round, the target must make another Constitution saving throw; on a success, they shake off the effects of the venom, but take another 1d6 damage on a failure.)
Special:
Devour Souls: Whenever a necromanticore slays a living creature, it absorbs their spiritual essence, gaining a number of hit points equal to the slain creature’s hit dice. A creature whose soul has been devoured cannot be revived until the necromanticore has been slain (but it could be reanimated).
Spellcasting: As an action, the necromanticore can sacrifice 1d6 hit points to cast one of the following spells:
Black Breath – The necromanticore exhales a 20-foot-radius cloud of dark vapor that lasts for a number of rounds equal to the hit points spent to cast it. A living creature that enters the cloud must succeed a Charisma saving throw or be sapped of their will to live, suffering disadvantage on all rolls. Once they leave the cloud, they can attempt the saving throw again.
Dead Can Dance – The necromanticore can reanimate a number of corpses or skeletons equal to the hit points spent to cast the spell. These creatures are mindless servants obedient only to the necromanticore that created them. If the necromanticore is slain, they immediately revert back to being inanimate.
Dolorous Demand – The necromanticore issues a command to a creature it can see within 30 feet. The command can contain a number of words equal to the hit points spent to cast it. The target can choose to resist the spell, but will suffer 2d6 damage as blood trickles from their ears and nose.
Ghostflame – Eerie blue flames erupt from the ground to a height of 10 feet, creating a wall with a length of 10 feet per hit point spent to cast it. Ghostflame burns cold, dealing 1d10 damage to living creatures who touch it, even those who are protected from fire. Undead creatures are not harmed. This spell lasts for up to 1 minute, or can be dismissed by the necromanticore. It also ends immediately when the necromanticore is slain.
Spectral Flight – The necromanticore disappears into the spectral realm for up to a number rounds equal to the hit points spent to cast the spell. The necromanticore can attempt to pull a creature along with it, but the target can resist it with a successful Strength saving throw.
A terrible foe armed with bestial strength and profane magic.
When I was a kid, there was a local TV station – WNUV-54 – that would reliably broadcast schlocky movies on Saturday afternoons. I’m talkin’ Cannon Group, Golan-Globus and Dino Di Laurentiis productions, stuff like that.
This heady, B-grade brew is part of my Appendix N, presented in no particular order.
1. LEGEND (1985)
Ridley Scott’s very next movie after Blade Runner. Of course, I didn’t know who he was when I first saw Legend, when I was like, 6? 7? I couldn’t care less about the leads (played by Tom Cruise and Mia Sara), but holy shit, Tim Curry’s Lord of Darkness whips ass. All of Rob Bottin’s make-up work is great; I was terrified of Meg Mucklebones.
I much prefer the original cut with the Tangerine Dream soundtrack.
2. THE BEASTMASTER (1982)
The dirtbag cousin to Conan the Barbarian (and I mean that in the best way possible). Tanya Roberts provides some cheesecake, Rip Torn snarls his way through every scene, and some poor bastard gets melted by a mothman.
The sequels are all garbage though.
3. CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981)
This stands for movies with Ray Harryhausen effects in general. The Sinbad movies, Jason and the Argonauts, The Mysterious Island – they all hold up today. Harryhausen once said, “If you make things too real, sometimes you bring it down to the mundane.” Useful advice for the elf-game trade.
I would much rather watch this than the turgid remake from 2010.
4. KRULL (1983)
As a kid, I thought the glaive (what the movie called the five-bladed boomerang in Ken Marshall’s hand above) was rad as hell and wished it got used more.
5. CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) / CONAN THE DESTROYER (1984) / RED SONJA (1985)
John Milius is a maniac, but he understood the assignment. Basil Poledouris’ soundtrack goes so hard. The script is eminently quotable.
Conan the Destroyer is a weaker film, but in a way, it’s a good depiction of a D&D adventuring party and their shenanigans. My favorite bit of trivia about Destroyer is that Andre the Giant played the monster Dagoth.
I love this picture. Schwarzenegger looks like a normal sized dude.
I have heard that Red Sonja was supposed to be an official Conan sequel, but there were issues with the rights or whatever. So, Schwarzenegger’s character is not Conan, but he’s totally Conan.
6. THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER (1982)
A deep cut featuring one of the goofiest things you’ll ever see in a goofy genre – the Sky Sword, a sword with two extra blades that shoot off like guided missiles. Incredible.
