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Patch
@PatchMcScratchy
Freudian wet dream. My interests include EastEnders, Nintendo, and staring at your dad's crotch.
East London
instagram.com/patchmcscratchy
Joined March 2009
873
Following
16K
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  • Pinned
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Feb 27, 2017
    When you nut and he's still inside you.
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    00:00
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Oct 25, 2024
    Oh fuck
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    Lady Gaga
    @ladygaga
    Oct 25, 2024
    DISEASE OUT NOW LadyGaga.lnk.to/Disease
    3.7M
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    May 30, 2019
    Last night I went to a gay bar and this (very drunk) girl tells me she’s engaged. I congratulate her and ask if it’s to a guy or a girl and she was so MORTALLY offended that I would suggest she’s a lesbian. Straight girls, this is why gays get annoyed at you using their spaces.
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Mar 23, 2025
    Roses are red, water helps them grow
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    1.7M
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Nov 1, 2025
    musky balls
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    Chris 𝕏
    @cwchris_
    Oct 31, 2025
    What is this men genre called
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    1.1M
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Sep 6, 2021
    Showing a horse a carrot x.com/cntb1988/statu…
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Apr 6, 2025
    Amanda Holden because I said it was ironic she was judging a talent show. I didn’t @ her but she must have been looking herself up bcos she DMed me with a video of her singing on the West End and then blocked me. 😭
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    ໊
    @buffys
    Apr 3, 2025
    what celebrity has you blocked and why? 😭
    1.6M
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Feb 10, 2025
    Realising the bump of coke your friend just gave you was actually ket
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    598K
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Mar 2, 2019
    When you’re in the kebab shop and they ask what you want. x.com/jackofy/status…
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Apr 19, 2021
    Dua Lipa when she hears about a new variant abroad
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Jun 12, 2023
    Thomas, Imogen, Fergus, Chloe and I are having a gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt. Would you like a gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt?
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    5.1M
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Jan 19, 2022
    I think she’s a queen 😍
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    Jul 20, 2025
    I would come out to her
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    234K
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    Patch
    @PatchMcScratchy
    May 30, 2019
    The McCanns: hi- Everyone:
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    bussy summers
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    bussy summers