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Today’s Tom Sawyer
263.4K posts
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Today’s Tom Sawyer
@TommyFaceOnFire
Washed out street cop. Autistic re(dact). Bot hunter extraordinaire and author of the #TommyRule And, yes, that’s Bert in my PFP.
Your mom’s underwear drawer
Joined December 2022
3,426
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  • Pinned
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Jun 22, 2025
    Nuance is dead and the internet killed it.
    37K
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Sep 11, 2025
    Shut the ENTIRE fuck up.
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    Joe Biden
    @JoeBiden
    Sep 10, 2025
    There is no place in our country for this kind of violence. It must end now. Jill and I are praying for Charlie Kirk’s family and loved ones.
    4.4M
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Mar 6, 2025
    Was training a black officer, we’ll call him Vince, who came to us from another department. He was pretty experienced so I really didn’t have to do much aside from get him up to speed on admin stuff. By coincidence I knew his wife, who was an absolute smoke show, from an off-duty
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    Q Moe Dee
    @NotABBWLover
    Mar 5, 2025
    I feel attacked lol
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    1.8M
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Apr 15, 2025
    Facts about PSA rifles: 1: On the right day you can get six or seven of em for the price of one Daniel Defense rifle. On the wrong day that number drops to 4 or 5. 2: The vast majority of people won’t shoot nearly enough to wear one PSA out let alone six or seven. And, if
    589K
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Apr 5, 2025
    Be me. Be a police officer. Get sent to Target at 2330 hours for a suspicious person call reference two men holding a rifle. One dude was selling it to the other. It was a nice gun. “Adam 10, Central, the gentlemen in question were conducting a lawful private transaction. I’m
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    Shadz
    @Shadzey1
    Apr 5, 2025
    Buying guns out of a pickup truck in the middle of a field in Texas is peak Americana
    499K
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Aug 24, 2025
    Ope.
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    150K
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Aug 12, 2025
    A motorcycle traveling that speed can and will cause serious injury or death to the occupants of any vehicle it strikes. I worked a scene where some asshole on a crotch rocket T-boned a Civic while doing 80+. The Honda was literally cut in half and the driver was unrecognizable.
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    WeaponOutfitters.com
    @WeaponOutfitter
    Aug 12, 2025
    Well at least it probably didn't hurt
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    𝙏𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙮𝙘𝙡𝙚™ 🏍 ᵉˢᵗ ¹⁹⁹⁹
    00:00
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    𝙏𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙮𝙘𝙡𝙚™ 🏍 ᵉˢᵗ ¹⁹⁹⁹
    263K
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Jul 21, 2025
    Well drinking river water will definitely cure your constipation…
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    New York Post
    @nypost
    Jul 21, 2025
    Constipated on vacation? Doctor reveals 5 simple secrets to poop like a pro trib.al/BpAAQcW
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    110K
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Mar 7, 2025
    Replying to @RichardGlutes
    He damn near cut me off laughing.
    91K
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    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Sep 10, 2025
    We don’t have much else left, Scott.
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    ThePersistence
    @ScottPresler
    Sep 10, 2025
    Do not respond with violence.
    53K
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Jul 29, 2025
    Just had a plumber in to snake the shower drain. His rooter came back with dirt.
    288K
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    May 26, 2025
    It’s happening.
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    208K
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Nov 2, 2025
    Hate commies like donkeys hate coyotes.
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    Shipwreck
    @markthesnark2
    Nov 2, 2025
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    76K
  • user avatar
    Today’s Tom Sawyer
    @TommyFaceOnFire
    Sep 19, 2025
    Bruh…
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    205K

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