Pinned
Hundred bucks says there is a coyote under that rock and that tunnel is painted on…
Swedish Canary 🇺🇸🇸🇪
75K posts
Swedish Canary 🇺🇸🇸🇪
@SwedishCanary
I saw God in the Texas panhandle today. I asked Him what He was doing in Texas. He replied, “I’m working from home today” (posts are my opinions and thoughts)
Texas, USA
Joined July 2009
- I tried to explain Twitter to my Mom and she said, "Sounds like group therapy where no one ever gets better".
- Son: Dad can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What's wrong with the one we live in? Son: What?!? Me: Goodnight son.
- So I’m sitting on the sofa with my son watching TV and he hears he got a text on his phone that he left in the kitchen so he goes to get his phone and it’s a text from me, “please bring the chips and a Diet Pepsi on your way back”.
- When your wife leaves you unsupervised in Hobby Lobby…
- Actually, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government is beginning to sound like a better process
- Replying to @EmmaVigeland and @ZohranKMamdaniWhite liberal women have got to be the lowest IQ group of voters there are imagine voting to be a second class citizen
- First rule of Thesaurus Club. You don't talk, discuss, converse, speak, chat, confer, deliberate, gab, or gossip about Thesaurus Club.
- During the zombie apocalypse, I'm going to Costco. They have thick walls, years worth of food and supplies and the zombies won’t be able to get in without a membership.
- I'm no anthropologist but I'm guessing this tribe doesn't wish to be discovered yet...
