Work Retire Die
5,130 posts
Work Retire Die
@WorkRetireDie
I'm here for a long time, not a good time.
Professional emailer at @friday_beers
- Married CEOs can't even hug and romantically sway with their married head of HR during a Coldplay concert anymore because of woke
- Severance is a show brave enough to ask the question, what is life at Deloitte like?
- You come to me today, on a Friday afternoon, to ask me to do the job that I'm paid to do? This I cannot do
- Greatttt my boss walked by my desk when I had March Madness up on my laptop and now I have a meeting with HR 🤦♂️I should be fine right?
- Just got my first “let’s hold off on this conversation until the New Year” email. Absolutely ecstatic
- HR lady at the company retreat to talk about the new benefits package and why it’s actually good you have less coverage
- Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here is an even bigger Q4 number that you will be fired if you don't hit, you fucking moron
- Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here is an even bigger Q4 number that you will be fired if you don't hit, you fucking moron
- Me throwing out my Zyn before going up to give present my slide of entirely made up data
- if they're anything like the English - gym teacher marriage at my high school, he will be suspended for inappropriately texting multiple 9th grade girls and she'll start openly drinking in class within 3 years
- Me clicking through every slide of HR training without absorbing a single piece of information
- Hey, can we touch base next week? Fully booked today
