Log inSign up
Image
user avatar
Bizarre Lazar
@BizarreLazar
Internet Guy | Rubber of elbows | Eater of sandwiches | Starter of slow claps
Az
Joined March 2009
12.1K
Following
47.4K
Followers
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Oct 14, 2023
    This his how much things should cost: Iced tea: $1 Sandwich: $6 Soup: $4 Shirt: $8 Pants: $15 Jacket: $25 Genuine leather jacket: $100 Car: $15,000 Truck: $22,000 House: $180,000 Doctors visit: $0 Imaging: $0 Specialist: $0 ER visit: $0 Surgery: $0 Long term hospital stay: $0
    6.4M
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    May 9, 2022
    I’ve been on Twitter since 2009. I’m just now realizing the home button is a bird house.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Oct 2, 2022
    This is the only advertisement this window installer ever needs to use.
    Image
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Oct 14, 2021
    You don’t have a staffing problem. You have a management problem.
    Image
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Jun 1, 2020
    Experiment Update - Well it finally happened. Took longer than expected. 12 hour suspension and had to delete the offending tweet. Here’s the screenshots @SuspendThePres. Will post to the account when suspension is lifted.
    Image
    Image
    Image
    Image
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Oct 27, 2022
    The Hunger Games but you take the the 24 richest billionaires in the country and make them compete. Only the winner gets to remain a billionaire. The rest have to donate anything over a billion to education, housing, and healthcare.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Apr 25, 2021
    If you put back the $9.34 chicken to grab the $8.87 pack then you don’t need to worry about Biden’s new capital gains taxes.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Apr 5, 2022
    Pretty sure Elon just spent $3B in order to ban the account of that kid who tracks his flights.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    May 9, 2022
    Replying to @BizarreLazar
    Now when I press the home button I want to see a little bird fly into it and I will accept nothing less.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    May 10, 2022
    Replying to @BizarreLazar
    Everyday. For 13 years. I’ve tapped that button. Not once did I question it. This changes everything and also nothing at all.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Aug 2, 2023
    Burn everything
    Image
    403K
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Nov 8, 2020
    The perfect Venn diagram does exist
    Image
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Oct 14, 2021
    Replying to @BizarreLazar
    Clarification: not my text. Just posted as a prime example of what exactly is wrong with our current employment practices. This person is a legend.
  • user avatar
    Bizarre Lazar
    @BizarreLazar
    Oct 14, 2023
    Replying to @OGBeefJones and @fuckyouiquit
    Hondas and Toyotas a fucking rad man you’re missing out
    261K