I distinctly remember the bad guy’s creepy overly-long fingers.
This is the same actor as Bull from “Night Court.”
What a time to be alive – you’d get up at 7 AM, watch cartoons for about 4, 4 and a half, hours straight. Then you’d just change the channel and watch dudes wreck other dudes with swords until your mom shooed you outside, where you’d reenact what you just watched with your friends.
Goblins keep all kinds of weird stuff in their pockets.
Roll 1d30: 1 – Bag of Assorted Teeth: Stained pouch full of teeth from an unknown number of species. 1-in-100 chance of pulling out a gold tooth. 2 – Barghest Frock: Hooded garment seemingly made from mangy dog-hides. Protects like light/leather armor and grants the ability to transform into a large black canine. In either form, the wearer has glowing red eyes. 3 – Battle Vest: Really a sturdy jacket with the sleeves cut off, decorated with spikes and garish embroidery. Doesn’t provide any protection, but makes the wearer feel like a badass. 4 – Bloodhound Baslard: When this long knife is spun around on a flat surface (like the floor or a table-top), it will point in the direction of the last creature it stabbed when it stops spinning. 5 – Choke Smoke Grenades: A net bag containing 1d3+2 glass spheres full of oily yellow-green fluid. When the fluid comes into contact with air, it turns into a rapidly-expanding cloud of noxious gas that irritates the eyes and lungs of living creatures. The spheres are small enough to be used as sling ammunition. 6 – Crimson Coin: Red-tinged gold coin that’s oddly heavy for its size. Anyone who sees you flip the coin into the air is instantly seized with a ravenous desire to have it. 7 – Double Crossbow: Can fire twice, sequentially or simultaneously, before needing to reload. Each trigger mechanism has a 2-in-20 chance of jamming; if both mechanisms jam at the same time, the weapon falls apart.
8 – Eldritch Revenge Centipede: A bronze bracelet realistically wrought to look like a centipede. If the wearer is slain by the action of another creature, the centipede activates, seeking out the killer to deliver a fatal dose of venom. 9 – Filcher’s Fittocks: Grimy, unfashionable footwear that muffle all sounds of the wearer while in motion, but they are infested with fleas. If they’re ever washed, they lose their noise-cancelling property. 10 – Fill-in-the-Blank Curse Tablet: Legal pad-sized slab of dark gray metal covered with arcane diagrams and script. Someone with knowledge of the occult can identify it as a request to inflict grave misfortune, all it needs to work is for the target’s name to be engraved in the right place and the blood of requester spilled on the activation glyph. 11 – Firecrackers: 2d12 explosive noisemakers and 1 minute worth of fuse. Not powerful enough to do damage, but will ignite flammable materials. 12 – Fog Lamp: Feebly glows when lit. The area that would be illuminated instead fills with chill, sight-obscuring mist. 13 – Goblin Liquor: Unlabeled bottle of potent, bittersweet booze. If a non-goblin drinks enough to black out, they wake turned into a goblin. 14 – Hooligan Hatchet: Goblin-made mash-up of an axe, a hammer, and a crowbar. 15 – Instant Pit: Looks like a rolled-up carpet. When unfurled on solid ground, it becomes a circular pit 10 feet wide and 10 feet deep. Can only be rolled up again if it’s empty.
