Log inSign up
Image
user avatar
Isaac Fitzgerald
@IsaacFitzgerald
📚 NYT bestselling author of Dirtbag, Massachusetts 🍎 Next up: American Rambler—5/12/26 (@aaknopf) 📺 Talking books on the @todayshow
North Fork of Long Island
linktr.ee/isaacfitzgerald
Joined February 2009
1,024
Following
37.3K
Followers
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Mar 16
    Mainly here to promote my books these days—not much else. If you want my jokes/theories/dumb drinking stories, come find me in person. Always happy to talk. I'll buy you a beer. American Rambler is out May 12, 2026. ⭐️ Kirkus ⭐️ Publishers Weekly Some great blurbs, too. 🥾🌳🍎
    Image
    1.8K
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Apr 10, 2022
    Walked into the bodega and asked if they sold butter. “Sorry, no,” but then a pause, “How much do you need? Just cooking dinner?” Love you, New York City.
    Image
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Nov 17, 2020
    $1,200. That’s all folks were given. This whole, catastrophic year.
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Mar 26, 2021
    Are boats... unionizing?
    user avatar
    Orlando Sentinel
    @orlandosentinel
    Mar 26, 2021
    Boat falls onto highway in Florida, blocks traffic bit.ly/3rrS1MV
    Image
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Sep 29, 2022
    I can’t explain it but the energy lately is “everyone is losing it” in a way we haven’t seen since 2020.
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    May 31, 2024
    Somewhere out there, a child is free.
    Image
    1.8M
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Sep 13, 2020
    Mentally, I'm here.
    Image
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Jun 27, 2018
    A woman on the street just yelled “SHIT!!!” then looked up from her phone and said “that wasn’t directed at you. It’s just, the Supreme Court..." and a woman standing next to her simply nodded.
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Jul 26, 2023
    At @barbiethemovie I saw a group of teens clowning on their friend who arrived late because he was dressed in an all-gray sweatsuit and they were all wearing pink but then the delayed pal lifted up his sweatshirt to reveal a pink t-shirt underneath and the whole crew went WILD.
    2.1M
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Jul 8, 2024
    Me ordering a bottle of wine with lunch.
    user avatar
    Marianne Williamson
    @marwilliamson
    Jul 8, 2024
    If France can do it we can do it.
    4M
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    May 24, 2022
    Last night I overheard two twenty-somethings having a very deep, very earnest conversation. At a certain point the young woman turned to the young man and asked, “So, do you go to therapy?” The young man pointed at his skateboard and said, “That’s my therapy.” My guy. So close.
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Jun 9, 2020
    Cops, which has been on television for 33 seasons since 1989, has been cancelled. hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/cops…
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Feb 16, 2019
    "Alexa, show me the best way to die." Alexa:
    Image
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Isaac Fitzgerald
    @IsaacFitzgerald
    Dec 27, 2018
    Start writing a book.
    user avatar
    Alexis Benveniste
    @apbenven
    Dec 27, 2018
    Okay who has tips for motivating yourself to clean your apartment