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John Witherspoon
2,212 posts
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John Witherspoon
@WitheredJohnson
Scratch Golfer from Senior Tees | Baseball Fanatic | Slot Machine Slut | Cheap Beer Consumer Committee | Ex Glue-guy
Joined November 2024
163
Following
646
Followers
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Feb 5, 2025
    Currently overwhelmed by the smell of perfume and self tan. Make it stop
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    437K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Apr 21, 2025
    Gay son please and thanks.
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    182K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Jan 7, 2025
    Yeah I brought my own clubs on a date to top golf and gave my girl the ick. Sorry honey, I have to get my swings in when I can. #LANK
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    125K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Aug 31, 2025
    I smell the cigarette. I need the cigarette. I know you’re out here somewhere cigarette.
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    71K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Jul 28, 2025
    Apartment shopping with wife. Bottom three experience oat. An apartment can’t be that deep bro.
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    31K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Jul 31, 2025
    QB hand drying towel on the mowing rig.
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    118K
  • user avatar
    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Mar 24, 2025
    No better feeling than finding your favorite shit spot vacant. #handicapstall
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    14K
  • user avatar
    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    May 24, 2025
    The divot pattern of doom and despair
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    8.4K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Mar 2, 2025
    Replying to @willyzsburner
    Can’t blame him. Twin just wants some motion.
    11K
  • user avatar
    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Mar 21, 2025
    Replying to @LIVlefty
    “Hey I know this living room”
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    9.1K
  • user avatar
    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Mar 5, 2025
    Ok I know that picture I sent back in middle school was fire. You can snap me back now…
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    5.3K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    Mar 4, 2025
    Never understood why people uber. If you have two legs and a ball sack that hangs between them. You should walk to the bar. #fuckem
    5.4K
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    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    May 22, 2025
    Up and at em. #cartboy
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    3.5K
  • user avatar
    John Witherspoon
    @WitheredJohnson
    May 26, 2025
    The water in MS looks like poop.
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    7.8K

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