16 – Jar of Magic Lard: An object or creature slathered in the stuff can fit through any opening of at least 1 square inch; effect wears off in an hour or until washed off. Contains enough applications to cover 8 goblin-sized creatures. 17 – Know-it-Alls: Tortoiseshell spectacles that comically magnify the wearer’s eyes without affecting their vision. Others perceive the wearer as being highly intelligent. (They do not actually increase intelligence.) 18 – Moondust: Pouch of fine silvery dust. Sprinkle it on something to make it levitate while moonlight shines on it. Only enough to use once. 19 – Mushroom Cap: Chunky knit stocking cap infiltrated with mycellium. If left in a damp, dark place, it will produce one edible mushroom per hour; there’s a 1-in-10 chance a mushroom will be hallucinogenic as well. 20 – Nunchucks: A light melee weapon consisting of a pair of hardwood rods joined together by a short length of chain. 21 – Rat-Tail Belt: Braided out of severed rat tails. The wearer doesn’t suffer ill effects from consuming spoiled or tainted food or drink. 22 – Rattleback Shawl: Made from the hide of a dire porcupine. When danger is imminent, the spines start clattering. 23 – Seelie Spanner: Crescent wrench forged from faintly iridescent metal. Seems to always fit whatever sized bolt it’s meant to turn. 24 – Sketchy Meat Pies: 1d4 meat pies wrapped in a grease-stained bandana. Can be eaten as is, but are better warmed up. Tasty and filling, but not made from the best ingredients or under ideal sanitary conditions; creatures with sensitive stomachs will have some trouble. 25 – Spiked Club: Hefty wooden truncheon studded with iron nails, wrapped with wire to keep it from splitting. 26 – Taxidermized Parrot: With this stuffed bird perched on their shoulder, a person can make their voice emanate from any other place they can see. 27 – Thousand-Year-Old Sword: Has an antique, lead-shaped blade; well-balanced and still razor sharp. Probably stolen from a pissed-off elf lord. Also possibly sentient. 28 – Tinker’s Friend: A vial full of metallic gray powder. When mixed with water it forms a quick-hardening paste for mending cracks and filling small holes in metal objects. There’s enough for six applications. 29 – Thunderbuss: Musket-like weapon with a stubby, bell-shaped muzzle. Fires a booming shockwave in a close-ranged conical burst. Can be used 6 times before it needs to be recharged by being struck by lightning. 30 – Witch’s Eye: Eyeball floating in a sealed vial of murky liquid. Protects the bearer from magical surveillance. But, the witch can still see out of it.
from “The Garden of Earthly Delights,” by Hieronymous Bosch
Large outsider (demon) Hit Dice: 5d8 (22 hp); saves as a magic-user. Miczariel is immune to poison and disease Armor Class: Medium (Otherworldly flesh + above average dexterity) Movement: Twice as fast as an unencumbered human. Demeanor: Placid, unflappable. Miczariel is immune to all mind-affecting spells or effects unless explicitly addressed as “Miczariel.” Miczariel understands all spoken languages but doesn’t speak. Instead, it can communicate telepathically with any creature it can see within 30 feet. Attack: Unarmed strike + 3 (1d6 damage) x 4 Special – Fruit barrage: As its action, Miczariel hurls rotten fruit at up to 4 visible targets within 60 feet: a ranged attack with a +3 bonus. A target struck by a fruit must make a Constitution saving throw. If they succeed, the target is temporarily nauseated by the stench (suffers disadvantage on rolls until the start of their next turn). A target that fails the saving throw is overcome with ecstatic mania; for 1 minute or until Miczariel is slain, roll 1d6 at the start of the target’s turn to determine their behavior: 1 – Strip off all clothing and lope around on all fours making animal sounds. 2 – Falls to their knees and begins rambling in tongues. 3 – Charges at full speed in a straight line and attacks the first target encountered. 4 – Attempts to climb as high as possible and jumps. 5 – Appears to be lucid but experiencing vivid hallucinations. (If you’ve got nothing else, roll on a completely unrelated random encounter table.) 6 – A moment of relative lucidity; can act normally albeit with disadvantage on any rolls.
Miczariel is a tempter, appearing to mortals experiencing a crisis of health, offering a miraculous cure in exchange for some service. The fruit it bears can heal any wound or ailment, grant fertility, restore vigor or youth. It can even bring someone back from the brink of death. (The fruit cannot resurrect someone who is already dead, however.)
Of course, it’s a ruse – the fruit does nothing; it’s the power of Miczariel that provides the cure. Should Miczariel’s physical form be destroyed, or if it’s banished from the mortal world, whatever effect the fruit provided ends immediately an whoever ate the fruit is returned to their prior condition.
The ritual to summon Miczariel requires an owl egg to be planted in the ground, then watered with blood over the course of three nights. On the third night, which must coincide with the full moon, the egg will swell to enormous size and hatch, revealing Miczariel.
At No Land Beyond’s Flagons & Dragons last night, I played my first game of Shadowdark, a relatively new B/X-derived dungeon crawling game.
Five adventurers entered a ruined fortress rumored to be haunted by a monstruous scarlet minotaur, the citadel’s last ruler, cursed by Oros the Bull-god. They were Tilly the wizard, Gabba the goblin, the priests Eli and Ord, and Jyles the thief.
