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Dan Amira
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Dan Amira
@DanAmira
Head writer, Daily Show. RT = Randy Travis. All opinions expressed here reflect the views of Randy Travis. [email protected]
nyc
Joined June 2009
1,962
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  • Pinned
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Oct 11, 2023
    This is a piece I wrote for the New Yorker about all the sick fucks who can’t stop thinking about the Roman Empire
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    The New Yorker Humor
    The New Yorker
    @newyorkerhumor
    Oct 11, 2023
    8:30 a.m.—I hop on the L train for my commute to work. 8:32 a.m.—It occurs to me that if the L were a subway in the Roman Empire it would be called the 50 train. I chuckle. nyer.cm/BaIMpVz
    34K
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Oct 19, 2020
    Weird that Dr. Fauci has worked under 6 presidents and has never needed a security detail before
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    60 Minutes
    CBS News
    @60Minutes
    Oct 18, 2020
    Once an avid runner, Dr. Anthony Fauci, now 79, power walks. Since receiving death threats, he is now accompanied by a security detail. cbsn.ws/37kcHA2
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    00:00
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Jan 6, 2021
    Can’t believe the creators of the monster have lost control of the monster, is there any precedent for this in books or film
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    May 13, 2020
    REAL men don’t need a MASK when we go to the store because we’re not SCARED. All we need is an ASSAULT RIFLE and maybe a ROCKET LAUNCHER in case the YOGURT tries anything STUPID
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Apr 3, 2018
    I used to think the government was bad, but now I think it is good
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Mar 22, 2023
    This is officially the whitest trial of all time
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    New York Post
    @nypost
    Mar 22, 2023
    Gwyneth Paltrow ski crash victim can’t enjoy wine tastings due to injuries, expert says trib.al/qf1WVBQ
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    4.9M
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Jul 17, 2023
    I decided today that I’m going to see if I can find the restaurant with the highest number of brothers. I am on strike and have nothing better to do with my time. Please join me.
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    12M
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Apr 29, 2019
    JORAH: I'll lead the first charge. BRIENNE: I'll command the left flank. GREY WORM: The Unsullied shall protect the gate. BRAN: How cool would it be to fly around and just do like, general bird stuff
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Aug 26, 2019
    Trump is stone cold sober but all his ideas sound like something you come up with when you’re super high: - we should just nuke the hurricanes - how much would it cost to buy Greenland - hear me out: SPACE FORCE - fuck it let’s order 600 burgers
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Apr 7, 2017
    I swear if Trump randomly, like, tripped on a squirrel or something we'd find an old tweet of his saying only fat losers trip on squirrels
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    Donald J. Trump
    @realDonaldTrump
    Aug 30, 2013
    The President must get Congressional approval before attacking Syria-big mistake if he does not!
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Aug 17, 2017
    In 1980 Trump demolished two historic sculptures bc removing them intact would have delayed construction of Trump Tower by a week and a half
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    Donald J. Trump
    @realDonaldTrump
    Aug 17, 2017
    ...the beauty that is being taken out of our cities, towns and parks will be greatly missed and never able to be comparably replaced!
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Feb 15, 2017
    did anyone do this yet
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Jul 24, 2024
    Kamala is absolutely a DEI hire: -Democrat who -Exists -In the context of all in which she lives and what came before her
    784K
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    Dan Amira
    @DanAmira
    Aug 8, 2022
    If you ever doubt that you can change your path in life, just remember that this person went on to become the Senate's top defender of hedge funders and private equity #inspiring #inspiration
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