My aunt got a divorce and I asked how she felt and she said “I thought I had an anxiety disorder but it turns out it was just your uncle”
Amy Silverberg
38.7K posts
Amy Silverberg
@AmySilverberg
Writer & Comedian!!! Pre-order my debut novel here: hachettebookgroup.com/titles/amy-sil…
- When I was 14, my mom said I should NOT wait until marriage to have sex —I didn’t even need to wait for love. Her advice was to only have sex with people who respected me. I don’t have a punchline, I just think if more moms said this to their daughters life would be easier.
- just had zoom office hours and a student asked if he could have a tour of my apartment
- My bf and I got corndogs today and he said “this is the best part about having a girlfriend—you have someone to get a corndog with” and I was like damn that’s true
- One time a writer friend of mine got too drunk and sobbed bc she said there were too many books in the world she wouldn’t have time to read, and this guy down the bar said, ladies—he isn’t worth it and my friend yelled IM CRYING ABOUT BOOKS and that shut the guy up
- “The woman had aged: she was 28 and had lost all passion” - my student writing a story to hurt my feelings
- Working at a coffee shop and the woman next to me has been staring at a blank document with the word "Dissertation" for last two hours
- The biggest act of love u can do for ur parents is let them tell u the same pointless story over and over
- Just heard a man say “look at the moon — I’m a big moon guy”
- My friend Rachel just texted me that last night she had sex with the guy who delivered her a McFlurry and then didn’t respond to a single follow up question (I asked 15)
- Every man I’ve been with who has a large penis has also had little to no social media following 🤔 makes u think
- Sorry can’t concentrate on anything today. They found the longest weiner dog.
- In the past, any time I’ve written a pros and cons list for a relationship it’s been v bad news. The pros are always like “cute! funny!” And the cons are always like “can’t sleep next to this person; I have a sinking feeling when around him; I long for something else”
- Girls don’t want boyfriends, girls just want cheap midcentury modern furniture