Initially, the ruins seemed deserted; no one or thing greeted the party upon their opening the doors of a southern entrance. But, when Tilly discovered a silver bull horn hidden behind a mosaic, a hissing sound from above alerted the group to a humanoid creature with arachnid features clinging to the ceiling, eight eyes locked on the object in Tilly’s hand. Even after an arrow from Jyles’ bow dropped it to the floor, the being remained fixated on the silver horn, mumbling the word “Treasure…”
It reached out a hand towards Tilly, whereupon Gabba ran up and sliced it off with his trusty cleaver. The creature scuttled off with a shriek and Gabba took the severed the limb as a trophy. The party moved on to the next room, but before Jyles used an iron spike to secure the door through which the spider-creature had fled.
The next chamber appeared to be a store room – stoppered terracotta jars were piled in the corners. Somewhat disconcerting was the sulfurous smell and hissing sound emanating from them. Of the two doors in this chamber, the most intriguing was the one with “RIP Orwin the Younger” carved into it. On the other side of it, Jyles found a life-sized bronze statue of a bull pinning a corpse – presumably the late Orwin the Younger – to a wall. It seems that the statue was a devious (and brutal) trap and Orwin’s comrades, unable to extricate the body, made the room into a tomb. Orwin’s loss was the party’s gain: from the body they scored some sundry adventuring gear and Jyles found a silver locket containing an inscription and a picture of red-haired woman.
Moving on, the next room was decorated with murals depicting people making offerings of gold and grain under the watch of bronze-armored soldiers. Two niches each held a wide bowl; after examining the murals, Gabba tossed a coin into one of the bowls and immediately felt like his luck had changed for the better (the GM awarded Gabba’s player a luck token). It was only then that Gabba noticed a figure cowering behind the bowl. The sole survivor of another adventuring party, he urged the group to leave.
But Gabba was having none of it; with a toothy grin, he dubbed the foundling his “canary” and made him walk at the front. The party wended their way through a curving corridor that ended in a bronze door decorated with a bull head. Perhaps trusting his keen senses to suss out any ambushes, Gabba kicked the door in and thrust his erstwhile retainer through the threshold. On the other side of the door was the largest chamber they’d yet encountered. At the far end was a massive black stone statue of a bull, in front of which stood the infamous minotaur, who immediately charged at the adventurers.
Ord was felled by the minotaur’s greataxe, but soon revived by Eli’s healing touch. Tilly sniped from the doorway with magic missiles, while Jyles relied on non-magic ones. Gabba used the “canary” as a ladder from which he jumped onto minotaur’s back and began stabbing with his blades. After Ord whittled down the beast’s life with a sword infused with his holy magic, the minotaur made another charge, trampling over Jyles, Tilly, and the poor bastard Gabba had found. Speaking of the goblin, it was he that struck the killing blow, plunging a sword through the minotaur’s eye while still clinging to his thick neck.
With the threat of the minotaur removed, Eli brought Tilly and Jyles back from the brink of death. Jyles seemed no worse for the wear, but Tilly remained in a daze. As the adventurers began to explore the room, a pack of beastmen burst through a side door. However, when they saw that the minotaur was dead, they hailed the party as heroes.
It was around this time that last call was announced at the bar, so we packed it up for the night.
*****
It was either Tom Fitzgerald or David McGrogan (I can’t find the original quote to cite) who once compared basic D&D to 4-bar blues: the fundamentals were easy to pick up, but could be endlessly iterated and embellished. Playing Shadowdark really reminded me of that. There’s a part of me that enjoys super-crunchy games like 5th edition D&D. (I’ll continue to go to bat for 4th Edition, too. That game was fun.) But I also appreciate being able to throw together a character in less than half an hour let ’em rip.
I didn’t get a chance to look at the full rule book, just one of the copies of the quick-start pamphlets (which you can get for free) the GM provided. Nothing I read jumped out as being unfamiliar; it hews closely to the same B/X framework as Old-School Essentials. One interesting variation is that light sources (torches, light spells, etc.) all last one hour of real time. For example, when I said my character lit a torch, the GM asked me to set a 1-hour timer on my phone. It makes for a new spin on the old “STRICT TIMEKEEPING IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY” canard.
Medium humanoid (reptile) No. Appearing: 2d3+1* raiding party AC: Medium (Scaly hide + average dexterity) HP: 2d10 (11 hp), saves as a fighter Movement: As a normal, unencumbered human on land; twice as fast swimming. River raiders have advantage on all rolls to hide or move stealthily in water. They can hold their breath for 10 minutes. Demeanor: Crass and belligerent; speaks a pidgin of Common and Draconic Attack: By melee weapon +2 (1d8 damage) or bite +2 (1d6 damage; on max damage, the target is grappled). * For every four river raiders, there will be a boss with double the hit dice. Multiple raiding parties may be under the sway of a big boss – a Large-size river raider with quadruple the hit dice
Folk traveling on waterways must plan their routes carefully, or bring armed guards with them, lest they be preyed upon by these reptilian rogues.
