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My new book, A Very British Christmas, is out today! Your festive survival guide.
Available at all the usual bookshops.
Rob Temple
14.1K posts
Rob Temple
@RobTemple101
Creator of Very British Problems @SoVeryBritish. Journalist. Author. Brand Consultant. Repped by @mushenska.
- If you have anything you want to sneak into the house, Christmas Eve is the day to do it. Can just rush through the door carrying anything saying “DON’T LOOK! DON’T LOOK!” and people will close their eyes. Next thing you know you’re eating a bucket of KFC safely in the bathroom.
- Christmas Eve is good because you can shout “DON’T COME IN HERE!!!” and people assume you’re wrapping their presents, rather than just wanting to be left alone.
- I love in films like 300 where the main guy will say something like “get some sleep, for tomorrow we battle to death”, and everyone just goes into deep sleep, in some wet grass, fully clothed. I can’t get to sleep in a warm bed if I have a 10am conference call about content.
- A garlic crusher is not worth the hassle of cleaning the garlic crusher.
- That’s today’s advent calendar eaten. Delicious. Looking forward to tomorrow’s already.
- That thing Twitter does where you open the app and see a really intriguing tweet at the top of the feed, then it refreshes and makes that tweet disappear before you’ve read it… Well I don’t like that thing at all.
- Is anyone out there still ironing? Is ironing still a thing? I was brought up to believe adult life would involve a lot of ironing, but simply hanging stuff up seems to work just fine.
- “Maybe I could start being healthy before January?”, he pondered, as he spread Nutella on his morning Twix.
- It’s getting dangerously close to “circling back” time. I’m not ready to circle back at all.
- Right, that’s it. I’ve had enough. I’m going to throw away the cutlery I hate. No longer will I be annoyed by picking up the bad spoon, or the weird fork. Why do we put up with it? I’m taking a stand.
- I was asked in a job interview “can you perform under pressure?” I said “do you mean the song?” They said no.
