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Annie Hamilton
@ANNIE_HAM
@soimwritinganovel on insta
nytimes.com/2022/01/08/sty…
Joined April 2009
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36.5K
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jan 13, 2020
    a story I should tell more: my hottie NYU babysitter (from ages 6-11) resurfaced in my life when I moved to LA, hired me as HER child's babysitter, and then fired me because there was too much “sexual tension” between us. not my fault! shes the one who showed me Amelie! shut up!
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    May 24, 2020
    Dated a guy in a frat who had a playlist entitled “if girls show up”
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jun 5, 2020
    Brilliantly put.
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Dec 22, 2024
    The point of writing is to get laid. The point of anything is to get laid but not everyone knows that. My articles have been published, but no man has presented himself. Men present themselves, but not good ones. I check my DMs and I do not like what I find.
    863K
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jul 5, 2022
    in 9th grade they took us on a class field trip to see "an inconvenient truth" in imax & a total of 3 blow jobs were given to/from my peers (everywhere I looked). that nite I had Jamba Juice, never having been kissed, and I felt old, older than I do now; the oldest Ive ever felt
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jun 28, 2021
    Girl from college who Mr Ripley’d my ass (befriended me, stole my style, then hooked up w my boyfriend) got tik tok famous over quarantine and it makes me want to die ❤️
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Dec 12, 2020
    HAVING A CRUSH IS JUST BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR OWN MANIA
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Mar 20, 2020
    1 time I had sex w a celeb and the 1st thing I did was sign an NDA and after IT was over he took a “phone call” in the bathroom and I waited for 30 min, positioning myself in sexy ways.. he came out & mouthed “time to go.” I tell this story a lot & he prob doesnt remember my face
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Feb 16, 2020
    EVERYONE WANTS ME TO DRINK BUT NOBODY WANTS ME TO BE DRUNK
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Dec 21, 2020
    My Uber driver forgot he has therapy and is currently taking the session over speaker phone......
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jul 6, 2022
    in 2007 "1234" by Feist was bumping at the 72nd street urban outfitters while the cops handcuffed me and took me to jail
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jan 20, 2025
    RIP to the year 2000 when we had "computer class" and the first lesson plan was "google your parents" day. I raised my hand, typed up my dads info, and promptly projected my fathers sexual harassment case onto the classroom wall. good way to find out about it tbh. I wasnt alone
    67K
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Aug 27, 2022
    a big part of judaism is being taught not to get on a motorcycle
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    Annie Hamilton
    @ANNIE_HAM
    Jan 31, 2021
    “Unsending” a message on Instagram is the most unhinged thing you can do