Swamp witches, depending on their scruples, maybe in cahoots, or at odds, with them.
I Loot the Body (roll 1d6) 1 – 1d3 meals worth of pickled duck eggs 2 – Bandolier of braided skunk ape scalps 3 – Hand-cranked auger (for drilling holes in hulls) 4 – Heavy hardwood club lined with razor-sharp flint (equivalent to a longsword, requires Strength 13 to wield in one hand) 5 – Fish-leather pouch of freshwater pearls (worth 1d4x50 silver pieces) 6 – Shrunken head; once per day it can emit a terrifying shriek (creatures that hear it must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or faint). Stolen from a swamp witch who probably wants it back.
A suit of armor made from hundreds of jade tiles painstakingly wired together over a layer of padding. Each tile bears a single etched character; together they form a powerful charm of protection (a character that succeeds an Intelligence ability check recognizes this; spellcasters have advantage on the roll).
The suit itself protects as medium armor, but encumbers the wearer as if it was heavy armor. However, it also grants advantage on all saving throws to resist magical spells and abilities. The wearer is also immune to all forms of mind control and possession. The whole suit must be worn to gain the armor’s supernatural protections; removing any piece breaks the charm.
The real value of the armor might just be that it’s made from a small fortune in precious stone.
Fifth d8: Effect (1d4-1 minutes after drinking) 1 – For a number of rounds equal to the sum of all five d8s, the potion drinker is wracked with hiccups. Once per round when they hiccup, they release a cloud of multi-colored bubbles that fill a 10’x10’x10′ cube. When a creature moves through the bubbles, they must succeed a Dexterity saving throw or they pop a bubble, staining them a random color and making a disconcertingly loud “POP”. The bubble cloud drifts around randomly at 5 feet per round. The cloud will dissipate in 1 minute or if 10 creatures pass through it, whichever comes first.
2 – For a number of rounds equal to the sum of all five d8s, the potion drinker becomes powerfully magnetic. While the potion is in effect, the drinker can use their action to draw a metallic object to their hand from up 30 feet away. They can also move across vertical metallic surfaces at half their normal speed. However, attackers have advantage on their attack rolls if made with metallic weapons.
3 – For a number of minutes equal to the sum of all five d8s, the potion drinker emits imperceptible, mood-altering pheromones. Intelligent creatures within a 5-foot radius of the drinker that fail a Constitution saving throw instantly develop a heightened affinity for the drinker. The potion drinker will have advantage on ability to checks to persuade or influence affected creatures. If an affected creature moves outside of the 5-foot radius, it gains a new saving throw at the start of its next turn. The pheromones’ effect ends instantly on a successful saving throw or after one minute of being more than 5 feet from the drinker, which ever comes first.
4 – For one minute, the potion drinker’s facial features become plastic, capable of being molded into another visage. After that minute, the drinker’s face is set for a number of hours equal to the sum of all five d8s. But, during the last hour, the disguise will slowly revert back to the drinker’s original appearance.
5 – The potion drinker doubles over in gastrointestinal distress as they begin excreting a number of chicken egg-sized gold nuggets equal to the sum of all five d8s. It takes 1 minute to pass a nugget.
6 – For a number of minutes equal to the sum of all five d8s, the potion drinker (but not their clothing or gear) shrinks down to the size of common mouse.
7 – For a number of hours equal to the sum of all five d8s, the potion drinker’s remains conscious and able to act, but appears to stop living – no heart beat, no breath, body temperature drops, skin pales and lips turn blue. If the potion drinker closed their eyes, they would be mistaken for a corpse. For the potion’s duration, the drinker is unaffected by poison, disease, hunger, thirst, or lack of breathable air.
8 – Large cysts swell up all over the potion drinker’s body then burst, weeping foul-smelling ichor that instantly hardens into a thick, amber carapace. The carapace will absorb an amount of damage equal to the sum of all five d8s, after which it sloughs off. While the carapace exists, the potion drinker has disadvantage on reaction rolls due to its unpleasant aroma.
