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The paperback edition of Dream Wise is out on June 9!
Lisa Marchiano
1,560 posts
Lisa Marchiano
@LisaMarchiano
- “The task force members found commercial surrogacy to be "indistinguishable from the sale of children" and unanimously agreed that public policy should discourage it.”
- Book unboxing! So excited to get my author copies of @WhenKidsSayT When Kids Say They’re Trans! Come to our FREE webinar on Sunday, August 27 when you pre-order! whenkidssaytheyretrans.com @SashaLPC @stellaomalley3
00:00 - Replying to @LisaMarchiano
- I’ve just heard another story from an acquaintance about a therapist encouraging someone to cut off contact with her parents. This is such a fraught and complex area, but I have thoughts. Here goes.
- A few years ago, something wonderful and unexpected happened to me. As I became concerned about what I saw happening to children and young people who were distressed about their gender, I met many smart, principled, brave people. One of these was @SashaLPC.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoMost of us have parents who tried to be “good enough.” James Hollis has said that life is traumatic, and parents can either mitigate or intensify that trauma. None of us make it to adulthood without some wounding experiences.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoOur parents certainly did things that were wounding at some point. This is rarely abuse. Most of the time, it is the more ordinary, inevitable, and perfectly human ruptures in attunement. Weathering these ruptures will mold us, make us resilient, and shape who we become.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoWe cannot do this while remaining focused on what our parents did or didn’t do for us. To believe that everything that is wrong is our parents’ fault infantilizes us.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoBut they are wounding nonetheless, and we will need to come to terms with them. We all must separate psychologically from our parents if we are to become the fullest version of ourselves possible.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoFirst, of course, there are times when a parent has been so horribly abusive or is currently so difficult to contain that it makes sense to have no contact. However, I think these cases are unusual.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoEvaluating these wounds – understanding where our parents let us down or hurt us and how that has affected us – is an important part of gaining self-understanding. The path to psychological growth means acknowledging the ways in which we were wounded.
- Replying to @LisaMarchianoMonstering our parents prevents growth in other ways as well. We are usually similar to our parents. If we are our parents’ biological child, we may have much in common with them.
