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Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
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Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
@__phantomderp
The C Standard Cannot Be Replaced And Will Never Be Destroyed. ➡ thephd.dev | Avatar @KIINGKIISMET | Banner @Reckless_Moss
Hell (Eventually™)
youtube.com/watch?v=vaLKm9…
Joined November 2020
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  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    May 14, 2024
    IT WAS FUCKING C LOCALE BULLSHIT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE C STANDARD LIBRARY HAS AND CONTINUES TO BE A DISASTER FOR THE HUMAN RACE
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    113K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Feb 27, 2024
    I go touch grass for a few days and when I come back C is illegal????
    127K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Sep 29, 2023
    We are entering the Cool Era of C. suya.place/objects/44db7e…
    A screenshot of a post (https://suya.place/objects/44db7e67-962c-426d-b20c-3f1a1c676fc3) containing the text:

```cpp
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <unistd.h>

int main( void )
{
        char src[] = {
                #embed __FILE__
        }, *argv[] = { "./out", NULL };
        FILE *fd = fopen("src.c", "w+");
        fwrite(src, sizeof(src), 1, fd);
        fclose(fd);
        system("${CC} src.c -o out");
        return execv(argv[0], argv);
}
```
So that's a program that unpacks itself, runs compiler, executes the binary, unpacks itself, runs compiler, executes the binary, unpacks itself, runs compiler, executes the binary, unpacks itself, runs compiler, executes the binary, unpacks itself, runs compiler, executes the binary, unpacks itself, runs compiler, executes the binary...

thanks @thephd
    170K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Mar 15, 2023
    > Everything worked and the program didn't crash Bro has a fucking prodigy daughter that builds shit that doesn't crash in FUCKING C++, FOR GOD'S FUCKING SAKE but he tells her that her code sucks I swear to fucking god brogrammers are the fucking wORST
    This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
    109K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Feb 19, 2024
    I will, unfortunately, have to disappoint you: C is a High Level Language that compiles to an Semantically-Constrained, Nondeterministic, Abstract Virtual Machine (SCNAVM) that is then projected and modeled onto ${TARGET_PLATFORM}.
    212K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Dec 27, 2023
    The fact that Fortran has a package manager and HTTP support before C and C++ is one of the most hilarious things to me and it will never not be so fucking funny to me.
    user avatar
    ⃠ emojibake
    @emojibakemono
    Dec 27, 2023
    Replying to @__phantomderp
    their rebranding was actually so impressive. also now has an actually neat package manager
    55K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    May 26, 2023
    The strangest waste of my resources and energy in a long, long time. The Pasture | I Am No Longer Speaking at RustConf 2023 |
    I Am No Longer Speaking at RustConf 2023
    I Am No Longer Speaking at RustConf 2023
    From thephd.dev
    638K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Oct 17, 2023
    Jesus, if someone says this about me just put me in the ground.
    21K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Jul 19, 2024
    Finally, a global computer problem that's not rooted in C for a change.
    23K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Jul 20, 2024
    For all he people that kept linking me that asshole's thread, HE'S WRONG. Provably so. Here's an analysis from somebody who's head in on straight and is a literal world expert at this (also featuring a quick Godbolt snippet, praise be to CE!!):
    user avatar
    Tavis Ormandy
    @taviso
    Jul 20, 2024
    This strange tweet got >25k retweets. The author sounds confident, and he uses lots of hex and jargon. There are red flags though... like what's up with the DEI stuff, and who says "stack trace dump"? Let's take a closer look... 🧵1/n
    Image
    38K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Apr 3, 2024
    I'm sorry I spent... (* checks hand *) ... 30 years putting typeof in C. That was too fast. I'll shoot for 60 years, next time.
    user avatar
    James Wood
    @NilPtrDeref
    Apr 3, 2024
    Replying to @__phantomderp
    Why are you trying to rapidly change C? It should be slow/difficult to change. Why not write your own language if you want massive changes from C?
    62K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    May 28, 2023
    Very cute that because I'm a person of color, Armin here thinks I'm just a Diversity Speaker and not anyone of technical merit.
    user avatar
    Onnes
    @0nnes
    May 28, 2023
    Techbros stop figuring new ways to showcase their racism: still impossible
    Image
    119K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Jun 26, 2023
    .... Ya'll. I finally -- after like 8 years -- opened this keyboard up to clean it. And. ... The... the things inside.... ... ....... Anyways, getting a new keyboard,
    49K
  • user avatar
    Björkus 'No time_t to Die' Dorkus
    @__phantomderp
    Mar 2, 2024
    I do enjoy the implication that if I continue to write C and C++, the government won't use my software to murder brown people. It's a very nice thought.
    26K

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