Log inSign up
Image
user avatar
Raphael V Chestang
@ChestangRaphael
Raphael Vargas Chestang | Former @CollegeHumor cast member | TikTok: @RaphaelChestang | he/him
Los Angeles, CA
linktr.ee/RaphaelVargasC…
Joined March 2017
425
Following
24.6K
Followers
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Jan 14, 2020
    FOUR has a “u” to differentiate from the preposition FOURTEEN has a “u” for consistency FORTY has no “u” because fuck you. That’s why, you fucking fuck face fucker. HahAhaHAhaha You’re lucky I don’t frame you for murder you piece of shit FOUR HUNDRED is self-explanatory
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Jan 7, 2021
    Lester Holt claimed no one could have seen this coming and was immediately owned 😂
    Image
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Feb 3, 2020
    Unemployment is going extremely well
    This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Jun 3, 2019
    Lying to get your kid into a good college: -selfish -psychotic -inexcusable Lying to get your dog into a new apartment: -honorable -heroic -the only option when you really think about it
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Feb 2, 2022
    If you’re white and want to say the n-word, might I suggest learning how to say our names first? Everybody wants to say “nigga.” Nobody wants to say Chiwetel Ejiofor
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Nov 14, 2019
    Shark Fact No. 344: Sharks are noble creatures. Every shark COULD live on land but they CHOOSE not to, because of how we treat our women
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Jan 8, 2020
    My friends and I were laid off today, which is bad for us but good for you, b/c you can now hire them! Contact @GrantOB @LilyD @ryguyguyry Jessica Ross @jacuzzitubbs @KatieMarovitch @tyang209 @LukeRobot @rekhalshankar @MikeWTrapp @BrennanLM @agbeardsley for all your comedy needs!
    user avatar
    Sam Reich
    @samreich
    Jan 8, 2020
    So, bad news – with a twist. 
IAC, our parent company, has made the difficult decision to no longer finance us. Today, 100+ brilliant people lost their jobs, some of whom are my dear, dear friends. Hire them. (thread)
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Apr 17, 2019
    Google: “An adult brown bear weighs between 180-1,300 lbs.” Me: “Did you mean: I don’t know”
    Image
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Mar 21, 2019
    If the forbidden fruit had been honeydew, we’d still be in the Garden of Eden today
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Aug 25, 2019
    We gotta start calling it Father Earth so lawmakers believe it’s really dying
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Apr 7, 2020
    I know I’m cool and don’t like drama, but if I don’t get a kiss rn, I’ll die
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Nov 15, 2019
    Shark Fact No. 816: Punching a shark in the nose deters attack because it is rude and sharks believe that eating a rude person would mean consuming their rude soul, thus turning them rude
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Feb 11, 2021
    Hire @KatieMarovitch, goddamnit!She’s a joy, you assholes!!
  • user avatar
    Raphael V Chestang
    @ChestangRaphael
    Mar 6, 2020
    Shark Fact No. 39: Sharks have EIGHT senses — taste, touch, sight, smell, hearing, humor, common and fashion