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POV: you’re on a first date where the guy thinks his music taste is a little too good
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jp
16.3K posts
jp
@excesstential
The good tweets are from me and the bad ones are from my interns
Joined February 2018
- once i took a girl on a date and she said “wow, i love how polite you are to the employees” and then i went home and found her twitter and she tweeted “date someone who is polite to food service employees” and then she had the audacity to get a boyfriend that wasnt me
- My dad can get into “dad-mode” sometimes. He’s a doctor who is worried about the virus, and told me, his 24 year old son, in a 5 min rant that this isn’t the time to be trying to have a lot of “play-dates”. So if you were trying to play after school im sorry my dad said we cant
- looked at the moon tonight. thought of this tweet. i think it’s the greatest tweet of all time
what are posts that aren’t load-bearing anywhere but your personal lexicon. like the ones that weren’t really popular but are so enshrined in your mind that you just assume they got hundreds of thousands of likes - Getting touched during heads up seven up was the last time i felt something
- Do airpods Not have wires Because we are scared Of connection? - Rupi Kaur
- life as a liberal for me is so nice 6:30 AM - Wake up, Land Acknowledgment 8:00 AM - Vegan breakfast 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM - Welfare Leeching 7:00 PM - voter fraud 9:00 PM - 11:00 PM - job at weather machine (at night for secrecy) 12:00 am - 6:30 am - nesting with poly clan
- oh im sorry, is a mango’s juice too sweet? is the summer’s breeze too refreshing?You’re unable to view this Post because this account owner limits who can view their Posts. Learn more
- im so sorry, a paragraph like this would get sent back to a first-year student newspaper reporter. how did something written as poorly as this get published
Mamdani Probably Won't Be Mayor realclearpolitics.com/articles/2025/… - you should not leave your newlywed wife to embark on a dangerous journey to finalize the sale of an abandoned manor to a suspiciously eager transylvanian nobleunpopular opinion on marriage that would get you in this position
- how it feels to go on a little walk after being on your phone all day
