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Brona C Titley
15.8K posts
Brona C Titley
@bronactitley
TV comedy writer & actor. Shows like #SpittingImage #Motherland #TraceyUllman #AntandDec Views are my own &any other views you like on Twitter are mine as well
- A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. She immediately said “Why not 3?” and honestly it’s a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight.
- wow, ok, unfollowing now. was a big fan of her house made of sweets, was not aware she used it to lure children into her oven to cook & eat them
- My toddler just slapped me with one glove. She may not know what it means but I’m a woman of honour. We duel at dawn.
- I love telling taxi drivers I got more into football when England won the Euros two years ago, and they correct me that England didn’t win the Euros two years ago, and I correct them that England did win the Euros two years ago.
- My toddler just put her mouth up against the kitchen drawer and screamed “ARE YOU OKAY IN THERE SELLOTAPE???” if anyone needed a small hit of innocent joy.
- I really want my baby daughter to play with gender-appropriate toys. Does anyone know where I can get her a mini glass ceiling?
- To my beautiful wife on our anniversary, I just want to say with all my heart… That there’s a huge pile of clothes on the floor of our room and I’d really appreciate it if you could put them away
- My wife has been in Australia for ONE day, and she’s already seen a cockatoo in a tree, eating a pizza.
- I gave birth to our daughter Rua on Tuesday. It was the most beautiful, extraordinary & terrifying event of my life. Mothers & baby doing well. Will be off the radar for a bit, but I assume raising a child is very very easy so I’ll be back to regular jokes soon, amirite.
- Irish people - I told my (British) wife to bring me a couple of sweets & she brought me two and doesn’t understand why I’m mad.
- My toxic trait is collecting up all the grey trays after airport security and banging them back into their place & looking around smugly as if to say “THAT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM PEOPLE, IT ISN’T HARD”.
- Usually when strangers ask my toddler “Where’s Daddy?” I politely say she has 2 mothers. But just for today, I decided to look wistfully off into the distance and say… “Prison”.
