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Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
191K posts
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Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
@OrdnancePackard
Twitter's leading Amish attorney. Meme Sommelier Order of the Polecat Moonbeam. "Plus Ordy is just a Genx political comic genius" 11th plague of Egypt.
With your mom
Joined March 2017
3,154
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12.7K
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  • Pinned
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Feb 8
    And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins, As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn, The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!
    16K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Nov 12, 2025
    Yes, that's the concept behind a high-trust society.
    user avatar
    𝐿𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝒱 🥀
    @V_Lady2024
    Nov 12, 2025
    Couldn’t you have taken two at once 🤔 1950’s
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    00:00
    2.6M
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Apr 29, 2025
    They uh... they actually do grow back, retard. Most logging companies plant as many trees as they cut. Kind of how the logging industry has stayed in business so long.
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    Black Ranger
    @LordMegazord
    Apr 26, 2025
    “tHEy’Ll JuST gRoW BaCk!” No they won’t. They literally fucking won’t. This is beyond fucking stupid and is actually going to fuck over our already fragile ecosystem.
    694K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Mar 7, 2025
    NASA has lost 42 spacecraft and 17 astronauts. DoD has lost 550 spacecraft. Space X has lost 9 spacecraft out of 477 launches. Frequently the ones being lost are EXPEREMENTAL. @WajahatAli continues to be the dumbest motherfucker on this platform.
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    Wajahat Ali
    @WajahatAli
    Mar 7, 2025
    Thank you NASA for not relying on @elonmusk's exploding Space X rockets. Please keep astronauts alive and make space travel great again.
    Readers added context
    NASA does rely, in part, on SpaceX. nypost.com/2020/11/11/nas… nasa.gov/news-release/n… blogs.nasa.gov/spacex/ x.com/i/grok/share/w…
    386K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Jul 1, 2025
    Alligator Alcatraz is just too long. I'm going to start calling it Gator Gitmo.
    219K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Jul 25, 2025
    As an attorney, I like to advise my clients that when they appear before the judge to say, "I don't recognize the authority of this court. The gold braiding on your US flag is a sign of the admiralty, and I can't be court-marshalled". Judges really appreciate a defendant who
    444K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Jul 22, 2025
    One of us had a fucking stroke. Whomever wrote this, or me trying to read it.
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    Official Lorne Michaels
    @forlornmichaels
    Jul 21, 2025
    🚨 Lorne Michaels officially has is now one Saturday Night Live two ratings NBC of on broadcast television!
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    501K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Aug 24, 2025
    Replying to @CarveSomeFun and @_wintergirl93
    Nobody with PhD in their bio has a PhD in anything meaningful. Is is sociology? It's sociology, isn't it?
    130K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Nov 3, 2024
    Remember you said "It's just a squirrel" when your grandmother's beloved Yorkie is shot by the IRS, when they raid her home, because she made an error navigating the Byzantine tax code for her Etsy store where she sells hand knit tea cozies. Yes, it's about the squirrel, and the
    103K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Jun 5, 2024
    Let me explain it to you like you're 5 years old with a learning disability. The Civil War you imagine and fantasize about isn't going to happen the way you think. There won't be "front lines", there probably won't even be an insurgency, not in the beginning, anyway. What
    user avatar
    Keelthas Jensen
    @KeelJonLives
    Jun 3, 2024
    Replying to @monsterhunter45
    Ah yes, blue-collar workers who stash 20 compensating peashooters that have been gathering dust in their basements longer than they had been diagnosed with diabetes will definitely be at the front lines for a Civil War should the country go to shit. So dangerous.
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    1.1M
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Feb 19, 2024
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    312K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Jul 25, 2025
    Replying to @OrdnancePackard
    And incase anyone reading this is actually retarded, not just Twitter retarded, this is not legal advise, do not do this.
    63K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Sep 11, 2025
    For those of you who haven't been around for a while, allow me to bring you up to speed on something. See, a little over a decade ago, the left started in with their 'Cancel Culture" game. At the time, we told them that it was a really stupid game and they shouldn't play it. We
    user avatar
    EducatëdHillbilly™
    @RobProvince
    Sep 10, 2025
    Check the socials of everyone you work with. Anyone you can ID celebrating… ruin them.
    136K
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    Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (オードナンス・ジェイ・パッカード)
    @OrdnancePackard
    Feb 9, 2025
    Replying to @YourAnonCentral
    When you're so retarded you're working in favor of petty corrupt tyrants.
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    31K

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