Pinned
Stop saying 'happy anniversary to my partner in crime.'
You do not commit crimes. You shop at Costco
Nathan Macintosh
12.8K posts
Nathan Macintosh
@Nathanmacintosh
Comedian from HFX now NYC Join email list for upcoming shows and New special 'DOWN WITH TECH' out April 10th on YouTube 👇
- White women’s legs are always bruised. Every woman. Every leg.
- I mention #Jamaica in a joke and this is the 3rd time someone has said ‘people get killed there!’ I MEAN... Am I crazy?! #standupcomedy #comedy #funny #rant #guns #america @ComedyCellarUSA
00:00 - When a cop gets hired everything they've ever done online should be looked into the way a comedians is when they get a job
- Honestly who cares if there are aliens. Why does it hurt my credit score to check MY credit score?
- If you’re 25 and your dick doesn’t work, you don’t need Roman ED pills. Stop watching porn. Your dick should work at 25. It’s porn. You’ve watched oiled women be thrown through walls since 12 and now real head from a real woman is boring. That’s not a ‘I need a pill!’ problem
- Comedians selling out other comedians over jokes is the absolute worst crime in comedy. Closely followed by ukuleles.
- It's sad that 'black' is messing some people up. If you ask people 'how should we treat people?' they go 'good!' but you ask 'how should we treat black people?' some people go 'Well I'm listening & learning & reading books & I've watched four documentaries I'll get back to you!'
- Comedians will be like ‘podcast with 100 listeners? Not worth it. I’m gonna go tell jokes to 6 people who are bleeding from their head in a bar that has the TVs on’
- Had such a great time on @FallonTonight ! Here is the set incase you missed it. Check it out! Share it! #FallonTonight @jimmyfallon #comedy #standupcomedy #NewYork youtube.com/watch?v=pnZ4A_…
- What size shirt do you think this used to be?As a political independent & centrist, I’ve voted for both parties in the past. In this critical presidential election, I’m endorsing @JoeBiden & @KamalaHarris. Progress takes courage, humanity, empathy, strength, KINDNESS & RESPECT. We must ALL VOTE: bit.ly/DJVote2020
00:00 - What a pro Chris Rock is. Takes a full slap and keeps going. Only years of stand up can teach you how to do that
- I just want to thank Georgia for opening bowling alleys. It’s been too long since I’ve worn community shoes and put my fingers into strange holes after eating $2.26 nachos made by a man with an open head wound. On my way, Georgia! Thank you 🙏
- To non Canadians, this is Canada. Everything is on that mountain top
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