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Fred MacAulay
15.6K posts
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Fred MacAulay
@fredmacaulay
Scottish Stand-Up Comedian.
Glasgow, Scotland.
fredmacaulay.com
Joined January 2009
1,447
Following
39K
Followers
  • user avatar
    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    May 23, 2020
    Well done to @PippaCrerar for staying alert.
  • user avatar
    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Jan 10, 2023
    At my age (66) you don’t want time to go by too quickly, but I seriously can’t wait for the next UK General Election so that we can get rid of this dreadful government. The Tories are acting like a bunch of mobsters. Crooks and nepotists the lot of them.
    287K
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Aug 27, 2021
    OK. It’s time to introduce hound number 4. This is Molly. 10 weeks now. Been with us 10 days and fitting nicely with the other three. @MrAndrewCotter take note…..
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Dec 23, 2022
    Looking forward to Christmas. Last year I got a Thesaurus. It was good.
    569K
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    May 6, 2020
    We have to get this ridiculous shower of twats out of Downing Street as soon as possible.
  • user avatar
    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Jan 2, 2022
    Happy New Year everyone. Apologies for the late message but I was busy photo-bombing our son Iain(Maca) ❤️and his beautiful bride, Sophie ❤️at their magical Hogmanay wedding. What a party we had. 🍾🍾🍾
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    May 22, 2020
    Today should have been this girl’s happiest day, and my proudest as I’d have walked her down the aisle. There will be bubbles this afternoon. Some of the tearful variety, others of champagne. And we look forward to the new date next year.
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Nov 26, 2022
    Just saw the sad (but sadly, inevitable) news that big Doddie has died. So much love for this man in Scotland and equally elsewhere. There will be a lot of big men crying tonight. RIP Doddie. The memories might fade but his legacy won’t.
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Dec 9, 2021
    My late father was a Policeman. 31 years service. Old school. Served a few years in The Scottish Crime Squad. Here’s what they used to do….. When a crime was committed …they discovered that investigating the crime sometimes led to them finding evidence! Crazy!!
  • user avatar
    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Feb 10, 2020
    This is going to be a better week than last week. A9. Tuesday morning. My thanks to emergency services and A&E. Walked away with bruised ribs.
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Sep 20, 2023
    What colour of bin is the one for scrapping your principles?
    75K
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Jan 19, 2023
    Can everyone please stop using the word ‘legend’ for a while - unless you’re talking about SIR ANDY MURRAY!!!
    83K
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Nov 9, 2016
    I set my alarm for 6am. Woke up in 1939.
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    Fred MacAulay
    @fredmacaulay
    Mar 10, 2022
    Walked the length of Princes St this morning. Dear oh dear….building after building shuttered and closed. ‘To Let’ signs everywhere. A few buses and of course a tram on the street. No cars. A few pedestrians. Is this caused by the economy … or poor policies?

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