birdbath (@birdbath) / X

birdbath

4,700 posts

birdbath

@birdbath

Over the carnage rose a voice prophetic

Joined February 2010

birdbath
@birdbath
Jun 25, 2023
My female cousin has been exchanging letters w/ prisoners for years, every time one gets out her dad & brothers stand guard at her place or take her away for awhile. They've spent thousands on home security systems. Nobody asks her to stop writing, they accept the nature of women
1.8M
birdbath
@birdbath
Jul 5, 2023
Trying to order Dominos but can't remember my password. GF says I don't need to login. I NEED the reward points you bitch. Realizing none of my ancestors have ever gone through this, an indescribable loneliness permeates my mood. I've been sitting at a green light for 30 seconds.
953K
birdbath
@birdbath
Oct 10, 2025
Highest paid Gemini dev on lunchbreak. This could have been me if I finished taking Harvard's free CS50 course.
1.3M
birdbath
@birdbath
Jul 25, 2025
Typa Nigga Who Go To Thailand For The Low-Cost Of Living 💯 No Ladyboy Shit 🚫 Imma Flirt Tho If I Been Drinking Or Feel Particularly Lonesome 😪
341K
birdbath
@birdbath
Oct 15, 2023
"What do you call a group of white guys talking? A podcast!" *crickets from my zoomer coworkers, no one looks me in the eyes* "Okay, how about a group of black guys?" *their ears perk up, sensing I may say something offensive enough to get me fired which at this point in my
646K
birdbath
@birdbath
May 9, 2025
When I'm riding a bike in a conservative area I know how to maneuver in such a way that it looks like I'm only riding it due to my license being revoked for going over my jurisdiction's annual DUI quota, but if I sense there's fertile libtard shawties around then I peddle like I
213K
birdbath
@birdbath
Oct 24, 2023
My ex once texted me saying she found the brutal fetish porn folder on my laptop & that we needed to talk, I replied with that gif of Michael Jackson eating popcorn. She knew that meant I was dissociating & Michael represented my detached psyche, the place I go in my head as a
449K
birdbath
@birdbath
Sep 19, 2023
Just visited my friend in prison, says a lot of big changes have happened. One inmate knows how to get free 23&me tests so everyone got one & now they switched the gangs from being purely race-based to being determined by haplogroups, there's war between R1b & non-R1b whites. He
307K
birdbath
@birdbath
Nov 29, 2023
When I was broke I'd often scavenge partially smoked cigs from communal ashtrays outside apartment complexes. Some guy must've noticed what I was doing because soon there'd always be a few half-smoked Camels left for me. After awhile I discovered he's an unhygienic weaboo which
351K
birdbath
@birdbath
Mar 8, 2024
331K
birdbath
@birdbath
Sep 19, 2025
Indoor rock climbing. Asian women. Waymo. Vibecoding. Yes I live in San Francisco, I do none of those things but I get $300/month in Elonbuxx by making these slice-of-life posts. The rest of my income is from selling meth that I press to look like adderall to UC Berkeley students
113K
birdbath
@birdbath
Jan 26, 2024
This isn’t Nietzschean, it’s not late-stage capitalism, coffee shops became an effeminate humiliation ritual instead of a place to go between smoking cigs & solving crimes, & your girlfriend is hot but you keep pulling out despite having over $2k saved. Foucault talks about this.
306K
birdbath
@birdbath
Dec 22, 2023
Bro chill it’s just like Adderall except you smoke it & then become compelled to strip copper wires & collect scrap metal, it’s very lindy hunter/gatherer. Sometimes you might have to kill someone
168K
birdbath
@birdbath
May 26, 2025
Porn is bad for ugly people to consume because their genetic memory was not conditioned to see beautiful people naked without experiencing psychosis. The legal blood alcohol content % could be quadrupled if they didn't hand out drivers licenses to women and foreigners like candy.
130K