if i were a 300 year old immortal vampire, i would simply not enrol in a local high school
ellewasamistake
5,981 posts
ellewasamistake
@ellewasamistake
host of the tonight show with jimmy fallon
- joker: if you kill me, you can save all these people batman: no, if i kill you, that means that i'm no different from you joker: batman: joker: have you ever heard of the trolley problem
- judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth me: yes judge: who do you like me: omg dare
- if i were a 400 year old immortal vampire, i would simply not enrol in a local high school
- white people be like "why do you have to riot, why can't you be like martin luther king and die"
- my dad: you'll understand when you're older me, 25: literally what the fuck is happening ever
- by age 25, you should have: -a failed youtube career -a foreign film you watched accidently yet always recommend -an unfinished 12 chapter fanfiction -an unfounded hatred of tik tok -had enough
- i ain't victim-blaming, but why tf was an egg sitting on a wall
- i ain't victim-blaming, but why tf was an egg sitting on a wall
- gotta respect the longevity of microsoft word. nothing about it works and it's still the standard. want to move an image? go to hell. edit a pdf? edit your expectations. ignore a spelling mistake? how about suck my dick. that'll be 150$
- They shot a black man in the head and then shot the medics helping him. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺.A black 20-year-old student Justin Howell is in critical condition with brain damage after @Austin_Police deliberately shot him in the head; then shot the medics helping him. Resign @Chief_Manley & @MayorAdler. #hisnameisjustinhowell #BlackLivesMatter
- box: meow schrodinger: ignore that
- imagine if english functioned like chinese does and you could drop sick ass proverbs in the middle of conversation. oh you did badly on your exam? well, he who plants melons will harvest melons, and he who plants beans will harvest beans. whatchu think about that
- thinking about how some of the rawest things ever said originated from shitposts
