Pinned
anonymous crypto confessions by @illustratealpha THERE IS NO COIN. THERE IS NO DISCORD. Supported by @rollbit
- The guy that used to bully me in school, and I secretly hate, asked me for trading advice. I wanted him to lose money, so told him to do the exact opposite of me and short support last week. He made 9k profit and I got liquidated.
- Made 1.5m$ in last few months. Decided to cash it out. Not a single bank allows me to cash more than 3k/month. You are not allowed to get rich in Eastern Europe.
- I gave a hooker around 3 BTC in the summer of 2013 and I still check on the address. She has begun depositing to Coinbase to presumably sell. I have no Bitcoin.
- She woke up in the middle of the night, Sunday, and transferred our funds from FTX to our Ledger.
- My wife has a crypto Twitter account that I run. She knows nothing about crypto, and I make all the posts for her and get her to take pics from time to time. Simps just send her Eth for no reason. We have just booked an African safari paid entirely by crypto people.
- While my dad had stage 4 lung cancer, I yolo'd $5,000 into Dogecoin at .001. Sold close to the top. Dogecoin paid for my father's experimental surgery which gave me a couple months more with him. I owe this space so much.
- I bought my ex-girlfriend some bitcoin back in 2013 as a Christmas present. She ended up forgetting about the wallet after we broke up. That money changed my life.
- I bought weed on the darkweb for 4,220 BTC. I still sometimes go back and look at the transaction onchain.
- I am a Korean American who chose American citizenship at age 18. I made 2.1m in crypto in 2021. I am going to the Korean military next month to apply to get my Korean citizenship back so that I can cash out in Korea without taxes.
- I'm a Head of Strategy of a web3 startup whose market cap is approx $700 Million. I have no strategies.
- My portofolio is up like $300k this year so far. That’s $7k a day. My girlfriend still gives me shit that I don’t have a “real job” whilst she works 12 hours a day for $3k a month. I’m never telling her.
- Turned $300 into $600,000 worth of tokens, but there's barely any liquidity. Every time I try to sell $1,000, the market cap drops by $200,000. Am I stuck?
- I am a 20-year-old Nigerian. Made close to $250k this bull run. Invested $200k in real estate and parents' business. Have $40k left for the next bull run. Feels good.




