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gregg
@Gregggyboy
I don’t wanna work, I just wanna bang on my drum all day
Philadelphia, PA
Joined March 2011
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Mar 14, 2019
    Me and my girlfriend dated once when we were younger and now again as adults (9 years apart) I dumped her in a text when we were 17 and anytime we watch a movie that is ab breakups she still will say “i wonder if he dumps her in a text” girl’s never forget a thing.
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Dec 19, 2018
    Dudes named James have so much pressure at an early age. Will they stick with the nerdy name james, or go by the business casual name Jim, or the sporty outgoing Jimmy, or the feminine gentle name Jamie, or be super goofy and go by Jimbo
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Aug 27, 2018
    To All The Girls That Had To Unclip Their Bra For Me Because I Couldn’t Get It Done
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    May 24, 2018
    Picture this: You’re 31. You just married your soulmate and are on your way to your beautiful honeymoon.The plane lands in Bora Bora, as it touches the ground your wife begins clapping. She’s an airplane clapper. You get on a plane right back to America and you never speak again.
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Aug 27, 2019
    opened my girlfriends packages from amazon before she got home & you would’ve thought I destroyed her family & lit her car on fire. She told me I took away her greatest joy and best part of her week. I feel horrible about it.Learn from my mistakes.Never open a woman’s package.
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Jul 22, 2019
    I met this girl at the dog park who’s dog played really well with mine and I was telling my girlfriend and now she’s ignoring me walking around the apartment saying“I’m gregg and I have a new gf named Laveisha that I met at the dog park and i’m soooo cool” women are rly something
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Mar 20, 2019
    My girlfriend picks out what she’s going to eat at a restaurant 5 days in advance. She downloads the menu onto her phone,studies it, narrows down her choices and decides before we even step foot into the establishment. It’s wild.
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Jun 24, 2019
    Dudes that tweet like this wake up at noon in their parents house and head to their 6 hour shift at Applebee’s
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Feb 12, 2019
    break up with your girlfriend bc the first night at BED when you left, Ron made out with two girls and put his head between a cocktail waitress's breasts
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    May 29, 2018
    I'm on the phone with my gf while she's food shopping and she goes wow theres so many potatoes to choose from, then started muttering don't panic Katie, don't panic Katie to herself and I realized we really don't deserve women sometimes
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Nov 21, 2018
    thanksgiving eve, a tradition like no other. go get blackout drunk in your hometown bar and go home with an ex from 6 years ago and have sex in their parents house, tonight’s your night and nobody can take it away. forget the haters and the naysayers, it’s your time.
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    May 7, 2019
    The Met Gala reminds me of the elitist people from the capital in the hunger games. Just an ostentatious display of wealth that looks ridiculous to all of us peasants from the other districts.
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Jun 9, 2018
    my gf found (1) gray hair on the back of my head and has been calling me her silver fox all day
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    gregg
    @Gregggyboy
    Oct 2, 2022
    nobody: white couples after dating for 3 months : we have purchased this $7200 golden doodle and named it Bentley and we are it’s pawrents