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Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale
Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus
Alex Blechman
7,977 posts
Alex Blechman
@AlexBlechman
Writer, game designer x Staff Writer @TheOnion & @ClickHole Stuff for Jackbox Games, High On Life, Starship Troopers: TC, Saints Row, other places
Joined June 2014
- H.P. Lovecraft: Your limited human mind cannot comprehend Cthulhu Me: (comprehending easily) Squid guy
- Programming is chaotic magic. There are no rules. You ask a game dev “Can the player summon a giant demon that bursts from the ground in an explosion of lava?” and they’ll say “sure, that’s easy” and then you’ll ask “can the player wear a scarf?” and they’ll go “oof”
- Imagine how much it would cost to hire LeBron James to write content for your website. Imagine miraculously getting him to do it for free. Imagine then driving him away from your website so you can fail to collect $96 from him annuallyWelp guess my blue ✔️ will be gone soon cause if you know me I ain’t paying the 5. 🤷🏾♂️
- Be careful online today. This is the one day a year when people post false information on the internet
- Elden Ring is fun because after surviving a shattered dying world abandoned by grace it's nice to unwind by playing a video game
- Twitter Engineer: I resigned because they wanted me to work 80 hours making a bluecheck system that lets anyone pose as Burger King and say the Burger King demands droit du seigneur Reply Guy: Good riddance slacker. I could do your job. I am pretty good at Microsoft Office
- Eccentric Millionaire: I’ve invited you to my private island because I crave the deadliest game... Me: (nodding) Knife Monopoly Eccentric Millionaire: I was actually going to hunt you for sport, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is
- Friend: You gotta read this manga, it’s amazing. It has been published continuously since 1985 in 162 books that will cost you $7000
- *John Wick enters a clock store* Shopkeeper: Welcome, Mr. Wick *He presses a button. Secret shelves flip to reveal the most obscene hentai* Shopkeeper: Ah shit, wrong button *he presses again, shelves flip to reveal a wall of guns* John Wick: Flip it back
- Jackie Chan fought a bunch of bad guys in my house but he was careful to avoid breaking all my precious vases. I’m so relieved
