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Bяyan
153.5K posts
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Bяyan
@MurderBryan
Ohio
Joined January 2009
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21.5K
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  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Jun 10, 2020
    The democrats couldn’t get us another stimulus check but they found more money for the police
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Aug 9, 2019
    Kid Rock is part of a proud tradition of rich kids pretending to be working class and growing up to be Republicans
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Jul 9, 2018
    My sister dated a guy who claimed to be the voice of buster bunny from Tiny Toons and when you asked him to do the voice he said he was contractually prevented from doing it outside of the recording booth
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Feb 18, 2019
    A group of white men is called a podcast
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Jun 16, 2020
    Cops are always like “someone cummed in my Pepsi and now I’m in the hospital” and a day later they issue a small print press release that says “there was no cum in the Pepsi” because a cop doesn’t know what a panic attack is
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Sep 21, 2019
    Replying to @bennyjohnson @BernieSanders and @AOC
    I need 34 different brands of canned tomatoes to feel free
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Apr 18, 2020
    My mom called me yesterday and said that she was pleasantly surprised that they put $185 dollars on her food stamp card because she usually gets $16. Fucking $16.
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Apr 8, 2020
    I love the idea that the guy who helped Clarence Thomas get confirmed is gonna save us from conservative court packing
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Mar 12, 2020
    Politico interviewed me about why I won’t vote for biden so I’m expected to be the main villain of Twitter very soon
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Aug 3, 2018
    I kind of feel bad for Weird Al because he worked his ass off for years to make funny songs and then Disturbed does a cover of Sounds of Silence and accidentally makes the funniest song ever
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Feb 3, 2019
    Who the fuck are these people that love their private insurance?
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Jul 22, 2018
    Just saw a completely hammered suburban dad walk up to a couple of cops and bust their balls for wearing bulletproof vests to eat tacos.
  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Jun 29, 2019
    The Situation is Richard Nixon now
    user avatar
    stoner taylor swift
    @comradebimbo69
    Jun 29, 2019
    The Situation has big "extra in the movie Gotti" vibes
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  • user avatar
    Bяyan
    @MurderBryan
    Sep 10, 2018
    HE WAS IN HIS OWN FUCKING HOUSE
    user avatar
    The Associated Press
    @AP
    Sep 10, 2018
    BREAKING: Investigator: Dallas police officer said she gave "verbal commands" that neighbor ignored before she fatally shot him. apne.ws/OXZuhz5

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