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Ignacio Lopez
@comedylopez
Spain's Best Export. 2026 Tour: 🎫🎟️ on sale on my website now! For corporate & club bookings: [email protected]
Wales, United Kingdom
comedylopez.com
Joined May 2009
2,773
Following
24K
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  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Witnessed the most amazing thing on the train to Edinburgh yesterday. A guy boarded in Wigan & sat opposite me. He went to sleep for an hour. When he woke up he bought a sandwich, ate it & went back to sleep. (This isn’t a maths test, you don’t need to know the distance/speed).
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Replying to @comedylopez
    The guy didn’t sleep again after that. He spent the rest of the journey staring down at that receipt. I mean, the real crime here is the price of rail travel but, wow. What a trip.
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jul 10, 2024
    Is football coming home, or is it retiring in Spain like most English?
    805K
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jul 29, 2018
    London, here, reminding me that I can’t even afford to die.
    An advert on a London Underground train that reads “No fuss, low cost cremation - £1,195.”
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Replying to @comedylopez
    By night I’m a comedian, but by day, I’d like to be shooting a Columbo movie with @MarkRuffalo in the main role and @FunnySuzyB as exec producer. Give me a chance, Hollywood, you cowards.
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Oct 11, 2024
    Had a horrible experience on way to a gig tonight; complete opposite to the usual experience I’ve had in Yorkshire and North of England previously. I got the train from Leeds, almost all the seats taken (so far so normal)…
    5.7M
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Mar 31, 2021
    Dogging is the most British thing ever. It’s like someone looked at an orgy and thought, “How can we make this more like a car boot sale?”
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Aug 4, 2022
    Come watch an immigrant take the piss out of the U.K. at @edfringe - 8.20pm in @Gildedballoon Patter Hoose Tonight!
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    Ignacio Lopez
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    Ignacio Lopez
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Oct 11, 2024
    Replying to @comedylopez
    Turns out the women work at @LakelandLeather in York. This hasn’t all been one long advert for them. 😂They were super friendly, and went out of their way to be kind and try and help. Lakeland are lucky to have them on their team, and I’m going to check out their jackets. 🙌🏼
    517K
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Replying to @comedylopez
    Maintaining eye contact with the perp, the train guard puts the card down next to the receipt. “This is the same card used to buy the sandwich, sir.” The guy’s eyes are darting back and forth from the guard to the card. “No.... what?”
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Replying to @comedylopez
    “I fell asleep. I was a bit spaced out” “No problem, sir. Where did you get on” “Wigan” “That’ll be £71, please, sir”
  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Replying to @comedylopez
    “This receipt is for a sandwich, you’ve got crumbs all over you.” He does, too! The train guard is Sherlock Holming the crap out of this. The guy might has well have had mayo on his face. What a plum!
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  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Aug 22, 2019
    Here’s my song about why Spain hates the U.K. From my solo show #EspañYOLO.
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  • user avatar
    Ignacio Lopez
    @comedylopez
    Jan 11, 2020
    Replying to @comedylopez
    Sweet Falk! He’s got him!
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