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Seanbaby
7,156 posts
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Seanbaby
@Seanbabydotcom
I invented being funny on the Internet. 1900hotdog.com, Dogg Zzone 9000, Seanbaby.com, Cracked, Attack of the Show, Adult Swim, EGM, Calculords.
Portland, Oregon
patreon.com/1900HOTDOG?fan…
Joined May 2009
394
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35.9K
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  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Jan 22, 2020
    If you shoot a door lock in Star Wars it opens it, locks it, prevents it from ever being opened or locked again, or won’t hold them for long. Whatever you want; they don’t give a shit.
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Jun 28, 2017
    I'd like to solve the puzzle? WATCHING. MY. DENTIST. PEE. ONLINE.
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  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Jun 2, 2020
    I don’t have a joke; I just want to corroborate with history that today the president tear gassed protestors so he could stand in front of a church and hold a Bible upside down and say, “It’s a Bible.”
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Feb 21, 2018
    I don't want to get too political, but when someone is upset over murder, assume it's because of the murder and not because a secret cabal of liberal billionaires paid them to act sad.
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Nov 27, 2017
    So a white Marvel writer was a fake Japanese writer named Akira Yoshida? That's the name of the most popular Anime with the last name of the Japanese X-Man. It's like naming yourself Cheeseburger Schwarzenegger. While on the subject, please call me Cheeseburger Schwarzenegger.
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Feb 27, 2019
    Date: Do you have any interesting hobbies? Me: I accuse websites of violating my constitutional right to free speech when they delete my negative reviews of female superhero movies I haven't watched. Date: SPLOOSH
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Nov 6, 2020
    Yesterday: “Cry more, libs!! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck youuuuu!” Tomorrow: “Guys, let’s not let our differences divide us. A lot of those people who shaved the heads of Nazi sympathizers went on to regret it.”
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Jan 22, 2020
    Replying to @Seanbabydotcom
    If you’re fighting an AT-ST in Star Wars there’s either nothing on this planet that can scratch that thing’s legs or you can have some teddy bears roll some loose lumber at it.
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Aug 14, 2017
    I bet it's a tough job search when your previous position was "heated up hot dogs" and your reason for leaving was "Nazi."
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Jan 11, 2019
    "A new villain? What are her powers?" "None, but she owns a bus pass, a Napolean hat, and 1 boxing glove." "What's her name? Transpolean Bonapunch?" "What? No. She's The Thumper. Because she fucking thumps you. Look, if you're not interested, maybe DC wi-" "No, wait! WAIT!"
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  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Mar 26, 2023
    My wife made another 10 pounds of human baby! I named her River City Reiley.
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    109K
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    May 27, 2022
    I bet those cops would have stormed that school guns blazing if their wives were in there, mouthing off.
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Jan 22, 2020
    Replying to @Seanbabydotcom
    If you’re making clones in Star Wars, they’re either an army of perfect soldiers or a lopsided wad of shit in a bathrobe that dies without ever fucking doing anything.
  • user avatar
    Seanbaby
    @Seanbabydotcom
    Dec 11, 2017
    READY PLAYER ONE 2 She leans in close, her breasts exactly like two Lolos from the Adventures of Lolo 3 on Nintendo Entertainment System. She whispers, "The cheese pizza from Home Alone 2." My god. A reference even I don't know! And she senses it! Her vagina holes seal! No!

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