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- BREAKING: The Conservatives and the People’s Party have finalized a deal that will see them both out of power until 2025, with an option to extend.
- The Ontario government says it has no choice but to pass a bill preventing a strike, because kids need to be in school so they can grow up, get jobs, and have their Charter rights taken away.
- Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron sign bilateral agreement to only gossip about Trump in French from now on.
- Trudeau under fire from Quebecois journalists for not repeating his 21-second pause in French.
- When all else fails, invoke the Emergencies Act!
00:00 - Doug Ford introduces new stay-at-home orders to a province that thought they were under strict stay-at-home orders.
- Trump says there is “no political necessity” for Canada to be in NAFTA. Canada responds that there’s no political necessity for Trump to be in the White House.
- Dr. Anthony Fauci says keeping U.S. border closed may keep a lid on coronavirus numbers. “WE KNOW!” said the entire country of Canada.
- Andrew Scheer is the only party leader who skipped today's #climatestrike, but he insists he's doing his part by recycling Stephen Harper's campaign platform. #Compromise2019
- It’s impossible to pay the rent while working a full-time job for minimum wage, according to groundbreaking new research called math.
- Pierre Poilievre gets a killer endorsement.
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