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Jamie Allerton
11.1K posts
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Jamie Allerton
@JayAllerton
Comedian. Writer. Safety dancer. 1/4 of @ComedyWTD, host of @bestmovie2pod
Liverpool, England
open.spotify.com/show/5JICRTLwU…
Joined April 2013
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  • user avatar
    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 10, 2022
    Just found out someone is leaving the office at 4.45pm today to catch a train. Got my “oh on a half day are we?” stored patiently in my throat, like a Navy Seal hiding in a river. Everyone is going to lose their shit with this one. Will report back later how it went…
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Sep 16, 2022
    Can’t believe she smoked 20 L&B a day and couldn’t tell the difference between me and my brother
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    May 26, 2024
    Wouldn’t want them texting from the front lines.
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    Sky News
    @SkyNews
    May 25, 2024
    A total ban on under-16s owning smartphones should be considered by the next government, according to a report from MPs Read more 👇 trib.al/YWHGrFq
    777K
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 9, 2021
    Wow
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 10, 2022
    Had his headphones in, had to shout it a few times. Classic office reaction everyone worried about my drinking again. Just bants 24/7 that’s what I’m drinking. That and Glens Vodka.
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Oct 31, 2023
    You have been cursed by the Captain Tom truck, you have 7 days to embezzle a hot tub from your nearest charity
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    00:00
    601K
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Jan 5, 2024
    Respect the competition and put your A team out Tottenham. Disgusting.
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    282K
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Dec 18, 2022
    They haven’t really got your nose Jack it’s just their thumb between their fingers.
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    Jack Grealish
    @JackGrealish
    Dec 18, 2022
    Wow. What am I seeing!!
    356K
  • user avatar
    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Jun 4, 2023
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    The Independent
    @Independent
    Jun 4, 2023
    Read the text Phillip Schofield sent Holly Willoughby after admitting to affair independent.co.uk/arts-entertain…
    500K
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 10, 2022
    Was busy holding my cardboard box full of my stuff but I’ve commented on his LinkedIn “half day is it!” Anyway hope he gets to that funeral on time all jokes aside
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 10, 2022
    Replying to @JayAllerton
    user avatar
    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 10, 2022
    Had his headphones in, had to shout it a few times. Classic office reaction everyone worried about my drinking again. Just bants 24/7 that’s what I’m drinking. That and Glens Vodka.
  • user avatar
    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Dec 2, 2022
    Switching my mum and dad’s tv from BBC One to BBC One HD when I go home for Christmas
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Jun 2, 2023
    Really nice to visit the Carling brewery last night to see how it’s made
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    93K
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    Jamie Allerton
    @JayAllerton
    Mar 10, 2022
    Replying to @bruffleton
    “Didn’t realise the clocks went back this weekend…”
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