My wife got this cool remote start thing that starts the car when cold, turns up the heat, fills it with gas
It’s me, I’m the remote start.
Faber
21.9K posts
Faber
@dfaber84
Dairy Farmer, Speaker, once made 6 free throws in a row.
Washington, USA
Joined September 2014
- It’s an energy boosting super food that makes the best detox. It’s 100% natural, non GMO, gluten free, and plant derived. That’s right kids, it’s Cocaine.
- Being married is moving a five pound fake pear three times a day to eat, so once a month someone can come over and comment on the lovely decor.
- Guess who ran away, made a family cry all night, and had to get picked up from the neighbors, this little hooker.
- My three year old daughter is running up to boys and showing them her big girl panties and I’m praying to the good Lord she grows outta that before she’s sixteen.
- Daughter: Hey Dad! This baby calf is a girl! Me: Oh really, Why’s that? Daughter: It has eyelashes.
- This is why there is an electoral college....This is land by the Colorado, Kansas border from a plane. Pretty cool. I have no idea how/ why it looks like this
- Breaking News: Local school has 4.0 GPA after expelling all the B and C students.
- Daughter: Can i have a puppy? Me: No. Daughter: Can I have a horse? Me.....
- My daughter told me yesterday that graduating Kindergarten wasn’t easy, she had to work hard, be on time, and be nice to some mean people, and you know what I kinda felt that.
- I wonder how Jeff Bezos became the richest guy in the world. - Me as I take 47 Amazon boxes out of the house
- You’re racist because.... ....Spins the wheel..... You drink milk!
- Every farmer when they get dragged on a vacation.
- I asked my daughter why she flips her cinnamon sugar toast over to eat it, and she said cause the flavor goes on your tongue, and I’m re evaluating everything in life.
