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Maf
193.5K posts
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Maf
@Mafer1ck
Married. Mediocre. Man.
Essex Riviera mate
Joined May 2009
261
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7,615
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  • Pinned
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Jun 25, 2017
    There's no way this is for 4-6 people, I barely fit in it myself.
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Sep 21, 2024
    What weighs 20kgs and has eaten 2kgs of freshly roasted smoked gammon?
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    4.7M
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Apr 14, 2020
    But I'd be out mate. I'm not sure you've thought this through.
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Nov 25, 2022
    🎵You see a faded sign at the side of the road, That says 15 miles to the...🎶
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Jun 24, 2023
    Rick Astley is such a rare & raw talent, & also a very generous man. He came to my kids' school once, spoke at assembly & sang a song. He then gifted the entire Disney back catalogue to the drama dept, except one film about a house with an old fella who used to sell balloons.
    541K
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Aug 3, 2022
    I don't know what the fuck she said, but I doubt Alex Jones will ever host the One Show again at this rate.
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Nov 17, 2019
    The correct amount of butter on a crumpet.
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Mar 21, 2023
    Haha, someone at What3Words is gonna get sacked
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    111K
  • user avatar
    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Sep 21, 2024
    He's got the meat sweats and is panting, so looks like he's laughing now, the bacon filled prick!
    39K
  • user avatar
    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Dec 4, 2021
    A short story.
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Apr 5, 2020
    When Gregg Wallace gets 5G, he'll be called Gregggg.
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Feb 22, 2018
    My better half’s just sent me a picture of a dog. It’s called squid 😂😂
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Sep 16, 2025
    My dad is a doctor. It's his birthday today, and he's still on duty. If you don’t mind, would you send him a little birthday wish? 🎂👨‍⚕️❤️
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    107K
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    Maf
    @Mafer1ck
    Sep 20, 2019
    Welcome to Stoke. (This got Whatsapped to me, I have no idea of source)
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    00:00
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