Ariel Elias
2,141 posts
Ariel Elias
@Ariel_Comedy
Threads: ariel_comedy
Bluesky: arielcomedy
- Anytime I have to show proof of vaccination and my ID, I wish they had just microchipped me.
- Replying to @Ariel_ComedyFwiw the club is pressing charges against the guy and booked me to come back in April.
- Tomatoes are the most patriotic plant. Because botanically, tomatoes are a fruit. But according to an 1893 Supreme Court ruling, they're a vegetable. And there's nothing more American than a legal decision that disagrees with science.
- I'd really appreciate it if anyone could please just let my teachers know that chugging a beer has in fact been great for my career.
- To answer the most obvious question, yes, I did pick up what was left of the beer and chug it.An audience member threw a full beer at @Ariel_Comedy’s head mid-set and it was not fun in any way shape or form but she closed it out like a fucking champ and that’s the only kind of actual brave I’ve ever seen a comedian be
- My rapid test turned positive so quickly it actually felt rude.
- After my set, Jimmy Kimmel asked if my career had gotten a bump from all this. I was like, yeah, actually, I just did Kimmel.
- Yesterday, all I had to do was write three sentences, so instead I baked for five hours.
- Stop asking Jewish people when Hanukkah is. We don't know.
- Here's the set!The stand-up comedian who dodged (and drank!) a MAGA beer can makes her late night debut! @Ariel_Comedy
00:00 - We could have prevented this Sex And The City reboot by simply voting for Cynthia Nixon for governor. There is blood on all of our hands.
- Mostly jealous that the UK can take 6 weeks to realize that they've made a mistake but women in the US can't.
- So we're clear, I'm still writing jokes about the beer can incident not because I'm trying to capitalize on it, or bc I think that's all I have going for me. but because it was a genuine trauma that I'm still processing (I didn't sleep for 4 days) and I do that by making jokes.