Bonus Table: The sum of all 5 d8s also determines the primary color of the potion: 5-8 – Red 9-12 – Orange 13-16 – Yellow 17-20 – Green 21-24 – Blue 25-28 – Purple 29-32 – Pink 33-36 – Brown 37-40 – Black
In a remote, forgotten ruin, behind a door with a complicated lock or a crumbling stone wall, is a chamber with wildly different architecture – a room of gleaming surfaces and smooth lines made of unknown materials. Occupying much of the space inside is a device from another age, maybe even another world.
Should a PC cross the threshold into the room, a wall-mounted screen will flash to life:
On the device itself, a console with an array of buttons, switches, and dials blinks alluringly. Should a character start pressing buttons and flipping switches, just roll 3d6 and apply the result to a random target. Characters with knowledge of history, science, or technology can make an Intelligence check; with a success, they gain Advantage on the 3d6 roll.
Someone who actually takes the time to study the device before activating it might gain enough insight to control the device’s output. (For every 8 hours spent researching, a character can roll an additional d6 and drop the lowest when determining what the device does.)
3
Energetic Corporeal Transubstantiation
Every molecule in the target’s body is accelerated to the speed of light (instant death, no resurrection possible).
4
Capacitator Discharge Cascade
Target is electrocuted (10d6 damage; for every 6 rolled, roll another d6). If the target suffers 30 or more damage and doesn’t die, they gain temporary knowledge of how the encabulator works (one time, they can roll 4d6 and drop the lowest die).
5
Entropic Acceleration
Target’s age category increases by one (child to adult, adult to mature, mature to elderly, elderly to dead).
6
Telomeric Retrogradation
Target’s age category decreases by one (elderly to mature, mature to adult, adult to child, child to infancy).
7
Genomic Transmogrification
Target’s species is randomly changed to another intelligent humanoid. (If elves or catpeople or whatever don’t exist in your world, well, they do now.)
8
Physiological Recapitulation
Target’s ability scores are randomly reassigned. Any physical or mental disability is removed. Target’s height, weight, and hair and eye color all change as well.
9
Total Cellular Recombination
Target rerolls their hitpoint maximum. Any chronic or permanent injury is removed, as well as all distinguishing marks (like tattoos or scars).
10
Volatile Aesthetic Prosthesis
Target’s physical appearance is altered according to their specifications for 3d8 hours, after which they revert to normal in a startling transformation.
11
Mimetic Implant
Target gains proficiency in a selected skill for 2d6 hours, but then the knowledge begins to fade – for another 2d6 hours, the target is proficient but makes skill checks with disadvantage. After that, the skill is forgotten.
12
Orgone Infusion
Target’s hitpoint maximum increases as if they gained a level. (Multiple infusions can cause mutation.)
13
Proprioceptor Enhancement
Target gains advantage on Initiative checks and a 33% increase to movement speed. However, the target suffers from poor impulse control and nervous tics. Every subsequent enhance increases movement speed, but doubles the amount of food the target has to eat each day.
14
Sensorium Upconversion
Target gains advantage on all Perception checks, nightvision, and immunity to being flanked. However, the target also suffers from increased sensitivity to bright light and loud noises. A second upconversion grants the target ESP, but they have to concentrate to not hear other people’s thoughts. A third upconversion grants them limited precognition (once per day they gain Advantage on a roll, or inflict Disadvantage on someone else’s roll), but also gain a random insanity.
15
Heurisitic Recalibration
Target gains 1d6 points to distribute across their mental attributes/ability scores. (Multiple recalibrations will cause insanity.)
16
Somatic Reintegration
Target gains 1d6 points to distribute across their physical attributes/ability scores. (Multiple reintegrations will cause mutation.)
17
Simulacrum Instantiation
The device creates a clone of the target that has identical physical and mental attributes and abilities, but not their memories. The clone will last for 1d4+3 days before melting.
18
Full Encabulation
Target’s body is replaced with a synthetic replica that requires no sleep and no longer ages. Distribute 3d6 points across all their attribute/ability scores. The target no longer needs to eat food, but must ingest matter to repair damage to the body. The target can longer benefit from the encabulator, but has advantage on all rolls to operate the device.
Now, you may be asking “What is the encabulator for, really?”
Well, it’s been said that the purpose of a system is what it does. The encabulator is for facilitating PC shenanigans; I mean, sure you can come up with some bullshit that jives with your game’s lore. But really, it’s just for the players to push their luck and hopefully not get vaporized.
Peril and Plunder 
